XD
Some definite highlights in that article! Quite instructive, too.
Personal favorites:
"Your best bet is to stay on your feet and use striking techniques. Karate is one good choice - it was originally designed in the 1600s for use by unarmed Japanese day care workers."
"The ideal situation is fighting children who are trapped in a ditch below you."
"When taunting, remember that children are almost comically stupid, and won?t understand any of your more creative taunts. You won?t intimidate anyone if you have to explain three times specifically what you did to their mother last night."