I just found out my ex husband has AIDS. I always thought he was bisexual feelings and brought this up with him, but he always denied it. He left me many years ago and then I found out he had a male "partner" even though he always called him "my friend". After the diagnosis I became his health care proxy, and recently I found out that his ex partner died of AIDS in May. I didn't have much contact with him for a year, so I didn't know. Now I know that when some of his gay friends found out that his ex partner had died to have himself checked, but he always avoided the conversation and never had himself checked. He never admitted to anybody that he was gay. What makes me sad and confused is as to why?, why didn't he had himself checked, why he never confide in anybody? His prognosis is complicated with the neurologic diagnosis of PML (progressive multiple leukoencephalopathy) and this has no cure. I'll take care of him together with our daughter and friends, he has no other family. I read so much about Freddie and how everybody says that they wish he would've contracted AIDS a few years later so maybe he would still be alive today. So I don't understand how someone like my ex, who was very smart, basically through away his life.
That is a very sad story and I am very sorry to hear about your situation.
I think the only person who can give you some answers is your ex husband.
Perhaps you can also seek out some professional counselling to help you through this difficult time.
Best wishes, and I hope you find some solace over time.
Thank you The Kurgan for your kind words, I'm ok.
The reason why I wrote about this is because I think my ex husband knew that his partner died of Aids. He is not a stupid man, and having such good medicine to combat Aids, I don't understand why he never got checked for it. When Freddie left Mary he told her he was gay and stayed friend, for this I think Freddie was such a great person. My ex made me think that I was a crazy woman and for that reason he left me. I suspected that he was gay, but he never, ever admitted it to me or to anybody else. Now he's been in the hospital for almost 2 months, he was diagnosed with Aids, and PML, progressive multiple leukoencephalopathy. It is an opportunistic disease caused by what is called the JC virus that the 85% of the population has in their bodies, but since his immunology was so low, the JC virus cross to the brain and caused catastrophic neurological damage. He can't talk, eat, move. I'm his health care proxy and I'm the one taking care of him now, he is my daughter's father and I still feel love for him.. There is a possibility that he can recover, as his immunology recovers, for this reason he has a gastric tube to receive nutrients. I don't want pity, I just wanted to share.
A lot of men are not good at facing and looking personal issues/situations in the eye. They may even be good at guiding and heloing others with their issues but when it comes to own, they simply have a mental block. Could be their insecurities or denial mode.
Hope you and the family, including the ex husband, are coping with the situation well.