| Under Pressure 02.09.2004 01:37 |
For the past two classes, my psychology class has been focusing on "Interpersonal Relationships." A large portion of the lecture has been about how you need proximity to really like somebody, how you're more likely to have a good relationship with some one physically near to you, etc. Which is making me a bit depressed, seeing as I'm currently residing in Los Angeles, and my boyfriend is from Manchester. Anyone here dealing with a long distance relationship? Had one that did or didn't work? |
| Gunpowder Gelatine 02.09.2004 01:47 |
My last relationship couldn't make it two months without seeing each other, but that's probably because we're young and fickle. :) But I think if both people are completely committed to the relationship and to making it work, then it'll withstand. |
| Albyboy 02.09.2004 03:36 |
Some years ago I had a girlfriend who was living quite far from me... Things worked for a pair of years but then we broke up: anyway, I don't think it was distance's fault. You know, it was obviously difficult to make our relationship really grow, because as soon as we met it was already time to leave, but I'm sure that things didn't work for a lot of other reasons... I would have been sad if I had thought that I could have done something more, but I have never complained that... Anyway, I know a lot of people who managed to stay together in spite of troubles deriving from long distances between them... You have to believe in it and everything will work out fine... :-) Albyboy |
| MetzgerR 02.09.2004 12:07 |
I don't know - I'm currently in a distance relationship, and have been for the past couple of months. I know there are pros and cons, just as there are with any other relationship, and it all depends on how interested the both of you are in making the effort to sustain it. I think that a lot of it deals with trust, too. |
| MexQueenFM 02.09.2004 13:05 |
amor de lejos es de pen....sarse Long distance don't work imo |
| Mr.Jingles 02.09.2004 13:05 |
Are they talking about internet romances, or the common relationship where one has to go somewhere and leave the other one behind? My cousin lives in Colombia and he started this internet romance with a girl from Argentina. Both got so much into each other that they decided to meet in person, so he spent all his savings on the trip to down south. A little ago they decided to break the relationship and remain friends because they both found it too hard to deal with the distance, but they are still considering meeting again when they have the chance and perhaps start a new love relationship. Only time will tell. |
| deleted user 02.09.2004 14:12 |
I live about an hour away from my girlfriend and I was not able to see her for like a month before school starts and it was difficult but we kept in contact every day. Now I am able to see her for 15 minutes here or there depending on the situation, so it is easier. |
| ~Silje~ 02.09.2004 15:00 |
I'm currently in a long-distance relationship, and I have been in it for two years. There's up and downs about it, but all in all I don't regret a thing. We met online, fell in love online and finally met in reality over a year ago. Since then we have met three times, and now it seems there will be no opportunity before next summer. It's difficult, but we have talked a lot about how to handle it and we are prepared to take "breaks" if necessary. Just to get a bit away from the whole online business and then get back to it when we feel able to. So far there has been no need for such a break. I would like to point out some of the good things about long-distance relationships. If it is like mine, that you have daily contact through mail or chat programmes, it brings along some good things. You talk with each other a lot, being unable to do anything else but that. You share opinions, feelings, up and downs, and all the small things that almost no one knows about you - little habits and so on. You tell about your childhood, your family, your traditions - basically you've talked about everything when you reach the two-year anniversary. Sure, it eventually brings along a problem concerning finding subjects, but the plus-side is that you know your partner in a way no one else does or probably ever will. In a matter of two years I'm certain me and my boyfriend have reached a stage others don't reach before after several years of marriage (then again, we act as an old married couple as well!). The interest also stays longer, assuming you meet regulary. After some months apart, you will have missed each other so much, and every meeting is like falling in love all over. Really quite lovely! The in-love feeling does of course die a bit in the online-part, but every meeting is a new "time of my life". Ehm-ehm... I think that was all I had to say. Yeah. |
| Janet 02.09.2004 16:01 |
When I was in high school, I dated a guy for a year and half. We were very happy together. After graduation, he was going to attend college in California (we were in Ohio). He was interested in becoming a filmmaker. We were confident that we could keep the relationship going. For awhile it was not too bad. We called each other, and wrote each other letters. He came home at Christmas, and for a couple of weeks during the summer. This went on for about a year and half. I slowly realized I was growing more depressed and isolated; all my friends had boyfriends, and were going out and having fun, I was at home waiting. He was in a new place meeting new friends, having new experiences. It soon became apparent that we were growing apart, and we decided to end it. He ended up having his own film production company, and he never did marry. |
| FriedChicken 02.09.2004 19:10 |
hey Silje, it's good to hear you and Bogdan are still doing so well together. I hope you will stay very happy together. Send him my regards |
| ~Silje~ 03.09.2004 11:50 |
Thanks, Niek! :-D When I get time (in about two weeks or so when I return from Poland and conferences) I will try remember to get in touch with you. Been too long, and I still want that song by Alice Cooper which you'd recorded...lol! I think that was at the start of summer! Geez, I'm bad. You'll get a hug at least. ;-) *Gives Niek a BIG hug* |
| Albyboy 03.09.2004 11:56 |
~Silje~ wrote: Thanks, Niek! :-D When I get time (in about two weeks or so when I return from Poland and conferences) I will try remember to get in touch with you. Been too long, and I still want that song by Alice Cooper which you'd recorded...lol! I think that was at the start of summer! Geez, I'm bad. You'll get a hug at least. ;-) *Gives Niek a BIG hug*Bye Silje, I've already told you but, once more, enjoy yourself!!! I have just come back from my brief and I'm tasting the wonderful flavour of success... :-))))) See you soon, take care and enjoy!!!! Alberto |
| Plengel 03.09.2004 12:00 |
MexQueenFM wrote: amor de lejos es de pen....sarse Long distance don't work imoExactly! That's why my girlfriend lives a 20 minutes away from me :) |
| ~Silje~ 03.09.2004 12:08 |
Thanks, Alberto! Got your mail, it was a nice read (as always). Will get back to you when I return. :-) *Hugs* to you as well. |
| hamsters 03.09.2004 13:09 |
My long distance relation ship works... we'll have our 3 year anniversary next month... And if i get into my first choice universities...it won't be long distance anymore ^_^ |
| RMT 03.09.2004 13:45 |
Honest answer? I'm not sure they do, but that's probably bitter personal experiences talking there! In some respects they are brilliant, you can share a lot via mail on or here but in reality there is a lot on wonder involved and you begin to become paranoid. I think I'm just a paranoid kind of person, a bit cynical. |
| MexQueenFM 03.09.2004 13:57 |
Plengel wrote:20 minutes? that's on the edge homie, but you are keeping it realMexQueenFM wrote: amor de lejos es de pen....sarse Long distance don't work imoExactly! That's why my girlfriend lives a 20 minutes away from me :) no more than 30 minutes IMO , that gives them time for lots of stuff to do |
| ~Silje~ 03.09.2004 15:03 |
RMT wrote: Honest answer? I'm not sure they do, but that's probably bitter personal experiences talking there! In some respects they are brilliant, you can share a lot via mail on or here but in reality there is a lot on wonder involved and you begin to become paranoid. I think I'm just a paranoid kind of person, a bit cynical.If you mean paranoid about whether or not your partner is cheating on you, that's of course a problem. Fortunately an obstacle which me and my partner got by long ago, based on trust and lots of honesty. |
| the oppositionist 03.09.2004 17:32 |
Im in one, kinda. My boyfriend lives on the other side of the county to me, even thou it isnt as far as some other peoples. But cos we both work, we meet twice a month. Thats once a fortnight. Its hard when we are so much in love, but i think thats what gets you throu it- if you have that strength. |
| Yogurt 04.09.2004 13:12 |
I would say your lucky to have a relationship i've never had a bf -Jeannette- |
| Goo 04.09.2004 14:45 |
I have two friends who were in a relationship, and one of them had to move away. They kept it going for 6 months after that, but just broke it off very recently. I think it can work if you know that at some point you and your partner will for sure be together again, and I don't just mean for a visit, I mean really living near each other. The reason my friends broke up is cause they know they'll have to spend at least another 4 years apart, and that's just too much. But they're still friends, and I think all in all it was a good experience. Distances do suck though. I met an awesome guy this summer, and we both like each other, but we didn't want to start anything because he's moving away to uni this year. :( |
| Demeter 04.09.2004 15:54 |
I met my husband in the Queenrocker message board in 2000. We started to email each other and fell madly in love even before we met for the first time "in reality". After 9 months' intense emailing (several letters a day) I flew to meet him and when we saw each other in the airport we knew that we were meant to be together. I, however, couldn't move to him right away because of various workrelated reasons, so we ended up living in a long distance relationship for approx. 1,5 year - only meeting during summer, christmas and other longer holidays. It could go 4 months between visits. Of course it wasn't nice time, but we phoned and emailed each other every day, which made our relationship even stronger (I bet that there are couples who - even after several years - don't know as much about their partners as I do about my husband after only few years). Anyway, after 1,5 years long distance relationship, we were finally able to move to the same country and begin our life together for real. This summer we got married and are a strong, happy couple. I even think that the long distance relationship made us stronger as a couple. To be able to wake up every morning by your love's side is something that feels so wonderful. So, a short summary. The long distance can be a good thing for the relationship if the both partners are willing to work for it. |