I'm just being realistic and observing the redundant repetitive, spatially retarded conversations going on with my girlfriend and her best friend.
The conversation goes from hating metal music that isn't "cool enough" to turning into talk about how much Morrissey is good. and THEN its the same jokes. fart jokes. black jokes. Moron talk.
And although she's a good person she's also got supremely discouraging JEALOUSY issues. I'm asking the crowd here who's "been through that shit" .... how significant is it to be cool with the friends?
I don't want to break the relationship just because her best friend is an inept troll (looks like a troll) trolling moron. it's very discouraging but she's got a job that deals in the same business we all create things with (clothing etc) but it's crazy.
She's a creative person. I'm a creative person. I live with it and I've even lived through her leaving a gig (Nuno Bettencourt/club show 3 weeks ago) because she thought I was hitting on older women cause I was ordering a drink.
in spite of that damage from her past relationships, I wonder what's the point in carrying it on, sometimes. She's encouraging, beautiful and creatively loving when she's good, but detestably MORONIC with her friends. .. has anybody here worked a happy medium?
At the first bit she detests people that lie lure scheme and cheat.... but her best bud is the prime example of this Scumbag living life.
Hee even scribes himself to be a loser without any reason. But he sleeps around and she still has him in her field of admiration.
is this enough to just cut out and not care?
Not everybody is a cheap freak. She's said she hates this kind of person but it's like i try harder and harder to be a stronger relationship with her in spite of this crazy friendship.
ditch or leave or let it crumble or go for the arrogant "no more douchebag friends" selfish gambit?
What has worked?
is anybody here actually happily married/content within relationship on Qz?
^ If you consider that his girlfriend should not have any friend, then it's no problem. If she can have any friend she wants, then it's a problem, since (with this case) she's contradicting herself, and has bad friendships, which could influence negatively in their relationship.
Or maybe there's something that I ignore about relationships with 35 years old individuals.
Talk to her, see what (if anything) she's willing to concede and what (if anything) you've got to take as part of the package deal.
IMO, there's no such thing as an 'unconditional' relationship. Granted, some relationships are more lenient than others but there's always an irreducible minimum. What is yours? What is hers? Soon as you both find out, you'll know what to do and, hopefully, you'll decide together.
matt z wrote:
she thought I was hitting on older women cause I was ordering a drink.
This is the biggest issue right there - her own insecurities, probably from past relationships.
If she doesn't trust you despite you reassuring her that you were just buying a drink, then it's not going to work.
All else is noise.
Because without a foundation of trust, the relationship has no depth whatsoever. It's just two people having fun and having sex now and again (or maybe a lot?). And no amount of sex can make up for the fact that there's no trust.
I'm not suggesting that you do this but if you lock her and her friend in a dark room and tell them only one will come out alive, well that is a great way to get her to focus on her relationship priorities. Again, I'm not suggesting that you do this. But if you were to do it, soon rather than later is my suggestion. But, you know, don't do it.
Haha I deliberately avoided the responses and checking here because after committing it to writing, it's obviously a problem.
Hmm. for the first question, yes about 30 years old. It was a legitimate question but it seems more likely I'll see how things go and eventually it'll fizz out most likely.
It's not purely physical (*on my end) but she HAS suggested much of my looks to a certain degree (I think I'm about average) anyways. Thanks for the opinions and viewpoints.
I'm pretty certain she won't ditch the old pal and he's recently gone to great efforts to artificially be nice to me.
The lingering issues are the trust and abandonment things. Ah well. Compromise until something insane happens (*again)
I was expecting some ideas on compromise and how it had possibly worked in someone else's life when it comes to dealing with the asshole best friend. :-/