| rhyeking 23.03.2010 01:36 |
Fans realize something Queen does not, that a robust 40 year-old billion-dollar band, while seemingly healthy, is in actuality as fragile as two bricks tied together with tissue paper. One mistake, one bad mis-step will cause the entire thing to shatter and fall apart; and Queen would be ruined forever. Fortunately, there is hope. The Queen fanbase has resolved to remain ever vigilant against something that could Ruin Queen Forever, and call out a warning if they see something that could potentially do so. Some Queen conservationists suggest a more extreme approach, that Queen should abandon all attempts at re-invention and instead cater exclusively to the old-school fans. Though attractive, this approach may prove impractical as a long-term solution. Ruined Forever remains a serious threat to Queen now and in the foreseeable future, though it's possible a proposed initiative requiring fans to purchase occassional re-issues could ensure our fragile brand's existence through the mid-21st century. Things that have Ruined Queen in the past: - Synthesizers (except on songs we like) - the Hot Space album (except for Under Pressure) - Freddie's moustache - the 1980s - Queen+ projects that don't have the names "David" or "Bowie" attached to them - the many US Best-Of type collections - We Will Rock You: The Musical - Paul Rodgers - American Idol (Sell outs!) - Canadian Idol (Sell outs, eh!) - Hollywood Records' 1991 remixes (except for Brian Maloufs) - Fairy songs on the first three albums (for some fans) - The lack of Fairy songs after the first three albums (for the other fans) - New fans ('kids today, I tell ya!') - Viagra commercials - Wayne's World ("I was headbanging in my car before it was cool!") Rest assured, however, that the True Fans will oppose anything produced which undermines Queen's legacy. A True Fan is somebody who agrees completely and rigidly with the viewpoint of the person using the term. Examples: "My point of view is the correct one, and if you disagree with me you're not a true fan, and thus not worthy of my time." "Anyone who likes The Works isn't a true fan." "Anyone who doesn't like The March Of The Black Queen isn't a true fan." "Anyone who thinks The Cosmos Rocks is awesome isn't a true fan." Needless to say, these sorts of people rather annoy most other fans, who regard them as far more likely to ruin it for everyone else than anything Queen is ever likely to do. (The preceding was altered, nearly word for word, from two articles which appear on The Transformers Wiki, and is presented as satire, with the goals of taking the piss out of some people and making the rest of us laugh) |
| Sebastian 23.03.2010 03:01 |
Based on tvtropes, I think we could classify the Queen fandumb this way: * Monomaniac: Everything not released by Queen is utter crap. All the bassists in the world combined can't hold a candle to John, the Sweet Lady lyrics are better than Shakespeare, etc. ¨* Purists: If it's got synths it's crap, full stop. Also, if it was produced after 31st December 1979. * Elitists: Only those who love 'Queen II' are true fans, and the others are either too stupid to understand it or too ignorant to know about it. It also helps if the favourite song is an obscure track (forget Bo Rhap and Somebody to Love, Queen peaked with Feelings Feeling). * Toxic Geniuses: Only songs with guitar choirs and loads of vocals are good. The others are too mediocre. * Toxic Missionaries: Everybody who doesn't like Queen has to be converted, whether they want to or not. * Strawstuffers: Paul Rodgers, or Mack, or somebody else, is the one and only cause of all bad things happening to Queen. * King (or Queen) Customers: They've spent enough money on Queen products to buy a mansion. And they think that gives them the right to rule other those who haven't. * Methuselah's: Saw Queen live in the 70's and consider those who didn't are mere trolls. * Misplaced Champions: Ready to kill, beat up or (in most cases) cowardly cyber-stalk anybody who differs with their opinion or have a slightest criticism towards their idols. 'Did s/he imply there are better songs than Cool Cat? S/he must die!!!!' * Willfully Blind: 'How can you say Roger doesn't sing or play now at the same level he did in the 70's?' * Easily Impressed: 'OMG, Brian can tie his own shoes. Please fuck me Dr May!!!!' * Insane Avatars: They think they're the reincarnation of Lord Teeth. PS: Most Queen fans I know don't belong to any of those groups since they're neither narrow-minded nor imbecile. But the varieties above do exist and do visit QZ and other communities. |
| greataddict 23.03.2010 06:48 |
Hi there! hilarious! I recognized parts of myself at some points... cheers! fun, and humour will save us from flame wars, about PR, or those boring fights about TM... |
| lalaalalaa 23.03.2010 07:57 |
I liked Hot Space, the 80s, and Q+PR. So you are kind of an idiot when you say they ruined Queen. I really don't care if they appear on TV shows. They can do what they want. They can collaborate with whomever they want. This is a fun topic ;) |
| pittrek 23.03.2010 08:00 |
So I am a combination of a purist and a toxic genius ? |
| Wilki Amieva 23.03.2010 08:56 |
LOL! |
| rhyeking 23.03.2010 10:25 |
lalaalalaa wrote: I liked Hot Space, the 80s, and Q+PR. So you are kind of an idiot when you say they ruined Queen. I really don't care if they appear on TV shows. They can do what they want. They can collaborate with whomever they want. This is a fun topic ;) I'm satirizing those people who go on and on about how event "X" or person "Y" have "Ruined Queen Forever." Personally, I think Queen, in whichever incarnation, are talented, still working hard, and are producing good music. I'm also certain that for every "True Fan" out there, there are many more who want Brian and Roger to keep going. Lastly, I think humour is a better approach than flame wars. If you see aspects of yourself in the above posts by Seb and myself, it doesn't mean you're a bad person or wrong about your views, we're simply challenging them in a subtle way. |
| marcenciels 23.03.2010 20:02 |
héhéhé...this post is great ;) humour is a good thing ! the essense of surviving in plump modern playgrounds people in general complain about ...héhéhé... |
| Crazy LittleThing 23.03.2010 23:01 |
I'm still laughing at "Methuselahs". :) |
| rhyeking 24.03.2010 02:57 |
Crazy LittleThing wrote: I'm still laughing at "Methuselahs". :) Same here. Thanks, Seb, for expanding on my entry. |
| lalaalalaa 24.03.2010 07:43 |
Crazy LittleThing wrote: I'm still laughing at "Methuselahs". :) In the Queen community it is more known as the "Mustaphas" |
| Sebastian 24.03.2010 11:16 |
lalaalalaa wrote:Crazy LittleThing wrote: I'm still laughing at "Methuselahs". :)In the Queen community it is more known as the "Mustaphas" Standing ovation! |
| Brian_Mays_Wig 25.03.2010 06:14 |
Bastard.................... Now I'm wishing I had brought that mansion. |
| ILoveQueen20 25.03.2010 07:14 |
'Things that have Ruined Queen in the past: - Synthesizers (except on songs we like) - the Hot Space album (except for Under Pressure) - Freddie's moustache - the 1980s - Queen+ projects that don't have the names "David" or "Bowie" attached to them - the many US Best-Of type collections - We Will Rock You: The Musical - Paul Rodgers - American Idol (Sell outs!) - Canadian Idol (Sell outs, eh!) - Hollywood Records' 1991 remixes (except for Brian Maloufs) - Fairy songs on the first three albums (for some fans) - The lack of Fairy songs after the first three albums (for the other fans) - New fans ('kids today, I tell ya!') - Viagra commercials - Wayne's World ("I was headbanging in my car before it was cool!")' Hahaha Freddies Moustache- it may come & get you with a vengeance...after it sees that... We Will Rock You:The Musical- But I love it so much! :-S New fans are good-except when those beepers spell Queen like 'queen' or Freddie like 'freddy' or hate 'A Night at the Opera ect.... ' I mean seriously.... I agree with all your other points though...but you need to add one 'The XFactor'...(Oh the pure HORROR...my eyes, my ears they burn....!) |
| rhyeking 02.04.2010 22:31 |
Fan Wank The other reason you should use protection when reading Queen-related forums. Many of the fan theories which make their way into forums seek to "fix" something the fan believes to be wrong with the band. The fans usually put a lot more thought into this than Queen ever did (though Queen Productions has gotten a lot more attentive in recent years, primarily because of the growth of this kind of forum activity). They often come up with answers to questions that either make not a whit of difference in the end, or are more fun without an answer than with. Naturally, these theories often venture way out into fantasyland. When the theory makes you say, "Oh come on!", the author has stepped over the line into Fan Wank. The etymology of 'wank' shows that it means 'indulgence', particularly any kind of major self-indulgence. Not surprisingly, this leads to it being British slang for masturbation, though it's mostly just their own egos that such writers are stroking. (Liberally paraphrased from TV Tropes, because I only steal from the best!) |
| GratefulFan 02.04.2010 23:00 |
Fiddle on Neros, fiddle on. :p |