Stolen from Yogurt on MySpace. :P
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
IN THE EYES OF A MAN:
Naked good looking woman: Hot
Naked good looking man: Gay
Naked ugly woman: Gross
Naked ugly man: Funny
IN THE EYES OF A WOMAN:
Naked good looking woman: Slut
Naked good looking man: Hot
Naked ugly woman: Pitiful
Naked ugly man: Gross
<font color="lime">Raf840 wrote: Stolen from Yogurt on MySpace. :P
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
<font color="lime">Raf840 wrote: Stolen from Yogurt on MySpace. :P
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Mr.Jingles wrote: IN THE EYES OF A MAN:
Naked good looking woman: Hot
Naked good looking man: Gay
Naked ugly woman: Gross
Naked ugly man: Funny
IN THE EYES OF A WOMAN:
Naked good looking woman: Slut
Naked good looking man: Hot
Naked ugly woman: Pitiful
Naked ugly man: Gross
Mr.Jingles wrote:
IN THE EYES OF A WOMAN:
Naked good looking woman: Slut
Naked good looking man: Hot
Naked ugly woman: Pitiful
Naked ugly man: Gross
This stuff is too sexist. Alluvit. :P
From my own perspective, here's how it'd go:
Naked good looking woman:Thar there's gross. And slut. xD
Naked good looking man: Not quite hot. Also gross.
Naked ugly woman: Funny, but again, a bit gross.
Naked ugly man: Fucking hilarious!
:B
... But seriously, why's all that stuff got to do with guys making the money and the lady's just spending it?! Women DO make money... not by whoring or stealing it from "their man". I'm so sick of all that stereotyping shit. :/
Mr.Jingles wrote:
IN THE EYES OF A WOMAN:
Naked good looking woman: Slut
Naked good looking man: Hot
Naked ugly woman: Pitiful
Naked ugly man: Gross
Naked good looking woman:Thar there's gross. And slut. xD
Naked good looking man: Not quite hot. Also gross.
Who (or "what") are you going to fuck then? :P
... But seriously, why's all that stuff got to do with guys making the money and the lady's just spending it?! Women DO make money... not by whoring or stealing it from "their man". I'm so sick of all that stereotyping shit. :/
Chill out, it's only jokes. I acknowledge many women have much more to offer to the world than me. And I'm not talking about breastfeeding.
Mr.Jingles wrote:
IN THE EYES OF A WOMAN:
Naked good looking woman: Slut
Naked good looking man: Hot
Naked ugly woman: Pitiful
Naked ugly man: Gross
Naked good looking woman:Thar there's gross. And slut. xD
Naked good looking man: Not quite hot. Also gross.
Who (or "what") are you going to fuck then? :P
... But seriously, why's all that stuff got to do with guys making the money and the lady's just spending it?! Women DO make money... not by whoring or stealing it from "their man". I'm so sick of all that stereotyping shit. :/
Chill out, it's only jokes. I acknowledge many women have much more to offer to the world than me. And I'm not talking about breastfeeding.
It's not you, Raf. It's whoever made the jokes. :P
Mr.Jingles wrote:
IN THE EYES OF A WOMAN:
Naked good looking woman: Slut
Naked good looking man: Hot
Naked ugly woman: Pitiful
Naked ugly man: Gross
This stuff is too sexist. Alluvit. :P
From my own perspective, here's how it'd go:
Naked good looking woman:Thar there's gross. And slut. xD
Naked good looking man: Not quite hot. Also gross.
Naked ugly woman: Funny, but again, a bit gross.
Naked ugly man: Fucking hilarious!
:B
... But seriously, why's all that stuff got to do with guys making the money and the lady's just spending it?! Women DO make money... not by whoring or stealing it from "their man". I'm so sick of all that stereotyping shit. :/
That's what makes it funny!
Not by stereotyping but getting people pissed off.
Although I have to admit that most women won't find a "Naked good looking man" as "Hot".
Most women will find it embarassing and will cover their eyes, but subconsciously they are dying to take a peek.