Open your briefcase/handbag and talk to imaginary people inside it.
Stand silently and motionless in the corner and never get off.
When you arrive at your floor, grunt and try to pull the doors open. Then act embarrassed when they open themselves.
Stare at another passenger, then declare loudly “You’re one of them!” Then act paranoid around them.
Say “Ding!” at each floor.
Lean against the button panel.
At your floor, wait till the lift (elevator) begins to move off, before reacting and jabbing the doors open button. Then get off.
Draw a small square on the floor with chalk and stand in it. Announce to the other passengers and anyone else who gets on that this is your personal space.
Bring along a chair and a bag of crisps (chips).
Make explosion noises whenever somebody presses a button.
Listen to the walls of the lift (elevator) with a stethoscope, saying “Hmmmm” and shaking your head.
Carry a blanket and hold it to you tightly. Refuse to discuss it.
Walk in, look around, and ask “Where are the pedals?”
N.B. It is advised that you do not do this, say, at work, in a place where you know all the people. I will not be held legally responsible for any collapsed friendships/romances/professional relationships or firings that occur. Do this in a place full of strangers such as a department store or hotel.