POSTING ON BEHALF OF TOFBRA:
Yes, everyone, I am now a firm believer: Brian is heterosexual.
That's right.
I'm sure you've all heard my rants and ravings on how Brian is queer, how gay he is, and how he's getting it on the side with Roger...
But no more.
He's not queer: he's meterosexual. He's not a trend follower, he's a trend setter. He started wearing clogs with the hope everyone else would too. Well, that didn't catch on, but the meterosexuality did.
Now again, as the first meterosexual, Brian is also the King (or is it Queen?) of the meterosexuals. He's not content to simply take on the style and flare of the gay to pick up women, no no, not our Brian. He took on the whole personality of the gay man.
From the confused lyrics of son and daughter, "tried to be a son and daughter" with uncertain gender, and all the other lyrics about uncertainity with sex, the limp wristed gestures, the refering to Liza Minelli as "The Great Liza."
From barrages of pink shirts and similarly loud outfits to the company he keeps. From the clogs to the hair, the manicures and the repeated viewings of The Wizard of Oz, Brian is clearly the mother of meterosexuality.
And I say hurrah, Brian. Now all straight men can do whatever gay activity they please and have no fear of being
called queer (for this would be a crime, of course.) Brian did all these men a favour. He founded a band called Queen, wears tank tops and is never afraid to take part in Britain's grand tradition of drag. Men everywhere should follow his example, getting perms, wearing obvious make up; for he is at ease cavorting around with the likes of Ben Elton and having the most gorgeous blond man ever following everywhere at his heels.
Again Brian, hurrah. Be not afraid to wear whatever you please or sing whatever you like, and, hell, sleep with who you choose.
After all, at Brian's level of meterosexuality, even sleeping with men is considered straight, seeing as he's
married and all.
I'm off now to write my essay: BRIAN MAY: THE FIRST METEROSEXUAL.
-A Message From TOFBRA