Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...
Once upon a time there were three little websites devoted to the rock band Queen who decided to go out into cyberspace to seek their fortunes. As they were happily skipping along the information super highway, they came across a man with some straw. The first little website devoted to the rock band Queen said "Please sir, can I have some straw to build a message board?" And so the old man gave the first website devoted to the rock band Queen some straw with which to build a message board.
The remaining two little websites devoted to the rock band Queen continued skipping merrily along the information super highway when they came across an old man carrying some sticks. The second little website devoted to the rock band Queen said "Please sir, can I have some sticks to build a message board? And so the old man gave the second little website devoted to the rock band Queen some sticks with which to build a message board.
The third little website devoted to the rock band Queen continued down the information super highway when he came across an old man driving a big yellow bus. "Hello old man" said the third little website devoted to the rock band Queen "What have you got there?"
"Oh these are pricks" said the old man.
"Pricks?" said the third little website devoted to the rock band Queen.
"Yes, pricks." said the old man "I drive up and down the information super highway collecting all the pricks that have been kicked out of various internet discussion forums. Then I put them all into a big sack with some heavy stones and throw them into the canal. I'm on my way to drown this bus-load of pricks just now. Would you like to come and watch?
The third little website devoted to the rock band Queen thought for a while and said "Do you think I could have some of those pricks to build a message board of my own?"
The old man just stared at the third little website devoted to the rock band Queen for a while before saying "Are you fucking insane?"
The third little website devoted to the rock band Queen just smiled and nodded his head.
And so with a bus full of pricks, the third little website devoted to the rock band Queen built a message board and called it Queenzone.
Later on that day, a complete and utter buffoon called Treasure Moment came dragging his knuckles along the information super highway and after a while he came to the message board built from straw.
"Little website devoted to the rock band Queen ,Little website devoted to the rock band Queen. Let me come in."
"Okay" said the first little website devoted to the rock band Queen.
And no sooner had Treasure Moment registered than he began to huff... and puff... and bored the other members fucking rigid with his insistance that the world was being controlled by freemasons and aliens. And when the other members could take it no longer, they banned him from the message board made of straw.
Treasure Moment licked the sweat off his own forehead and set off down the information super highway in search of another message board. After a while he came across the message board built from sticks.
"Little website devoted to the rock band Queen ,Little website devoted to the rock band Queen. Let me come in."
"Okay" said the second little website devoted to the rock band Queen.
And no sooner had Treasure Moment registered than he began to huff... and puff... and make a complete cunt of himself with his claims that Freddie Mercury had created heaven and earth in six days. And when the other members could take it no longer, they banned him from the message board made of sticks.
Treasure Moment stood outside the message board made of sticks scratching his arse and, after sniffing at his fingers, he set off down the information super highway in search of another message board.
Eventually he
yo Fatty!
o "laird of the lard"
i like the idea of the "Queenzone MASSAGE board".how do i become a member?
ps,what pubs do you recommend in Leith as theres a possibility i may have to go to a bloody wedding there sometime this year dressed as a frigging pirate?
I've read it now.
I honestly don't find it "brilliant" or "amazing" or "excellent".
I'm not saying it to offend or to anything.
Maybe I just don't get it.
Excellent! Excellent! Newberry, people, Newberry! ;D
Quite honestly, Fatty, you should write satirical novels, not just books of Scots slang. You could be the next Vonnegut. ;P I'd certainly buy them!