| Penetration_Guru 03.10.2009 20:42 |
Well, the title warned you, so don't be complaining about content... I join you from the smart but rather chilly Minneapolis airport, marking time with a smoothie as I wait my connection to Vegas. 11 hours since I left heathrow courtesy of some amalgam of KLM, Northwest & Delta - seriously, guys, sort out your identity crisis. Haven't flown with any of them before, and to be honest wasn't that impressed. Food was terrible (even by airline standards), attendants were old and unattractive (on other airlines the worst ones are either, not both), and the only possible upside - on demand entertainment content - didn't work, meaning I saw the first 3 minutes of a film. Oh, and touchscreens are a fucking nightmare when the only thing that works is the games and the person behind you is playing Zuma for 3 sodding hours. I also got the usual (for me) sense of "ok, that's enough, need to get off now" with over 3 hours to go - not a good sign! Immersed myself in vol 2 of Michael Palin's diaries - a nice surprise found at Heathrow having read volume 1 in antigua last year. Anyway, made it into Minn, queued for hours to clear immigration where I was rather thrown by the pleasant attitude of the officers. Who donated a sense of humour to them? Through to baggage reclaim, then through to baggage drop before joining yet another queue. In theory this is the queue to have your hand luggage X Rayed. In practice this is a queue behind the cretin who has been living under a rock and doesn't know that "jacket off, shoes off, belt off, keys out" ALL APPLY TO YOU AS WELL! Ticking the "no" box to the moral turpitude question on the Visa form does not excuse you the humiliation of shuffling through in your socks with one hand holding your trousers up. So, dignity restored, had a browse around the shops, then the food court. Was instantly reminded why I usually put on a stone a week in the US - Charley's Philly House was particularly tempting - all that cheese..mmmm Well, I say cheese, but obviously it's not - maybe that gives me a way out. Fake cheese = fake calories! Next stop, Vegas, and the next challenge. Staying awake. You may not think that this should present much of a problem as I'm arriving in LV at 11.30 on saturday night. However, by that point I will already have been awake for 24 hours, so continuing is a bit of a challenge - and one I will have to accept as I can't check in to my hotel until at least 12 hours later. So, in about 10 hours, if this thread is getting lots of updates that are more boring than the average Tweet, you'll know why... To be continued, if I can be arsed |
| Saif 03.10.2009 22:55 |
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| Penetration_Guru 04.10.2009 03:30 |
Good god, how bad ARE Delta??? I knew they charged for refreshments once it was an internal flight, but to charge 7 dollars a drink and yet not be able to give change from a 10 is stupid. To then turn down the exact payment because it included coin is....not good business at all. We were warned that LV was going to be a windy arrival, but not the disorganised haste with which we'd be prepared for it. It's not as if you don't see Vegas on the horizon is it? As for the landing itself, the little old lady next to me called it a 'Navy landing', which seemed to fit - low angle, high speed, trash the brakes and tyres (with a worrying degree of wobble). So, straight through baggage claim, now on to the delights of the Dollar rent-a-car desk. |
| YourValentine 04.10.2009 03:50 |
I hope you have a lot of fun after you survived all the travelling :-) The thing is you do not get anywhere unless you travel. For international flights (OR early morning flights out of London where you routinely spend an hour waiting on the runway in the fog) I recommend sleeping - it's the best you can do to spend time unless you are like me and enjoy staring out of the window for hours. The immigration process in the USA: just pretend to yourself you are entering a police state dictatorship and you can handle the attitude of the staff much better but avoid screaming : "oh no, I'd rather be dead" when they ask you if you want to stay...once you are through you have all the time in the world to enjoy the niceness of the rest of the USA. If you are still bored watch this video :-) link |
| Penetration_Guru 04.10.2009 07:13 |
Bored??? It's 4am local time, i havenn't slept for 30 hours (can't sleep on planes) and everywhere's open! Anyway, onwards. Don't rent Dollar. Reasons will follow when I can spare them more time than I already did - most likely in about 5 hours while I'm waiting to exchange the only car they had left for the one I actually RESERVED |
| catqueen 04.10.2009 09:11 |
Oh dear... I'm sorry. [img=/images/smiley/msn/sad_smile.gif][/img] Sounds horrific. But I was in stitches reading your post, after a few unpleasant flights a while back. (One of which involved immigration throwing their weight around and pulling me off for questioning! Not pleasant, esp when someone else was pacing up and down the room saying 'the pilot is waiting, the plane is waiting to take off.' while i filled in an extra form, and my friends sat outside the room quietly wetting themselves. In times like that it is always helpful to make puppydog eyes and look like you're about to cry, but that may not work for you!) Anyway, I sincerely hope the rest of Vegas is better then the first few hours! And Your Valentine, i love the video!!! |
| Lisser 04.10.2009 10:17 |
Aww P_G I'm so sorry things aren't going your way! My parents are in Lake Tahoe right now and they are expecting snow!! I wish you would have had a layover in Cincinnati! I could have come by and bought you a nice tall glass of piss water (American beer). Have fun in Vegas!! |
| Penetration_Guru 04.10.2009 12:21 |
Travelling woes are the price to be paid for going somewhere interesting, so I am actually pretty equable about it - when looking back on holidays, it's not the getting there/back that I focus on. Anyway, must get on with breakfast - Planet Hollywood buffet going very well, although the amount of coffee now required to keep me awake would have a sloth doing the time warp. Lisser - if only you'd said. What you doing friday? It's not far.... |
| Penetration_Guru 04.10.2009 12:42 |
Ok, Dollar - need to slow down my eating by typing. Didn't expect quick service at 1am, but didn't expect to be there 90 minutes either. The only real problem was the lack of cars available - only compacts, despite me having booked (and prepaid) for a midsize - fat git that I am. Sorry, sir, but you booked via an agency, so we didn't take your booking into account when organising vehicles. The name of this agency? The UK Dollar website... I understand the nature of franchising, but surely the people using the company name should carry more weight than some random third party referrer? The upshot was that there was no price reduction for the smaller car, and there were no larger cars to get a free upgrade to. All they could suggest was to take a compact now, then come back in the morning and swap it over for something that will "hopefully have come in by about 8 or 9am". So, once I've finished this delicious, filling, and most likely over-rich (for my uninitiated stomach) breakfast, that's what I'm going to do. We'll see how well they can go about making it right... They'll have their work cut out, judging by the car I have at present - a Caliber so basic there's no electric windows, no central locking, and no way of hiding the suitcase in the back. It looks like a fucking demolition derby car already too - only 40000 miles in. Grrrrr. Coffee anger being channelled... |
| Crazy LittleThing 04.10.2009 13:37 |
Jeez PG. You should have told us you were coming. I'd have warned you about the landing AND Dollar Rent-a-Car. Sorry about the immigration arrivals routine. I think it's a disgrace and I'm sorry you were subjected to it. Are you going to go outside of Vegas at all? There's some interesting stuff to see (Lake Mead, Red Rock Canyon, Valley of fire) that aren't too far away if you're renting a car. link (Sorry if this is a no brainer, but if you decide to do any hiking and you're by yourself, tell someone you're going, when to expect you back, and take plenty of water; use sunscreen/sunblock rated at 30 or higher, and remember it can get very cold when the Sun goes down.) I don't know if you're into the Cirque du Soleil stuff but there are some online discounts here: link. Oh, and Roger recommends the wings at Hooters. Have a great time. And don't forget the sunscreen/sunblock. --Cindy ps: be prepared for Dollar to try to pull something on you when you return the car. |
| Lisser 04.10.2009 15:00 |
Penetration_Guru wrote: Travelling woes are the price to be paid for going somewhere interesting, so I am actually pretty equable about it - when looking back on holidays, it's not the getting there/back that I focus on. Anyway, must get on with breakfast - Planet Hollywood buffet going very well, although the amount of coffee now required to keep me awake would have a sloth doing the time warp. Lisser - if only you'd said. What you doing friday? It's not far.... Are you coming back my way on Friday? I am off work this Friday, Oct. 9th and Monday, the 12th if you are and I'll meet you!! I live about 5 minutes from CVG and can meet you any time! Let me know! |
| Erin 04.10.2009 15:13 |
Hope you eventually get around to having some fun, PG. ;-) |
| Penetration_Guru 04.10.2009 15:17 |
Hello 'stang..... For those of you unsure, this is a good thing. I love the Mustang, despite it's glaring fault (the trunk lid should include the rear window to make the resultant aperture big enough to actually put anything larger than a water bottle in). Also, it appears that some of you think I was negative about immigration - I believe I said that it was a lot better this time... Canyon/hoover/ etc all done previously. Hiking is not gonna happen, neither is dehydration. Next task is to bribe check in to upgrade me. Then I can switch off for a few hours. |
| Penetration_Guru 04.10.2009 16:40 |
Damn, I can't even bribe a desk clerk... Mind you, tried turning on the charm a little, which was probably a smidgeon ambitious at +36 hours and may have been counterproductive! Good things about the room - free wifi, good sized bed, ditto TV Bad things - decor generally, bathroom just appalling. View of the parking garage not a huge concern, but have heard rumours that the noise from there may be unacceptable. Not many channels on TV, but hard to evaluate until some proper content ensues - sunday is either god or football. Lisser, Lisser, Lisser. There's a yard long margerita here with your name on....but you'll have to come fetch it. |
| Lisser 04.10.2009 19:21 |
Ahh yes...Sunday is either God or football in the USA but I'm surprised God is in Las Vegas!! :) He usually steers clear of Sin City. I would love to share a margarita with you My Lord but I can't get out to Vegas, but oh how I wish :( If you do have a layover on your way back in Cincinnati you'd better let me know!!!! If you fly Delta back there is a good chance of it. Cincinnati is Delta's 2nd largest hub. |
| Erin 04.10.2009 21:48 |
I've never been to Vegas. Would be curious to see it one day...or anything out west for that matter. It would probably be cheaper to fly to Las Vegas from the UK than from here, though. ;-P |
| Penetration_Guru 05.10.2009 11:37 |
How the hell can it be so hard to sleep when one has been up 40 hours??? OK, it was broad daylight, but the curtains aren't bad and I was shattered. Eventually managed, but then woke up 6 hours later. That's not enough!!! Tried beating myself unconscious with a lamp, alas without success. So unpacked, then went to get some ice. Machine unplugged. Plugged it in, many sparks, some crackling, no ice. Went up to the next floor, whistling innocently. Right, enough minutiae, it's.... Bash America time! Yes, the highlight of any interaction with the Greatest Country on God's (tm) Earth. Front page of USA Today...some hick was caught selling videos of dogfighting. His initial defence was that these were educational, of historical interest, and anyway he was against dogfighting. The judge threw out all 3, partly due to the lack of anti- content in the defendant's own commentary on the videos. So, next stage is to attack the law that he was accused of breaking, claiming that it was so generalised as to contravene the First Amendment. Now, I don't know the US constitution verbatim, but neither do the NRA and that never stops them, so here I go. The First Amendment is all about freedom of speech/expression - to say what, in this case? What's this nutter's point? Dogfighting is bad, and for 30 bucks I'll send you proof? I love dogs, which one of these do you think has the stronger survival instinct? Which brings me to my point. Maybe it's not some well-intentioned recent law that's too generalised. Maybe it's the Constitution itself, now hopelessly outdated against a backdrop of the dregs of our society looking to hide behind its skirts and justify actions that are often so contrary to natural law that no actual law should be required in order to police it? Right, where's the poker table... |
| YourValentine 05.10.2009 12:32 |
Why are you so bothered about sleep? Sleep is totally overrated, just a waste of your lifetime. When you really need sleep, you will sleep. Until that happens, just enjoy yourself. |
| Penetration_Guru 05.10.2009 18:45 |
Good question. Short answer - because I was shattered and NEEDED to sleep. |
| Penetration_Guru 05.10.2009 18:45 |
Good question. Short answer - because I was shattered and NEEDED to sleep. |
| Crazy LittleThing 05.10.2009 20:44 |
Penetration_Guru wrote: Good question. Short answer - because I was shattered and NEEDED to sleep.Yeah, yeah, yeah, but more importantly, what kind of trouble are you getting into? Have you been arrested yet? Details! We want details! ; ) Hope you're having fun. |
| Penetration_Guru 06.10.2009 13:04 |
You can now have another reason for sleep - avoiding bags under the eyes. Woke up this morning and I looked like a fucking zombie. Details? I don't kiss and tell. What is the deal with Brett Favre? How did he end up being the poor little guy sticking it to the (Pack-) man? Seems to me he just can't make up his mind, which makes the decision to go with the new guy last season all the more sensible in hindsight. Having said that, what a player he is. Enjoyed the game a great deal. Looking forward to the baseball tiebreaker tonight, too. I'm writing this from a very unusual location - a casino that allows in natural light. I don't know how the Flamingo stays in business... |
| Penetration_Guru 06.10.2009 21:40 |
The pressure in that 10th inning must have been huge - for both sides. 11th just finished and it looks like it will be a Detroit error that decides this to me. |
| Penetration_Guru 07.10.2009 11:57 |
How wrong I was - amazing how Keppel got away with pitching so low. Can't believe the whining about pitches hitting shirts - the rule's there to protect the player, not his clothes. Good game though - expect them to get destroyed tonight though. |
| Holly2003 07.10.2009 12:12 |
No self-respecting British person would ever watch baseball. It has all the trappings of a sport, without any of the excitement. Plus the rules are too simple. Give me test match cricket any day: silly mid-on, googlies, flat-pitch bullies, the wrong 'un, bouncers, yorkers, the corridor of uncertainty, my granny could've caught that one in her pinny etc. Rather. |
| YourValentine 07.10.2009 12:28 |
Aha - so it was about Baseball. I always thought Las Vegas is about gambling, big entertainment and money laundering... |
| Crazy LittleThing 07.10.2009 23:19 |
Penetration_Guru wrote: How wrong I was - amazing how Keppel got away with pitching so low. Can't believe the whining about pitches hitting shirts - the rule's there to protect the player, not his clothes. Good game though - expect them to get destroyed tonight though.Wow, American football and baseball. I'm impressed. It sounds like you're enjoying yourself, PG. I hope so. Cheers, Cindy |
| Lisser 08.10.2009 08:55 |
Holly2003 wrote: No self-respecting British person would ever watch baseball. It has all the trappings of a sport, without any of the excitement. Plus the rules are too simple. Give me test match cricket any day: silly mid-on, googlies, flat-pitch bullies, the wrong 'un, bouncers, yorkers, the corridor of uncertainty, my granny could've caught that one in her pinny etc. Rather. Holy shit! Is that English??? ;) |
| Holly2003 08.10.2009 11:19 |
Lisser wrote:Holly2003 wrote: No self-respecting British person would ever watch baseball. It has all the trappings of a sport, without any of the excitement. Plus the rules are too simple. Give me test match cricket any day: silly mid-on, googlies, flat-pitch bullies, the wrong 'un, bouncers, yorkers, the corridor of uncertainty, my granny could've caught that one in her pinny etc. Rather.Holy shit! Is that English??? ;) Yeah baby! |
| Penetration_Guru 08.10.2009 23:00 |
What do Celts know of sport? Back to your drinking, heathen... |
| Penetration_Guru 09.10.2009 15:40 |
I'm sitting taking five minutes between two oversized slot machines, and it's fascinating to see the draw they have on people. They're just dollar slots, but the amount of trade they see is amazing. Admittedly nobody pulls up a chair and sits at them for an hour as with regular sized machines...though I was tempted to do so for a laugh, I'm not convinced that they have the same payout profile - I'd expect them to be colder machines generally, but bigger payers when they do. Sort of like strippers - much harder to get into bed, but much more fun once you do. I imagine |
| Micrówave 09.10.2009 15:45 |
Play the nickel slots. You still get complimentary cocktails. Getting pissed for .65 cents is what Vegas is all about, isn't it? (hiccup) |
| Penetration_Guru 09.10.2009 16:09 |
Anyway, back to the slots. No....the large entertaining devices. Sitting here watching them makes me wonder if there isn't a trick being missed here. In the old days, Vegas was awash with hundreds of tonnes of coins, all being carried around in large plastic cups and calling attention to big wins with a pounding "chunka" noise that seems to continue far longer than the number of coins actually being dispensed. However this was obviously a very expensive and labour intensive way of doing things, so coins got replaced by printed bar coded tickets and redemption machines. All very reliable, convenient and customers don't get their hands filthy. But, there's clearly an acknowlegement that part of the casino experience is the noise - a cheer from the craps table, a collective groan from blackjack, and the sounds of winning slots sending the subliminal message that there's money to be made here if you're sitting in the right seat. That acknowledgement comes in the form of a recorded coin sound as your ticket is printed with your winnings, or your cut loss. So I'm thinking - given how little winnings these two pay, couldn't they pay out in silver dollars (which all casinos have commemoratively minted since the US government still can't see that needing a banknote to buy a newspaper is utterly ridiculous)? The machines are huge, let the payout format be huge too. There are currently people queueing to play both machines, and I haven't seen anyone get a bigger win than 10 credits in 15 minutes. What is slightly surprising is I'd expect to see more "how close was that" moments, where the first three reels show jackpot and the fourth snatches it away. |
| Holly2003 09.10.2009 16:14 |
Penetration_Guru wrote: What do Celts know of sport? Back to your drinking, heathen... Celt? I'm a Huguenot. We're an oppressed people. Try finding a box to tick on the census form if you're one of my people. I'm Irish when I'm in the US though: begorrah, bejabbers, and all that aul crap. Easier to pick up drunk chicks in bars that way ;) |
| Penetration_Guru 09.10.2009 21:47 |
The alternative drinking method is the frozen cocktail in odd shaped containers - I've just finished a delicious (and surprisingly alcoholic) slush puppie type beverage that was served in a plastic cowboy boot. You can't beat that for tackiness - there are also "yard of ale" shaped containers that come with neckstraps to assist those who have drunk so much that they have forgotten how to operate an opposable thumb. |
| Penetration_Guru 10.10.2009 02:48 |
Is there a contract out on Erik from Safelite yet? The irritating bastard - it's a good thing we don't have anything like that in the UK, otherwise there'd be some twat of a Brummie called Gavin or something... |
| Penetration_Guru 10.10.2009 22:12 |
One of the highlights of the week, and a key factor in being here this particular week, was that for the first time a band would be playing that I actually wanted to see - Motorhead. So, one of the first things I did when I got here was get a ticket - which just got refunded as Lemmy is apparently sick. The option of seeing just the three support bands was open, but I'm not paying full price for half a show...and Nashville Pussy just aren't THAT good. So, what can I get for 40 dollars in Vegas? Obviously I know the answer to this... |
| Crazy LittleThing 10.10.2009 23:29 |
Penetration_Guru wrote: One of the highlights of the week, and a key factor in being here this particular week, was that for the first time a band would be playing that I actually wanted to see - Motorhead. So, one of the first things I did when I got here was get a ticket - which just got refunded as Lemmy is apparently sick. The option of seeing just the three support bands was open, but I'm not paying full price for half a show...and Nashville Pussy just aren't THAT good. So, what can I get for 40 dollars in Vegas? Obviously I know the answer to this...A steak at Harrah's? |
| Penetration_Guru 11.10.2009 15:30 |
I had no room for steak, having spent an hour or so that afternoon with my snout buried deep in Mandalay Bay's buffet trough. It was all I could do to roll my corpulent overfed belly back to a suitable bar for the rest of the evening. No idea what time I crawled into bed, but did manage to make it up in time to pack, chek out, and find the cheapest gas with which to fill up before returning the car. So, now I sit here at the airport with a couple of hours to kill - have just finished my lunch which to my shame was something called a "Triple Whopper" - now my excuse is that I haven't eaten in 20 hours and given how bad Delta's food was on the way out it'll be another 16 before I get the chance (quick change at Minneapolis, so no opportunity there), but that can't be a sufficiently popular situation to justify an entire menu item??? Which means that the US food industry is continuing its policy of encouraging obesity - as also evidenced by the takeaway pizza menu that was pushed under my (ninth floor) door last night, offerring me 2 16" pizzas for 20 dollars. What a country, you have to love it. Even if the wifi coverage is atrocious, people still wear mobile phones in a holster on their hip, and Ed Hardy designs are sold in Walmart. |
| Holly2003 11.10.2009 16:44 |
Penetration_Guru wrote:
I had no room for steak, having spent an hour or so that afternoon with my snout buried deep in Mandalay Bay's buffet trough.
It was all I could do to roll my corpulent overfed belly back to a suitable bar for the rest of the evening. No idea what time I crawled into bed, but did manage to make it up in time to pack, chek out, and find the cheapest gas with which to fill up before returning the car.
So, now I sit here at the airport with a couple of hours to kill - have just finished my lunch which to my shame was something called a "Triple Whopper" - now my excuse is that I haven't eaten in 20 hours and given how bad Delta's food was on the way out it'll be another 16 before I get the chance (quick change at Minneapolis, so no opportunity there), but that can't be a sufficiently popular situation to justify an entire menu item??? Which means that the US food industry is continuing its policy of encouraging obesity - as also evidenced by the takeaway pizza menu that was pushed under my (ninth floor) door last night, offerring me 2 16" pizzas for 20 dollars.
What a country, you have to love it. Even if the wifi coverage is atrocious, people still wear mobile phones in a holster on their hip, and Ed Hardy designs are sold in Walmart.
Indeed, for all its faults, it's an amazing place and amazing people. |
| Penetration_Guru 11.10.2009 21:05 |
Absolutely - I know I've been ceritical of specifics, but in general it's great |