Seems to me that we both live within a hundred or so mile radius from each other - but that our Highland slang is far more course than your civilised central belt colloquialisms. Truely a case of one nation divided by a common language.
Here are some of our worst - but I don't think they are used where you come from.
Toilet functions:
A lillian (from Lillian Gish - a silent screen actress)
As in: An old firm game.
A Turkish (from Turkish Delight)
As in: State of English football.
Female body parts:
Thrup'pennies (from thrup'penny bits)
As in: Gets on my...
Lon Channey (from US warewolf actor)
As in: You could see right up her...
Billy Blunt (from old 'Milly Molly Mandy' - comic by Joyce Lankester Brisley)
As in: A Traffic Warden
The Gary (from Gary Glitter)
As in: Anal gartification (She takes it right up the Gary...)
Fleetwood: (From Fleetwood Mac)
As in: She's talking out of her...
Male body parts:
The Henry's (From Henry Hall(s) ex-St. Johnstone top goal scorer)
As in: Thon Ronaldo is asking for a quick kick in the Henry's...
Sexual positions:
The Nat King (From Nat King Cole)
As in: The lucky b*st*rd's off to get his Nat King...
A Ham shank (from a cut from a pig's leg)
As in: David Beckham's a proper...
I can't think of any others at the moment. What sort of terms do you use down your end?
I recognise most of the terms you use but for the life of me I cant work out what a Fleetwood Mac is.
As for toilet functions we might say "I'm going for a single fish."
If it's number 2s we say "I'm going for a walk in the lobby" which is rhyming slang for jobbie. More often than not we say "I'm going for a Jake." This is rhyming slang for a shit- Jake Britt + shit. Mind you, this sin't exactly a Scottish term as most countries of the world have adopted it now.
We don't have any rhyming slang for breasts. We just call them paps, diddies or sookers. Rhyming slang for a ladies front bottom in Edinburgh is the 'Shareen' taken from the Scottish news reader Shareen Nanjani.
Male reproductive organs are given slang names according to size. Dokey, being the smallest, to wallopers which are huge.
We wouldn't use Henry Halls for balls because of the way we pronounce it. We call them baws so in rhyming slang we use the term 'haw-maws'
I think Nat King Cole is a common expression throughout the whole of Scotland.
I take it your more familiar with Doric than I am. I used to work with a guy from Elgin and there were times I couldn't understand a word he said.
I'm from Leith in Edinburgh which is famous for Trainspotting (the book & film, not the hobby) The Proclaimers and stealing the Royal Yacht Brittania. Where are you from?
fatty.
Fleetwood Mac = crack.
I don't get 'Shareen' though.
Hee-haww = b*gger awe (as in nothing).
Yes, more Doric up this end - about one hour north of Elgin.
Funniest line in ages was when Puff Daddy went all Puff Diddy!
Ah I see - we get 'North Tonight' while you get 'Scotland Today' (or something similar). That's why (if you excuse the thought) I can't put a face to her.
Now, with you being a High-Bee's man - and me a Dandy's man (Dandy's as in Dandy-Dons - not that Dundee DC Thompson cr*p) is it any wonder that we have difficulties communicating?