| deleted user 19.03.2004 19:48 |
When I was at work today, I got the idea to post some funny conversations I have with the kids that I take care of at the daycare. I know there are at least a few ladies out there who may find these conversations as funny as I did! Here are a few: There's a girl named Mariah - she has blonde hair, blue eyes and she wears cute little glasses. I've got quite a soft spot for her, as she is one of the kids that prefers being by my side for the whole time that I am there. Anyway, a few days ago she was sitting on my lap and our conversation went as follows: Mariah: is that car outside yours? Me: Nooo..that's my parents' car Mariah: Will you buy your own car? Me: Hmmm, maybe...what color should it be? Mariah: I don't know.. Me: What about pink or purple? Mariah: yeah! Me: Will you help me pick it out? We could make a day of it, want to?! Mariah: yes! and then we could go shopping...and you could buy me some Barbie clothes! Me: Okay! We'll go shopping together in our pink and purple car. But we should go out to lunch, too. Should we go to McDonalds and get two Happy Meals? Mariah: yes, I want to! Another conversation that took place between me and a 5 year old named Cole: Cole: But I want to go outside! It's sunny out, Manda...plllleeeeeaaaassseee! Me: Cole, we just came inside and now I need to do the chores. Cole: But Trisha always lets us go outside! Me: Cole, I said no. Cole: You're mean! I'm never coming back here! Various other kid: Yeah, right, Cole - you'll be back tomorrow! Mariah: My mom wears a bra (pronounced "bwa"). Me: I bet. Mariah: She has lots of them. Me: Mm-hmm. Mariah: Do you? Me: Mariah, that is not a polite question to ask. Cole: Yeah, she does, Mariah. Me: Cole!! One more (can't resist!): McKenzie: Why can't I look at the magazine! Me: Because you just hit Sofie, because she wanted to look at it, too. McKenzie: Well, I had it first! Me: *ignores* McKenzie: I said I want to see it! Let me look at it! Me: *ignores* McKenzie: Well, since you're being mean, I'm not letting you come to my house when I grow up! Sopie: You can come to my house, Manda! Me: Oooh, thanks, Soph! Okay...I'll stop for now...! |
| freddies_chicka 19.03.2004 20:23 |
lmao! that is so funny. i love to babysit. sometimes, they are too full of energy, to where when you see them your tired! lol. but nonetheless i love to babtsit, and i get good money, but its so worth it. |
| Janet 19.03.2004 20:26 |
Thats adorable Alli! Little kids are SO much fun! |
| Sir Archie 'Tiffany' Leach 19.03.2004 21:52 |
That young whippersnapper Cole sounds like a young Flashman. May the Lord have mercy on our souls. |
| deleted user 19.03.2004 22:07 |
Thanks Alli. That was wonderful! We were laughing our heads off! Priceless :) |
| CatGurl14 19.03.2004 22:44 |
:D Alli, those conversations are awesome. I love kids. Those convos remind me of the stuff kids at the library I help out with stuff at say. great stuff, I miss that innocence but great knowledge I had back then. |
| Matti 20.03.2004 00:41 |
"and you could buy me some Barbie clothes!" Lol. |
| deleted user 20.03.2004 01:22 |
lmao aw that's so cute |
| Daburcor? 20.03.2004 01:23 |
As always Manda, I love hearing about your adventures with the kiddlings! Thanks for posting these! You should put up some more, They're great fun! I think you told me that last one last weekend... Yeah... Yeah, you did! Anyway, this was quite a refreshing topic! I'm sure as long as you're working with children, You'll never run out of stuff like this! And I for one will look forward to hearing them! :D |
| Mayboy 20.03.2004 08:38 |
LOL! awww cute :) |
| deleted user 20.03.2004 10:01 |
Glad that you all enjoyed them! I was thinking of posting some more, so if you all would like to read them, I'll put some more up that I can remember. :^) |
| Demeter 20.03.2004 11:11 |
"Me: Cole, we just came inside and now I need to do the chores. Cole: But Trisha always lets us go outside!" This "somebody always let's us do things" -thing is so popular among my pupils (14-15 yrs) as well, so it's not just a kiddie thing. Always as hilarious, though. For example: A pupil: Can't we end the lesson earlier today? Me: No, we cannot, we've got plenty of important things to go through A pupil: But you ALWAYS let us end earlier on Fridays! Me: *Ignores* (since it has only happened twice during the whole year...) |
| geeksandgeeks 20.03.2004 11:27 |
Here's a treasure of mine... Talking to a fellow musical cast member's little brother, Kevin. I think he's four. (Background info: Musical version of the Ugly Duckling. This kid's older brother is Ugly. I'm the gorgeous duck who disses him. This is right after act one, during intermission.) Kevin: How come you were mean to my brother? Mandy: That was just the script, I wasn't actually being mean to him. Kevin: You said he was ugly. Mandy: I Was supposed to. Kevin: Why? Mandy: Because it was in the script. Kevin: What's a script? I can't wait till he gets to mid school... |
| Queenleaf 20.03.2004 11:40 |
oh that's sooo cute!!!!!! I love it!!! YOu should post more!!! lmao@Sir Archie Leach! |
| Black-Rose 20.03.2004 13:27 |
Here's a classic conversation I had one day with my 8 year old: Daughter: It's a shame you and Dad don't have sex anymore. Me: Why do you say that? Daughter: Because no babies have come. Me: Well I take tablets to stop the babies coming. Daughter: That's not how it works. Me: Is it not? How does it work then? Daughter: Daddy puts plastic on his willy, thats how it works. Unable to find a decent answer I just fell about laughing. |
| Daburcor? 20.03.2004 14:45 |
"Glad that you all enjoyed them! I was thinking of posting some more, so if you all would like to read them, I'll put some more up that I can remember. :^)" You soooooo need too! :D |
| deleted user 20.03.2004 15:47 |
Here are a few more that was able to remember: Cole: my mom's going to have a baby and I'm going to be a brother again. Me: Oh, really? that's exciting! Mariah (Mariah and Cole are brother and sister): yeah, and I'm going to be a sister! Me: ooh! fun! Cole: yeah, my mom got re-pregnant! This next one I just observed as Mariah and Sophie began to argue with one another about who gets to hold the dust pan for me (I told them neither, but they argued anyway...) Sophie: *pouts, then turns away from Mariah* Mariah: *pouts, then turns away from Sophie...then walks over in front of Sophie, but still has arms crossed and lip pouted* Sophie: *stands quietly* Mariah: Boo! Sophie: *giggles* Mariah: Boo! Sophie: Boo! Mariah: Boo! *giggles* Sophie: hey look Mariah (pronounced "Mawiah"), we're friends (pronounced "fwiends") again! Mariah: yaaaaay! Cole: Are you married? Me: No. Cole: do you have a boyfriend? Me: *silence* Cole: Huuuuuuh? do you have a boyfriend?? Me: no...err..yes...err, don't ask me these questions! Cole: Where does he live? Me: *silence* Cole: What's his name? Me: *silence* Cole: How old is he? Me: Cole... Cole: Are you going to marry him? Okay, just one more! Cole: *runs to the window*...MANDA! Somebody is outside in a red car!! Me: *in the bathroom changing a diaper*...Cole, I see the car, I think it's just my brother. Cole: No! Manda, come here! He's getting in your car! Hurry! Me: Cole, it's just my brother - it's okay. Cole: No, it's not! He got something out of your car and now he's leaving! Hurry up! Me: *sigh* |
| Dances With Freddie 20.03.2004 15:52 |
cute :) :) |
| Daburcor? 20.03.2004 15:53 |
LOL!!! "my mom got re-pregnant!" LMAO! Hoooo... Kids... I tell ya... That last one was great too. ;p |
| Little_Queenie 20.03.2004 15:56 |
Lol, aawwwww, sweet:)) They are such a laugh:)) Please please please put some more:) |
| CatGurl14 20.03.2004 16:00 |
awww lol! Those are unbelievably great. :D I love the re-pregnant one and the one about "the strange man getting into your car" |
| MexQueenFM 20.03.2004 16:49 |
kids, always great for laughs, great posts miss j |
| nil 21.03.2004 13:01 |
lol, can't wait till i get me own! Thats very cute |
| Taylor-Mayed 21.03.2004 13:54 |
Children... I don't know how people can stand them, frankly. |
| Catgoddess 21.03.2004 13:55 |
Nice roasted. |
| Taylor-Mayed 21.03.2004 13:59 |
Ba-dum tsch |
| deleted user 21.03.2004 14:04 |
"Children... I don't know how people can stand them, frankly." - Oh, how predictable. ;^) |
| nil 21.03.2004 14:07 |
The thing that does anoy me is.... "Why why why why why why why why?" ..."But why" Grrrr becase it just is, there still sweet! |
| Catgoddess 21.03.2004 14:15 |
Ty TM :o) |
| Taylor-Mayed 21.03.2004 14:48 |
I like to be predictable. Don't want to go shocking people without good cause. |
| -fatty- 2850 21.03.2004 14:49 |
I was taking my 4 year old daughter, Leigh to nursery one day when she looked up at the sky and said 'Daddy, what are those white fluffy things in the sky?' 'Those are clouds sweetheart,' I replied. 'What are they made of?' 'They're made of water my wee angel' 'How do they get up there?' 'Well the sun dries up the rain and it turns into steam and floats up into the sky.' 'And do they stay up there Daddy?' 'No darling, they eventually turn back into water and fall back to earth.' 'Then what happens?' 'Then the whole thing starts all over again.' 'But Daddy what happens whe....' ' Oh why don't you fuck off and bug your mum for a change you annoying little shite. Jesus christ, is it any wonder I'm going bald!' Kids eh? fatty. |
| Taylor-Mayed 21.03.2004 14:53 |
Named after our very own Eggy, perchance? ;-) |
| nil 21.03.2004 14:53 |
LOL, FATTY! |
| FriedChicken 21.03.2004 17:17 |
"Cole: But I want to go outside! It's sunny out, Manda...plllleeeeeaaaassseee! Me: Cole, we just came inside and now I need to do the chores. Cole: But Trisha always lets us go outside! Me: Cole, I said no. Cole: You're mean! I'm never coming back here! Various other kid: Yeah, right, Cole - you'll be back tomorrow!" LOL! :-) |
| deleted user 21.03.2004 18:23 |
I have a few more convos that I will put up, but they will be the last until I have some more - I can only remember so much! Cole: Let me take out the trash today. Me: Not today. It is too cold out for me to let you take the trash out, Cole. Cole: But I just got my coat on, so I could take it out! Please, Manda...this is my special job. Me: Cole, I said you can't, so you may as well go and play now. Cole: I'm mad at you! *cough* Me: What was that! Did you just cough?? Oh, now I'm REALLY not letting you go out. Cole: No, I didn't cough! I didn't! Me: *laughs* Mm-hmmmmm..don't try telling me tales, boy. (notice yet that Cole is almost always complaining? I wish I were exaggerating his conversations - LOL) Krista: Hey! Hat and cat rhyme, don't they?! Me: yes, they do - good job! Krista: *thinks a moment*...hey, James and James rhyme, don't they?! Me: hmmmmm...no..how about we try James and games? Krista: *thinks*...yeah! that one rhymes too! Me: *tries putting up a gate, so the door can be open, without the kids going outside...but is getting frustrated, because she doesn't know how to make it stay locked* Cole: Okay, now you push this thing down...yeah, do that. No! you're doing it wrong! Me: Well, Cole, I don't know how to put it up, cos I've never done it. Cole: Now what are you doing? Me: what are you doing! *laughs* you said this is how you're supposed to do it. *tries again* Mariah: *claps* go, Manda, go! Me: *looks and laughs at Mariah, as she doesn't know why she is cheering* Mariah: *grins at Manda* |
| Queenleaf 22.03.2004 11:41 |
lol @ "re-pregnant" & fatty! |
| Daburcor? 22.03.2004 11:46 |
LOL! Great stuff Manda! :D That little Cole... :p |
| Bob The Shrek 22.03.2004 13:19 |
At my flat when I was looking after my nephew one evening: Stephen: Uncle Bob, can I use your computer? Me: How would you like 8 broken fingers? Stephen: What's on tv tonight? |
| Daburcor? 22.03.2004 14:00 |
LOL! Funny Bob! :D |
| deleted user 22.03.2004 14:29 |
That's about as funny as the playstation story, Bob. ;^D |
| Bob The Shrek 22.03.2004 17:27 |
I overheard Stephen's sister telling him that he was in trouble at school for winding up the older lads and that he could expect a thumping the following day. I told Kerry to tell her school friends that if Stephen got a thump then I would be down the school and I would belt every single kid until I got the right one. She informed me that the teachers would never let me get away with it - I informed her that I would hit them too for allowing older boys to pick on him, especially as he was a lot smaller than everyone else (he has sprouted up since then). Finally she said 'What if it was me?' - I replied 'I would hit you the fucking hardest because you should know better!' I love being an Uncle :-D |
| geeksandgeeks 23.03.2004 19:29 |
Oh, Paul... I'm not that intolerable...am I? Don't answer that. |
| deleted user 02.04.2004 20:27 |
Thought you all may find this humorous.... Cole: Can I mop? Me: No. Cole: Aw! No fair. Why can't I? Me: Because I am the only one who does the chores - not you kids. Cole: *walks away and mumbles "jerk" under his breath* Me: What was that?! Cole: I said "TREE!" Me: You said "tree"? Cole: Yes! Me: Why would you say tree? I heard what you said, you called me a jerk. Cole: Did not! Me: Cole, I heard you. Cole: You're mean! Me: Yeah, I am. In fact, I'm mean enough to write a note to Trisha about your bad attitude. |
| Daburcor? 02.04.2004 21:15 |
<< That was my favorite part! LMAO! Great! Keep em' coming! |
| Queenleaf 04.04.2004 09:54 |
You know my mom tells me that whe nI was 3 I was sitting at the table with this neighbor boy and we kept saying "That thing" like we thought it was the funniest thing ever and she has no idea what we were talking about.......hmmm......weell I know I was just 3 but I also know what I would be talknig about if that was now....... sorry I just couldn't resist adding that.... nice forum change by the way! |
| rhapsody__87 04.04.2004 11:04 |
I know I'm coming late to this thread, but these are some incredibly hilarious conversations! I love little kids-- they just say whatever's on their mind and they're so honest! Once, I was babysitting these two adorable girls, Sydney and Payton, and I was reading them a story. There was a horse on the page and I had to make a horse sound, so I did. Sydney: That was really creepy, Erica. I could NOT stop laughing! |
| deleted user 29.08.2004 17:42 |
One of Manda's Kids: There's a guy by your car. Manda: No there's not. Same Kid: He's putting something on your car! LOOK! Manda: No there's not. Kid: He's uh... He's right there! Manda: Oh fine, *goes to look and sees nothing* see, I told you. Kid: *Confused Look* Then she found out when she left that there was a guy at the car(ME!) and I put flowers on the car. She felt bad for saying the kid was a liar... LOL! |
| deleted user 29.08.2004 17:57 |
LOL!!! Poor little Sophie...I did think she was lying. But then again, it wasn't normal for a guy to be putting flowers on the hood of my car! :^) |
| deleted user 29.08.2004 20:05 |
Below is a compilation of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th through 12th grades. 1) Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2) The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?" 3) Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. 4) Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. 5) The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. 6) Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. 7) Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. 8) In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. 9) Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. 10) Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." 11) Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them. 12) Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. 13) Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense. 14) In mid-evil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. 15) Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head. 16) Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah." 17) It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper. 18) The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. 19) Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 20) During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this. |
| the oppositionist 30.08.2004 16:17 |
Well since i work with children in my place (a family theme pub) sadly ive been put off them for life. You do get the occasional baby whos cute, but the rest... child: i want a balloon me: what colour child:red me: theres no red ones today, sorry child: BUT I WANT ONE! Parents says nothing about child screaming I have to go search for red ones. Child: i want three like hes got then you hear... child: i want ice cream mummie mum: ok, but only after your chips child: (cries and screams) I WANT IT NOOOW! mum: eat another chip child: NOOOOOO! parent ignores and allows child to misbehave time for the child to go... parent: time to go home now, you can have some sweeties at home child: (throws tantrum screaming so loudly that other customers exchange horrified glances) parent: (picks child up, sometimes by crazy angle and carries it out kicking and screaming until it turns red) Sometimes you get some with manners, but sadly id say only one in five knows how to say please and thankyou, and worse, neither do the parents. But boy do they know how to complain! |