A topic for discussion... Not mine, but it's interesting anyway...
When you break up with someone there's many times the delicate and hard subject of when it's right to start a new relationship with someone. Do you think its a matter of weeks, months or just a feeling thing? Lay out your thoughts on this.
Don't know Runy... I think it depends on luck. I mean, you need the luck to find the right person. That can be after one week... or after a year. Fact is that you're less open for new potential lovers shortly after a break up. But the right time to start a new relationship is the moment you meet the right person.
I use to go out when my feelings are all healed. But... sometimes it comes like the cheat on you.
For example: When I was going out with Kevin last year, I was talking with a friend who told me that my ex-bf was in town, with his wife, and his wife was pregnant. I remember I cried a lot 'cuz it hurted a lot. We were supposed to get married, and seeing him married with soemone else and starting his family it just hurted a lot.
<font color=#CC99FF>Marial-B wrote: ...We were supposed to get married, and seeing him married with soemone else and starting his family it just hurted a lot.
Of course it did, that's brutal. But were you hurting because you still had feelings for him or because you saw what you didn't have? I think we all go through that horrible after-pain, but I think it's more about us than about them. It's about what we could have been doing, or at what stage we'd be in our lives if only...
Going right from one relationship to another, IMO, is wrong for both you and the person you connect with. Rebound love rarely lasts and both partners wind up hurt and angry. Waiting until you can mention your ex's name or think of shared moments without stirring yourself up inside, I'd say, is the way to go.
<font color=#CC99FF>Marial-B wrote: ...We were supposed to get married, and seeing him married with soemone else and starting his family it just hurted a lot.
Of course it did, that's brutal. But were you hurting because you still had feelings for him or because you saw what you didn't have?
A bit of both I think. I thought I was really over it, but I think not and that was hard for me. I think at the end it was better 'cuz the breakup was really nasty and I think I deserved better, but still when you imagine yourself with someone for the rest of your life and almost get married to him, it's very painful to see that...
Well it looks quite inevitable that me and my girlfriend are about to break up, right now i'm not even thinking about dating anyone else.
But that doesn't mean to say that if someone i really liked entered my life, i would hold myself back just because i still have feelings for my (ex) girlfriend.
So to me it's not really a matter of time when it comes to thinking about dating someone new, it's just about the person who comes along.
Since i'm younger it may be different for me, i don't know, but that's what i think on the situation.
<font color=black>@ndy<font color=red>38 wrote: Well it looks quite inevitable that me and my girlfriend are about to break up, right now i'm not even thinking about dating anyone else.
But that doesn't mean to say that if someone i really liked entered my life, i would hold myself back just because i still have feelings for my (ex) girlfriend.
So to me it's not really a matter of time when it comes to thinking about dating someone new, it's just about the person who comes along.
Since i'm younger it may be different for me, i don't know, but that's what i think on the situation.
What happened that the break up became inevitable? Is that more your or her idea of breaking up?
Whenever you feel ready to date again...that's how much time you should give. Of course, you can't be a jerk about it and do things like rub the new girlfriend in her face...that's just rude. But whenever you are ready, go ahead. There is no set time to any relationships.