QueenZone discussion #809319

the_hero wrote: that;s a nice rework of White Queen :-)

the_hero wrote: You won’t be forgotten This is a song about the great Freddie Mercury The one guy that really meant so much to me The music, the lyrics, his personality Sometimes makes you snap back to reality All I want to say is that you won’t be forgotten You will always be there in our heart You will always be our number one Giving us the love that will never part The energy the power you had in you The struggle the pain you had to go through The strength and the love you gave us The words you said to the media, developed a lot of fuzz But they don’t understand you, and I think no-one will You had a lot of sad hearts to fill But you came through and made everyone smile With your glamourous and outragious style So thank you for everything you gave to the whole world You won’t be forgotten, that’s for sure Your mystery will never be unfurled Your music to us is the ultimatie cure RIP dear friend. (dedicated to Freddie)

<font color=red>Quonkers wrote: I did the Write A Book competition in 2004 and won, but I haven't written a story since.

<font color=blue><b>M a t i a s M a y wrote: YOUR ASS IS LIKE A ROTTEN APPLE AND YOUR PUSSY SMELLS LIKE DIRTY PUSSY YOU'RE A BITCH AND I HATE YOU Dedicated to my ex girlfriend =)

the_hero wrote: edited

<font color=red>Quonkers wrote: I haven't written a decent poem or story in ages. I did the Write A Book competition in 2004 and won, but I haven't written a story since. As for my songs, I'd be too embarrassed to put them here.

<font color=blue><b>M a t i a s M a y wrote: Every month for a few days your pussy bloods and you complain a lot I'd like to kill you 'cuz you're making me crazy I guess I don't do that 'cuz I'm too lazy So you better stay away a bleeding pussy I do not adore and this is my advise why don't you get the fuck out, you fucking whore And while you're there with the blood coming out it is your pussy the one I shall not suck Dedicated to my lovely Jessica =)

<font color=blue><b>M a t i a s M a y wrote: Every month for a few days your pussy bloods and you complain a lot I'd like to kill you 'cuz you're making me crazy I guess I don't do that 'cuz I'm too lazy So you better stay away a bleeding pussy I do not adore and this is my advise why don't you get the fuck out, you fucking whore And while you're there with the blood coming out it is your pussy the one I shall not suck Dedicated to my lovely Jessica =)

the_hero wrote:

<font color=&#FF0063><b>Cookies! wrote: It means skillful, I believe.

ok thanks to your friend's words. Much appreciated :-)

Queen_Rox<h6>We Will Rock You</h6> wrote:

the_hero wrote:

<font color=&#FF0063><b>Cookies! wrote: It means skillful, I believe.

ok thanks to your friend's words. Much appreciated :-)

No, poignant means "emotional" or "moving". Shhhhh! Please don't let anyone know I'm here 'cause I'm not coming back here anymore.

the_hero wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote: To the_hero.... you've got some phenominal writing skills my dear, keep them coming. You're definatly one of the very talented writers on QZ, i hope you can make it big one day with them! I'll post some more of mine...

thank you... very appreciated. Now this one, is meaning a lot to me and is very emotional. I know not everyone will read it, which is fine, bu for the ones that will read it. Please tell me what you think of it as it will mean a lot to me. This is about my grandfather that passed away last Friday. ------------------------------------------------- Passion You always had a passion for games But now you’ve lost the most important one Always having problems with remembering names Names of people who mourn now you’re gone The believe in God above That’s the message you’ve tried to carry on to us Jesus Christ the bringer of love Will watch over you now, loving and harmless The passion for friends and family The big smile on your face when everyone was together The jokes you’ve made so sarcastic and playfully And whenever something had to be fixed, you where there, it didn't matter And of course the passion for life itself You sure lived it to the fullest All the problems you’ve crossed, you’ve left them on a shelf Of all my friends you really were the coolest. R.I.P.

anusloose wrote: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

anusloose wrote: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sir Nathan The Cowboy wrote:

anusloose wrote: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Very nice poem.

the_hero wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote: To the_hero.... you've got some phenominal writing skills my dear, keep them coming. You're definatly one of the very talented writers on QZ, i hope you can make it big one day with them! I'll post some more of mine...

thank you... very appreciated. Now this one, is meaning a lot to me and is very emotional. I know not everyone will read it, which is fine, bu for the ones that will read it. Please tell me what you think of it as it will mean a lot to me. This is about my grandfather that passed away last Friday. ------------------------------------------------- Passion You always had a passion for games But now you’ve lost the most important one Always having problems with remembering names Names of people who mourn now you’re gone The believe in God above That’s the message you’ve tried to carry on to us Jesus Christ the bringer of love Will watch over you now, loving and harmless The passion for friends and family The big smile on your face when everyone was together The jokes you’ve made so sarcastic and playfully And whenever something had to be fixed, you where there, it didn't matter And of course the passion for life itself You sure lived it to the fullest All the problems you’ve crossed, you’ve left them on a shelf Of all my friends you really were the coolest. R.I.P.

Queen are the Champions wrote: the_hero, this poem about your grandfather is very touching and well written, it was beautiful. you've inspired me. I read and loved all your poems, hope to see more!!

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote: the_hero, this poem about your grandfather is very touching and well written, it was beautiful. you've inspired me. I read and loved all your poems, hope to see more!!

Do you have some of your own?? Short stories and anyother form of writing are included... How about some of your favorite authors etc?? Thanks for the compliment btw.

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote: the_hero, this poem about your grandfather is very touching and well written, it was beautiful. you've inspired me. I read and loved all your poems, hope to see more!!

Do you have some of your own?? Short stories and anyother form of writing are included... How about some of your favorite authors etc?? Thanks for the compliment btw.

I'll see what i can dig up and summon the courage to post em. i've been looking through my old binders and such for something, so i'll get back to you on that:)

the_hero wrote: That's a nice piece of work dreamingqueen. Any story behind it? :-)

the_hero wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote:

the_hero wrote: That's a nice piece of work dreamingqueen. Any story behind it? :-)

thanks! :-) i try... not very successful usually... but thanks! :-D well what kind of story do you see?

That you worry too much about something you've lost in the past that time flies without giving you any answers

Queen are the Champions wrote: Aw, i like that poem too! It's weird cuz i was about to write a poem about 'back in the day' yesterday, but i didn't. good poem :P

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote: Aw, i like that poem too! It's weird cuz i was about to write a poem about 'back in the day' yesterday, but i didn't. good poem :P

Cool! Write it anyways lol if ya wanna... AND NATHAN... I LOVED IT!

Nathan The No. 1 Gentleman wrote: I was thinking today of the good times we had Back in the days when I was a little lad The days were heaven and filled with bliss But now my heart does miss The laughter, the singing, the fun The sky was blue, the grass was pure Surely this happiness could not endure All the untold horrors to come Could surely for now just kiss my bum. When I used to wake up and jump out of bed I begun to get excited about the day ahead Brush my teeth, comb my hair To be late I simply did not dare I rushed out of the house. I had to be on time To do not would be a crime Rush into the playground, await the bell What would happen today, who could tell? But now those days are all long away I wish I could go back for just a day But these special memories are still here And to me they are more than dear.

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote: Aw, i like that poem too! It's weird cuz i was about to write a poem about 'back in the day' yesterday, but i didn't. good poem :P

Cool! Write it anyways lol if ya wanna... AND NATHAN... I LOVED IT!

haha, i tried but i just couldn't think of anything. Nathan's was too good xDxD! it's hard for me to write poems that aren't really depressing. And, DreaminQueen, i really love your poems too. i especially like the style you wrote it in xD

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote: Aw, i like that poem too! It's weird cuz i was about to write a poem about 'back in the day' yesterday, but i didn't. good poem :P

Cool! Write it anyways lol if ya wanna... AND NATHAN... I LOVED IT!

haha, i tried but i just couldn't think of anything. Nathan's was too good xDxD! it's hard for me to write poems that aren't really depressing. And, DreaminQueen, i really love your poems too. i especially like the style you wrote it in xD

Awww, thats ok. Well if you ever get the writing bug, please post! :-D Yea, ive got some depressing ones too... i'll post one if you will... Thanks dear, im glad you like them. I dont like them at all (mine i mean) but im glad someone does! :-D Cheers!

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote: Aw, i like that poem too! It's weird cuz i was about to write a poem about 'back in the day' yesterday, but i didn't. good poem :P

Cool! Write it anyways lol if ya wanna... AND NATHAN... I LOVED IT!

haha, i tried but i just couldn't think of anything. Nathan's was too good xDxD! it's hard for me to write poems that aren't really depressing. And, DreaminQueen, i really love your poems too. i especially like the style you wrote it in xD

Awww, thats ok. Well if you ever get the writing bug, please post! :-D Yea, ive got some depressing ones too... i'll post one if you will... Thanks dear, im glad you like them. I dont like them at all (mine i mean) but im glad someone does! :-D Cheers!

DEAL!! i'll post some depressing ones if you do :P haha,i had some funny poems i wrote years ago but i just dunno where they are,i can't find em, but i do know where the sad ones are!

Queen are the Champions wrote: Battered Heart grief that lies awake day and night a premature love dissipates from sight aches of a pain greater than my heart can hold smiling lips turn blue, the glow gone cold thrown back into my dystopian life by the one who had pulled me from the ice snuffed the ember as fast as it was made mislead down a path that you let fade a wilted rose blackened by vile truth flesh scolded by my gullible youth thunder that echoes internal rage eyes of sorrow mirrored by this moistened page in an overcrowded world, I'm just another face an isipid being easily replaced etiolating body lies still on the bed battered heart beats despite being dead soaking in the blood of your lying tongue tortured by your neglect, my neck wrung the dream had warned me, the nightmare came true I'm really nothing but a bete noire to you you made it feel mutual, a perfect match then brushed me aside and locked the latch now I disappear demolished by dispair yet this heart loves you though you'd never care

DreaminQueen wrote: ok, as our Deal stated, heres one of mine... This is god awful.... --Untitled-- As I lay awake I long for the next Destraction Beacuse my dreams Will reveal What kills me daily Taunting me like a sunfilled rainstorm Of what my soul longs for And my hearts obsession The touch, the butterflies The simple action The complicated result. As I sleep My dreams play on Like an endless movie Its the love song on Replay The unforgettable lyics Ringing on and on As the chords fade in and out Continuously Creates unexplainable emotions Slowly the tears flow Is it from sheer beauty Or pain of this scene Beauty at the thought Pain at the reality Of this fictious lie As i reach For that knife I am numb To things around me Spinning in the lies Blurred are the truths No right No wrong, just blind. As i become aware Of what i've done The blood drips Along the line i've made As i cry No one comes to save my sould To tell me I'm Beautiful To wip the tears away And to steal the pain As i fell Into pieces I asked forgiveness As well as truth To see the errors in me As i wait For the answers I sleep Only to find More questions And the pieces of my broken self Caught in the re-living Of ficticious lies I created In mine eyes...

<font color="#FF00FF">its_a_hard_life wrote: Why the hell can't I right stuff like this... :-S

M a t i a s M a y<h6><i>The Rainmaker wrote:

<font color="#FF00FF">its_a_hard_life wrote: Why the hell can't I right stuff like this... :-S

because you listen to nirvana

the_hero wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote: The_Hero... Honestly, i am truly speechless... I bow down to your skills my friend... kudos, mucho kudos... You know exactly how to get across your feelings in writing. Brillant. Are some of those songs?? J/W... obviously Lucy is, did u write any licks for it?? I definatly see some kinda "classic rock vibes" about your work... but perhaps its just me... did ya read about my story behind the one u asked me about NOT A DAY?? Hope i answered ure question... And i'm glad you liked my depressing one QUEEN ARE THE CHAMPIONS... and yes, the deal was worth it... got any more? of anything?? I'm glad this things gotten some attention... if u guys know of anyone else round here that likes to write see if you can get em here!

I have a fan lol well Lucy was meant to be this classic BB King blues track, just read the lyrics with the de de de dum dum de dum guitar riff. I intentionally write them as lyrics, but can't convert them into songs. I did my best with the beast, who originally had the black sabbath line in it (kinda comparable with Son and daughter). The last thing I posted was my great question about life and what it should be like. I didn't write it in a song or poet form, didn't even want it to rhyhm, I just wanted to get sentences off my chest.. every part of a song, resembles a day of it's time to be completed. Frightened was meant to be a rock song, it has been played once with an old band I had.. I didn't do vocals and played a very easy drum beat. the guitar parts were very 80s rock. (rainbow, whitesnake alike). For any more details, just ask :-)

DreaminQueen wrote: The_Hero... Honestly, i am truly speechless... I bow down to your skills my friend... kudos, mucho kudos... You know exactly how to get across your feelings in writing. Brillant. Are some of those songs?? J/W... obviously Lucy is, did u write any licks for it?? I definatly see some kinda "classic rock vibes" about your work... but perhaps its just me... did ya read about my story behind the one u asked me about NOT A DAY?? Hope i answered ure question... And i'm glad you liked my depressing one QUEEN ARE THE CHAMPIONS... and yes, the deal was worth it... got any more? of anything?? I'm glad this things gotten some attention... if u guys know of anyone else round here that likes to write see if you can get em here!

Sparrow wrote: ive written 2 novels and a short story. too long to post tho lol

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote: The_Hero... Honestly, i am truly speechless... I bow down to your skills my friend... kudos, mucho kudos... You know exactly how to get across your feelings in writing. Brillant. Are some of those songs?? J/W... obviously Lucy is, did u write any licks for it?? I definatly see some kinda "classic rock vibes" about your work... but perhaps its just me... did ya read about my story behind the one u asked me about NOT A DAY?? Hope i answered ure question... And i'm glad you liked my depressing one QUEEN ARE THE CHAMPIONS... and yes, the deal was worth it... got any more? of anything?? I'm glad this things gotten some attention... if u guys know of anyone else round here that likes to write see if you can get em here!

DreaminQueen, hmmm, i do have more...but will i post em??? :P And the_hero, you are my hero! you have 2 fans here. I don't even know what to say about your work, everything was so good, i loved them all!!

<font color=red>Quonkers wrote: I was always getting praised for my stuff in primary school. I write a lot of stuff, but the trouble is most of it ends up in the bin because I'm never satisfied with anything I write.

M a t i a s M a y<h6><i>The Rainmaker wrote: I would give you a thousand stars and the moon, sky and mountains I'd do anything you want and maybe you'll realize it's really worth the price if I give all my life to make you smile I would give you all I have and I don't need no reason and maybe that is not enough because you just can't see you're everything to me and till the day I die you'll always be Stay by my side and I'd do anything for you just to make you see what you mean to me In the middle of the night while the stars are shining brightly and the clouds had dissapear just for you and I I couldn't ask for more if you are by my side for evermore I will hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you you just look into my eyes you'll see it's not a lie that I love you more than my life but please believe me now I love you so Stay by my side and I'd do anything for you just to make you see what you mean to me

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote: The_Hero... Honestly, i am truly speechless... I bow down to your skills my friend... kudos, mucho kudos... You know exactly how to get across your feelings in writing. Brillant. Are some of those songs?? J/W... obviously Lucy is, did u write any licks for it?? I definatly see some kinda "classic rock vibes" about your work... but perhaps its just me... did ya read about my story behind the one u asked me about NOT A DAY?? Hope i answered ure question... And i'm glad you liked my depressing one QUEEN ARE THE CHAMPIONS... and yes, the deal was worth it... got any more? of anything?? I'm glad this things gotten some attention... if u guys know of anyone else round here that likes to write see if you can get em here!

DreaminQueen, hmmm, i do have more...but will i post em??? :P And the_hero, you are my hero! you have 2 fans here. I don't even know what to say about your work, everything was so good, i loved them all!!

Aww, why must you tease me so??? :-P lol hero's got his own mini fan club goin on here :-P

DreaminQueen wrote:

Sparrow wrote: ive written 2 novels and a short story. too long to post tho lol

Could u post the Short story on a blog or something??? Id like to read it! :-P

the_hero wrote: So.. Matias has a serious side... *is scared* The poem/song is well written.. I'm impressed.

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote: The_Hero... Honestly, i am truly speechless... I bow down to your skills my friend... kudos, mucho kudos... You know exactly how to get across your feelings in writing. Brillant. Are some of those songs?? J/W... obviously Lucy is, did u write any licks for it?? I definatly see some kinda "classic rock vibes" about your work... but perhaps its just me... did ya read about my story behind the one u asked me about NOT A DAY?? Hope i answered ure question... And i'm glad you liked my depressing one QUEEN ARE THE CHAMPIONS... and yes, the deal was worth it... got any more? of anything?? I'm glad this things gotten some attention... if u guys know of anyone else round here that likes to write see if you can get em here!

DreaminQueen, hmmm, i do have more...but will i post em??? :P And the_hero, you are my hero! you have 2 fans here. I don't even know what to say about your work, everything was so good, i loved them all!!

Aww, why must you tease me so??? :-P lol hero's got his own mini fan club goin on here :-P

haha, ok, i guess i could put up some more.... :P *us arguing* "i'm hero's #1 fan!" "no, I am!" haha :P

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote:

DreaminQueen wrote: The_Hero... Honestly, i am truly speechless... I bow down to your skills my friend... kudos, mucho kudos... You know exactly how to get across your feelings in writing. Brillant. Are some of those songs?? J/W... obviously Lucy is, did u write any licks for it?? I definatly see some kinda "classic rock vibes" about your work... but perhaps its just me... did ya read about my story behind the one u asked me about NOT A DAY?? Hope i answered ure question... And i'm glad you liked my depressing one QUEEN ARE THE CHAMPIONS... and yes, the deal was worth it... got any more? of anything?? I'm glad this things gotten some attention... if u guys know of anyone else round here that likes to write see if you can get em here!

DreaminQueen, hmmm, i do have more...but will i post em??? :P And the_hero, you are my hero! you have 2 fans here. I don't even know what to say about your work, everything was so good, i loved them all!!

Aww, why must you tease me so??? :-P lol hero's got his own mini fan club goin on here :-P

haha, ok, i guess i could put up some more.... :P *us arguing* "i'm hero's #1 fan!" "no, I am!" haha :P

NO I AM!! :-P yay! put more up please...Do we need to make another deal???

DreaminQueen wrote: Looks like a deals in order than... Ill post mine if you post yours... :-D

<font color=red>Quonkers wrote: My god, how do you write like that! And I'm supposed to have a way with words? Well you must be the equivalent of Oscar Wilde in that case!

the_hero wrote: well done Asterik :-)

Queen are the Champions wrote: omg, omg, OMG!!! Asterik, your poems are AMAZING!! i can't even believe how beautiful they are!
Everyone's poems on this thread are wonderful, I really like this thread! XD
Thank you, most kind.

John Locke wrote: My new poem is almost complete. I will post it on here when it is ready.

Queen are the Champions wrote: omg, omg, OMG!!! Asterik, your poems are AMAZING!! i can't even believe how beautiful they are! Everyone's poems on this thread are wonderful, I really like this thread! XD And DreaminQueen, I loved your poem too!! Another beautiful poem even if you didn't finish it! XD Be sure to let me read the final verse when you write one! You're an awsome poet! i'll put up another one of mine as our deal states, sorry for the delay, i had a computer virus so i couldn't use the computer for awhile.

DreaminQueen wrote: Asterisk, those were phenominal. I'm truly glad this thread got started because you all have floored me with your lovely words. So i must thank you. And MunchSack, for a twelve year old, thats awesome! Do you still write? Because if you could write like that at 12, i wonder what its like now...

John Locke wrote: LIFE Isn’t life just an interesting thing to own? Sometimes it can be as stingy as an angry drone. But other times it can be honey sweet And it would seem it works out a treat Sometimes life can put you through the wars Whilst presenting lots of opening and closing doors You have to be careful or else life will catch you out And will throw you out as if in a drought BUT (and I’ll say this quite clear) Often life can work out a dear It can often feel, deep down inside That life is just one thrilling rollercoaster ride It’s as thrilling as fight night It’s as chilling as the dark night It’s as rewarding as winning the race And some great memories don’t seem out of place. So my advice to you is this Remember that life is not something to diss Get out and enjoy it the best you can If you do I will be your biggest fan.

Queen are the Champions wrote: I like that vilanelle! I always like a good love poem :)
QUOTE]
I love to write vilanelles, they are very seductive with the repeated refrain.

Asterik wrote:

Queen are the Champions wrote: I like that vilanelle! I always like a good love poem :) QUOTE] I love to write vilanelles, they are very seductive with the repeated refrain.

I love to read vilanelles. The way the lines come together in the end....Feel free to share more!

Queen are the Champions wrote: Don't worry, a deal's a deal, I was just deciding which poem to post. So here we go. I wish I had a love poem to post instead though!! A Day of Darkness awakening on the blackest of days instantly enveloped by the shadowy haze the spell has lifted, ignorance faded reality darker than any hell hole's shaded blinded eyes now can see the truth the way it ought to be masks untied, the costumes fall fake smiles aside, your bluff I call knives revealed in helping hands enemies pose as friends across the lands selfish intentions of the world caught backs turned when a battle is fought left and right the betrayal soars day and night the thick blood pours alone on the day you promised we'd share the silent house empty, the table bare to myself the traditional song I sing wrapped in the doleful feelings it brings lamentable thoughts bring a heart-rending scene pointless tears blur the tv screen as the moon ascends, the spell re-settles twinkling stars dim, my eyes left nettled the day of enlightenment fades away two-faced mind games come back into play phony appologies soar into flight deceit returns, masks back in place tight the knowledge is gone as if it never was the trickery is back solely because this lonely day of truth comes just once a year I'll see it again when my next birthday is here

Queen are the Champions wrote: Don't worry, a deal's a deal, I was just deciding which poem to post. So here we go. I wish I had a love poem to post instead though!! A Day of Darkness awakening on the blackest of days instantly enveloped by the shadowy haze the spell has lifted, ignorance faded reality darker than any hell hole's shaded blinded eyes now can see the truth the way it ought to be masks untied, the costumes fall fake smiles aside, your bluff I call knives revealed in helping hands enemies pose as friends across the lands selfish intentions of the world caught backs turned when a battle is fought left and right the betrayal soars day and night the thick blood pours alone on the day you promised we'd share the silent house empty, the table bare to myself the traditional song I sing wrapped in the doleful feelings it brings lamentable thoughts bring a heart-rending scene pointless tears blur the tv screen as the moon ascends, the spell re-settles twinkling stars dim, my eyes left nettled the day of enlightenment fades away two-faced mind games come back into play phony appologies soar into flight deceit returns, masks back in place tight the knowledge is gone as if it never was the trickery is back solely because this lonely day of truth comes just once a year I'll see it again when my next birthday is here

The Artist Formerly Known As Paul JR wrote: Heres a thing I wrote for composition; The assignment was to describe 3 types of candies so I decided to give it a twist and have fun with the ruskies while I was at it Waking up with a yawn, Lenin gazed over his vast soviet empire. Heading down to his grand dining hall in Groznyj Grad, he ignored his multiplicity of comrades’ praises. Seeing the hammer and sickle above his table pleased him. Embossed CCCP letters suffused his wall. “If only those capitalist pigs could see me now.” He thought. Seating himself at his table, he praised, “now time for a grand candy breakfast!” Glancing at where there should be three, he saw two. The sight greatly distraught him. At his left he saw M&Ms. To his right were Reeses Pieces. Glancing to the empty bowl in the center he exclaimed, “Where are my SKITTLES?!” Stalin stepped forward and said, “Great Leader, you ate the last of the skittles last night.” “But I had my heart set on skittles,” Lenin moaned, “now I’ll have to choose between Reeses Pieces and M&Ms.” “In my humble opinion,” Stalin said, “you should have the M&Ms” Suddenly Trotsky ran forward and cried, “No! The dictator’s affinity for peanut butter well outweighs the chocolate inside of an M&M.” “Yes but neither one can compare to the sweet sugary delight of skittles,” Lenin interjected. Then Colonel Volgin interrupted, “But the peanut butter inside the crunchy candy shell should compensate for the lack of sugar.” Sprinting towards the dining table, Nikita Kruschev interrupted, “but my lord! The mundane orange, brown and yellow doesn’t compare to the chocolaty rainbow created by the M&M’s.” “But Sir Lenin!” Stalin interjected, “M&M’s are guaranteed to melt in your mouth, not in your hand! The Reeses Pieces would surely melt before they reached your lips!” “What!?” Lenin wailed and pointed to Trotsky screamed, “because of you I almost ate bad candy! You shall be executed!” In shame, Trotsky was taken away by the executioner. Lenin happily inhaled the bowl of M&M’s. Trying to savor the chocolaty delight of the M&M’s he soon found himself longing peanut butter. Soon, news rang throughout the Soviet Union about how Lenin had eaten bad candy. When the news rached Trotsky in his cell, the jailer said, “You were right! Now Lenin will have no choice but to forgive you!” “No,” Trotsky sighed, “I will be executed.” Back at the CCCP dining hall, Lenin and his comrades lamented overt the situation. “I’ve imprisioned a just man,” Lenin wept, “and had bad candy because of it. My only hope is to bring him back here and ask him to forgive my rash behavior.” Suddenly Stalin stepped forward and said, “Oh but when he heard of this tragic incident he jumped up, clapped his hands and said ‘Ha! I knew it! He has eaten bad candy and it’s all because he neglected my advice!’” “WHAT?!” Lenin screamed, “Have Trotsky executed immediately!” Trotsky was taken off and shot by a firing squad, having died on the day he predicted his own death. Soon, the chocolate from the M&M’s built up inside Lenin’s arteries and he died of a heart attack. Stalin was left as the heir to the Soviet Union to begin his reign of terror. That is how Joseph Stalin rose to power

The Artist Formerly Known As Paul JR wrote: Thank you two; Its not supposed to be offensive, just a reminder of the effects of cold medicine

The Artist Formerly Known As Paul JR wrote: OK, heres my process paper on how to make a Penut Butter and Jelly sandwich; it is written as though I am talking to an idiot How to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich A great way to start would be to make sure you have ingredients, which would mean you’d want a refrigerator in your proximity. Since there would be a refrigerator, you would likely be in a kitchen. Have you found your kitchen? Good, you’ve passed the first test. Now time for ingredients, do you have bread? That is a must. Peanut butter and jelly would be a good idea (hence the name ‘peanut butter and jelly sandwich). What brand you use reflects personal taste as in whether you use chunky or smooth peanut butter. Since there are several flavors of jelly, you will want to choose between the traditional grape or possibly a strawberry flavor (it’s your sandwich, get mint if you’d like). Great, you now have some ingredients. Since we need to spread the peanut butter and jelly, you will want a butter knife, rubber scraper or a spoon. Now take your utensil and dig a giant scoop of your peanut butter and slap it generously onto the bread. Use the utensil to even out the wear. Rinse and repeat for jelly. OK, you are now at the difficult step. Remember all the books in school? Good, now put the slices of topped bread side by side and slam them together to appear akin to a closed book. Make sure that the bread edges are congruent, you are too good for overlapping. Now that you have your sandwich made, it’s time for mastication (yes, mastication you perv). I would recommend that you insert a corner of the sandwich into your mouth, then bite. Now that you have a bit of sandwich in your mouth, you should chew. Whether you use your molars or front teeth to chew is up to you. When you believe that your piece is ground up enough, swallow. Rinse and repeat until sandwich is consumed. However, if your jaw is broken, wired shut or incapacitated in any way, you may want to put it into a blender with water. Set your blender to liquefy and hold the cover on to avoid an enormous mess. Pour into cup and enjoy via a straw. Now the worst part, clean up. If you live alone or with somebody incredibly lazy, you will have to clean up yourself by putting the lids on the jars, closing the bread bag and wiping crumbs into a waste removal bin. However, if you share a flat or are married, I have a much better option! On your last piece of sandwich, pretend to choke and fall to the ground. Feigned convulsions are recommended. This will prompt your living associate to drop what they’re doing to rush to your aid. Motion that you’re choking and make a C with your index and thumb and motion for water. When the unsuspecting fool gives you water, pretend that it washed your sandwich down. Now is the time when acting experience comes in handy. Pretend to be traumatized by the recent event and sit on a couch or chair with your face in your hands. The other individual will hopefully feel sorry for you and clean up after you. If not, you might want to consider moving. Now that you have eaten your sandwich and cleaned up too, remember that this is not limited to peanut butter and jelly. Feel free to try ham and cheese, ham and sauerkraut or anything that may tickle your fancy. But remember, get some acting experience before cleanup!

<font color="FF0099">LetMeEntertainYou wrote:

The Artist Formerly Known As Paul JR wrote: OK, heres my process paper on how to make a Penut Butter and Jelly sandwich; it is written as though I am talking to an idiot How to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich A great way to start would be to make sure you have ingredients, which would mean you’d want a refrigerator in your proximity. Since there would be a refrigerator, you would likely be in a kitchen. Have you found your kitchen? Good, you’ve passed the first test. Now time for ingredients, do you have bread? That is a must. Peanut butter and jelly would be a good idea (hence the name ‘peanut butter and jelly sandwich). What brand you use reflects personal taste as in whether you use chunky or smooth peanut butter. Since there are several flavors of jelly, you will want to choose between the traditional grape or possibly a strawberry flavor (it’s your sandwich, get mint if you’d like). Great, you now have some ingredients. Since we need to spread the peanut butter and jelly, you will want a butter knife, rubber scraper or a spoon. Now take your utensil and dig a giant scoop of your peanut butter and slap it generously onto the bread. Use the utensil to even out the wear. Rinse and repeat for jelly. OK, you are now at the difficult step. Remember all the books in school? Good, now put the slices of topped bread side by side and slam them together to appear akin to a closed book. Make sure that the bread edges are congruent, you are too good for overlapping. Now that you have your sandwich made, it’s time for mastication (yes, mastication you perv). I would recommend that you insert a corner of the sandwich into your mouth, then bite. Now that you have a bit of sandwich in your mouth, you should chew. Whether you use your molars or front teeth to chew is up to you. When you believe that your piece is ground up enough, swallow. Rinse and repeat until sandwich is consumed. However, if your jaw is broken, wired shut or incapacitated in any way, you may want to put it into a blender with water. Set your blender to liquefy and hold the cover on to avoid an enormous mess. Pour into cup and enjoy via a straw. Now the worst part, clean up. If you live alone or with somebody incredibly lazy, you will have to clean up yourself by putting the lids on the jars, closing the bread bag and wiping crumbs into a waste removal bin. However, if you share a flat or are married, I have a much better option! On your last piece of sandwich, pretend to choke and fall to the ground. Feigned convulsions are recommended. This will prompt your living associate to drop what they’re doing to rush to your aid. Motion that you’re choking and make a C with your index and thumb and motion for water. When the unsuspecting fool gives you water, pretend that it washed your sandwich down. Now is the time when acting experience comes in handy. Pretend to be traumatized by the recent event and sit on a couch or chair with your face in your hands. The other individual will hopefully feel sorry for you and clean up after you. If not, you might want to consider moving. Now that you have eaten your sandwich and cleaned up too, remember that this is not limited to peanut butter and jelly. Feel free to try ham and cheese, ham and sauerkraut or anything that may tickle your fancy. But remember, get some acting experience before cleanup!

*falls off bed, laughing* LMFAO!!! xD xD xD xD xD...this should be published...haha! ROFLMFAO!!!!!!

DreaminQueen wrote: haha! Random stuff Ben... :-P Entertaining. Ever thought of being a columnist and using your skills to comment on the state of the world in humor? Youd be great at that! Keep up the hilarity!