Hello all. Long time no see.
I was down the Reform Club t'other night ( well, every night actually - I need to be out of the house a lot at the moment, we've a toddler potty training, so there's shit all over the shop. She says hello, by the way ), and I made a witty remark about the band that were playing. Something along the lines of they must be playing with their arses to hit all those bum notes. Anyway, it was terrifically funny, and you would definitely have laughed had you been there. But my chum Winker Watkins pipes up: "Aw c'mon Flash, they aren't too bad. Anyway, what do you know about music? A bloody Queen fan, aren't you?"
I replied in the affirmative and prepared myself to respond to the usual stream of questions that you've probably answered yourself a dozen or so times.
WINKER : I saw em on that show t'other week. They had some fella singing with em. What's all that about? What's his name?
FLASHY: Paul Rodgers
WINKER : Does he though? But what's he called?
FLASHY : No, that is his name. He used to be in a band whose name I forget. Oh aye, Free, that was it, I think. They did that song, oh y'know, err... Alright Now. You may remember it from that chewing gum advert with that bird with the tits.
WINKER : Oh aye! I remember. Good tits, those. What else did they do?
FLASHY: Fuck knows. Something about a Wishing Well, or something.
WINKER : Didn't WetWetWet do a cover of that?
FLASHY: I expect so, Winks. They covered everything else.
WINKER: And didn't Queen used to have another guitarist? That bloke who never did anything? He was crap, him. I could have done that.
FLASHY: John Deacon? He's retired. And he was bloody brilliant. He wrote some of their biggest hits, and was a wonderfully gifted bass player.
WINKER: Aye, he was rubbish, him. Well, whoever that bloke Paul Whatsit was, he's no Freddie Mercury. Shame he was a poof, otherwise I'd have probably been a fan myself. But it ain't natural what that lot get up to.
FLASHY: It doesn't bear thinking about. Here, clock the arse on that sort over there! I might just have a pop at that later on, if she's lucky.
WINKER : Blimey, Flash! She must be 50 years old! What the hell are you drinking?
FLASHY : I say, that's jolly decent of you. A triple brandy, don't you know.
Don't you get tired of having to explain what's going on with Queen these days? I've yet to meet anyone who has heard of Paul Rodgers, or doesn't immediately go 'Dusty Bin?' when his name is mentioned. Why did you have to snuff it, Freddie?
Look at the state of us.
I think that the fact music will all go digital on release will spoil the fun of that feeling you get when you can say " I own that album". Nothing was better than getting an album and having the cd booklet to read, not to mention before hand when you would get vinyl. But now this wont be the case as much no more, you download the album and thats it. no booklet, no flicking through the booklet as you hear the album for the first time.. it will bring new fun but at the same time it wont be as fun.
Like downloading movies, with net speeds getting quicker and quicker, there goes the joy of going to the video shop, thats tight, video shop for a dvd (or video).... just little things that will spoil the good old family fun of a young kids childhood.
That's a funny bit of dialogue you've got there, mate.
When asked about what this QPR thing's all about, I just say "Queen's got a new singer. Some guy from 70s. He's no Freddie, but he's alright in his own way."
What ticks me off endlessly is when people praise Paul over Freddie cos Freddie was gay and Paul is oh so macho. What's it got to do with music?!
Aaahh Nothing brightens my morning as much as a tail or two from Flashman... well done Sir and I particularly admire your method of obtaining a drink!
Long time no see? will we be graced with your attendance at the up coming tour?
I hope for a consice report afterwards in true Flashy form.
Hey Flashman, Brilliant sentiments, I completely know where you are coming from buddy.
I defend the lads on a regular basis & have a mate who realy pisses me off when he says "that song they did was alright, what was it called Mama !".
Beleive me when I say that I have put up with some shit over the past 20+ years.
Unfortunately we live in a disposable & plastic world of music today & you will only get an honest response from someone who understands or respects the art of good music.
Not many bands today have a great depth & variety that we get from Queen (oh and that mush from Free).
Cheers ! Jon