| dragon-fly 08.09.2009 10:48 |
The subject of this topic is some old-fashioned questions. Once they were relevant. Then the people claimed- it is not anymore, referring to the freedom. The democracy in everything. But even so, they(questions) seem to be present anyway. When you look for your "second half", do you pay attention to these things? Or, if you're married- did you think about this while choosing your partner? Do you think that are the old dogmas? Do you think all that things are important? How will you answer on the questions below? Do you think it's BAD if your girlfriend/boyfriend: 1- smokes 2- drinks alcohol 3- swears 4- fat 5- skinny 6- can't dance 7- messy 8- poor 9- religious 10- a) shorter then you (man); b) taller than you (woman) 11- a) younger then you (man); b) older then you (woman) 12- a) doesn't have muscles (man); b) doesn't have big shapes (woman) 13- a) has long hair (man); b) has short hair (woman) 14- a) wears a lot of jewellery (man); b) wears mostly pants (woman) 15- a) bad at mechanics (man); b) can't cook (woman) Pay attention- it's not about whether you match this, it's about if you like/dislike this in other people:) P.S. My little exploration of people's opinions about some battered questions prompted by an article, which supposed to show the place of stereotypes nowadays. Take it easy:) |
| Marcelo_argentina 08.09.2009 11:26 |
I 'd like to give my opinion here..if I am allowed...Fisrt of all..Referring to freedon democracy is NOT everything...Anarchy IS...at least from a conceptual point of view..I mean, in the name of "democracy" people kills...and also in the name of anarchy people Killed..so, is a consciousness problem, is it?....then..about your topic and questions...I think that getting involved in a real relationship, with a girlfriend wich sooner or later you wish she become a wife, those tips you wrote are not importan at all, at all!..I mean, you do not get involved with somebody if the person is fat or skynny...but you do it couse you feel better as a human, as person, you have a real relationship no matter the money or religion, couse you are in love..then when the relation grows you can consider some "material and superficial stuff"..now, I think that class habitus and subjective habitus is absolutely important deep inside...so you will care, eventough you don't realize, about feeling "fine and happy" from the bourgeois point of view...I am explaining myself?...No matter how much in love you are, couse real "love" comes after feeling in love, that freaking drug you feel when you are close to your woman...so to be clear, Important in love is being honest with yoursefl and the person is sharing life with you, no fat, no skynny, no smoke, no nothing at all is important if you are not honest...tha's another point to have in mind... |
| Yara 09.09.2009 01:30 |
dragon-fly wrote: The subject of this topic is some old-fashioned questions. Once they were relevant. Then the people claimed- it is not anymore, referring to the freedom. The democracy in everything. But even so, they(questions) seem to be present anyway. When you look for your "second half", do you pay attention to these things? Or, if you're married- did you think about this while choosing your partner? Do you think that are the old dogmas? Do you think all that things are important? How will you answer on the questions below? Do you think it's BAD if your girlfriend/boyfriend: 1- smokes 2- drinks alcohol 3- swears 4- fat 5- skinny 6- can't dance 7- messy 8- poor 9- religious 10- a) shorter then you (man); b) taller than you (woman) 11- a) younger then you (man); b) older then you (woman) 12- a) doesn't have muscles (man); b) doesn't have big shapes (woman) 13- a) has long hair (man); b) has short hair (woman) 14- a) wears a lot of jewellery (man); b) wears mostly pants (woman) 15- a) bad at mechanics (man); b) can't cook (woman) Pay attention- it's not about whether you match this, it's about if you like/dislike this in other people:) P.S. My little exploration of people's opinions about some battered questions prompted by an article, which supposed to show the place of stereotypes nowadays. Take it easy:) Oh. Interesting. These issues are still relevant, I guess. Equality under the law, which is part of what democracy stands or should stand for, doesn’t mean we should destroy our individualities and accept just about everything. People are different and so are our feelings towards them. :op That said, let me see how prejudiced I am. ; ') 1 - Yes, very bad! It’s like eating coal or licking a burning tire with the eyes closed. 2 - Yes, quite bad. Someone has to remain in control of things - I leave this prerogative to men. My role is drinking and being taken home. And not knowing anything which occurred at night. 3 - Yes. I don’t do it myself and don’t like men doing it either - I find it gross and disgusting, unless it happens during one of those nights above and I’m not in the condition of passing judgments. :op 4 - Yes. I mean, a bit of exercise and restraint won’t do any harm. 5 - No. Skinny is fine. Fat is not. The best of all worlds is a compromise between both... : -)) 6 - YES! Ground for divorce. 7 - No. I have to be useful! 8 - No. The guy can’t smoke, drink, swear, eat and has to make money? Once he gets rich, he’ll kick me out. I take care of the livelihood to remain in POSSESSION of the boyfriend. My concept of relationship is very democratic, as you can see. ; -))) 9 - No. Provided he can live with the idea that his girlfriend reads and writes - and speaks... - things from right to left. 10 - No. He can be shorter. I can’t be too demanding here because otherwise I run out of options - I’m already too tall for my own sake. 11 - YES! No damn way he’s going to keep remembering me of my age. I dread the thought of being called his aunt or mother one day too. 12 - No. But that compromise (see fat/thin above) has to be reached. 13 - Yes. Very bad. 14 - Yes. Appalling. 15 - YES. Men have to fix things. It’s one of my few erotic fantasies. There you go. : -)) |
| dragon-fly 09.09.2009 06:14 |
Marcelo- you can write whatever you want. That's the whole point in having your own opinion. Yara- your post is a joy to read, as always! Here is a brave girl! |
| FriedChicken 11.09.2009 07:35 |
This topic is so sexist! |
| dragon-fly 11.09.2009 08:01 |
FriedChicken wrote: This topic is so sexist! So give your opinion. Explain what you think. |
| Yara 11.09.2009 11:38 |
In fact it’s not. Societies, most of them, are way more sexist than this thread - the thread deals with some harmless amusing residues of what used to be, and in some places still are, just part of sexist-structured relationships. "Cooking" is hardly a problem if we are to discuss sexism seriously. I love cooking. I live alone, I earn my own living and I have to cook. I like cooking for me and for others. Some men like their wives to cook and if the woman does it because she enjoys it, I see no problem. If the woman is FORCED into a situation where she has to perform duties instead of doing things she likes for the person she’s chosen to be with, then all these activities - cooking among them - start to take a rather grim aspect. It°d be foolish to say that we don’t cherish our own images of masculinity and femininity, however peculiar to ourselves or our culture they might be. And we tend to judge people according to standards that most of the time are stereotypes of our own making - some of them even overly "positive". I still haven’t met anyone who doesn’t. One could say the last sentence, for instance, is an stereotyped view of human beings. : -))) Hehehe. For some people, like myself, it does matter, at first, whether the guy is fat or uses long hair. I do have a taste and a personality: I AM PREJUDICED, I’m NOT OK with everything. I DO care about looks. But this is not ALL I care about. A person may captivate me for other reasons and I’ll soon be finding myself thinking that he’s gorgeous, even if my friends would say that the guy is ugly as hell. What I think is "ugly" many people think is "beautiful" and I say cheers to that. Long live the differences! : -))) Now I told the whole website that I’m prejudiced. : -))) My reputation points - I remember a silly game featuring Spider Man... - are going downhill. If I were to try everything first before making my own mind, I’d be dead, I think. I DON’T want to try to live with an heroine - or alcohol - addict to see if I really dislike being with people addicted to alcohol or heroine. "Yara, don’t be so prejudiced. Try living with an extremist terrorist X (whatever the ideology or religion is) first before saying you don’t like such people. Try to live under their conditions before saying that what they do is wrong" - to which I’d answer...well, better not writing what I’d answer to that at all. : -)) |
| catqueen 11.09.2009 14:28 |
Exactly. Things do affect your perception, even silly, stupid little things. After a while you don't notice them any more, or even start to like the annoying habit, but initially, as Yara said, it does affect how you see someone, unfortunitly. Having said that, I don't think those are the things that make or break something, but they might make so you don't start going out with someone. People are attracted to people they perceive as like themselves. Otherwise, you'll probably need to get to know them better before you can 'get around' your 'bias'. Anyway, that's my thought, for what its worth. |
| Raf 12.09.2009 07:52 |
dragon-fly wrote: The subject of this topic is some old-fashioned questions. Once they were relevant. Then the people claimed- it is not anymore, referring to the freedom. The democracy in everything. But even so, they(questions) seem to be present anyway. When you look for your "second half", do you pay attention to these things? Or, if you're married- did you think about this while choosing your partner? Do you think that are the old dogmas? Do you think all that things are important? How will you answer on the questions below? Do you think it's BAD if your girlfriend/boyfriend: 1- smokes 2- drinks alcohol 3- swears 4- fat 5- skinny 6- can't dance 7- messy 8- poor 9- religious 10- a) shorter then you (man); b) taller than you (woman) 11- a) younger then you (man); b) older then you (woman) 12- a) doesn't have muscles (man); b) doesn't have big shapes (woman) 13- a) has long hair (man); b) has short hair (woman) 14- a) wears a lot of jewellery (man); b) wears mostly pants (woman) 15- a) bad at mechanics (man); b) can't cook (woman) Pay attention- it's not about whether you match this, it's about if you like/dislike this in other people:) P.S. My little exploration of people's opinions about some battered questions prompted by an article, which supposed to show the place of stereotypes nowadays. Take it easy:)1 - It's unacceptable. 2 - I don't mind it, as long as she doesn't overdo it. 3 - I don't mind it. 4 - No. Looks shouldn't come first. Plus, it's not like my body is perfect anyway. 5 - See previous answer. 6 - No. 7 - If she's messy, maybe we could get along even better! 8 - No way. 9 - Actually, yes. It's okay if she has a religion, but if she's too religious, we will not get along well at all. 10 - No (see 4). 11 - If we get along well despite the age difference, what's the matter? 12 - No (see 4). 13 - No (see 4). But she'd better not long haired men. ;) 14 - And how many girls actually don't do it nowadays? 15 - No. One thing I'd like to point out is that you asked many "irrelevant" things (about body shape, cooking skills, short hair etc) but you didn't ask about intelligence. After actually having something with a girl who isn't very smart, I learned that I care A LOT about it. |
| dragon-fly 12.09.2009 08:41 |
I asked all these questions just because as far as I can see people still more or less pay attention to it. Not all of them at once:). I mean, all this traditional things- like it is considered that man should be taller, older than his woman. Or this talking that smoking isn't fashionable anymore. The other thought- that woman with short hair (wearing pants) isn't so feminine. And etc. etc. I did not state anything. I am asking what other people think. And I'm curious is it true or false? About the intelligence- I haven't put in the list becuase it's very obvious. If there is no intelligence- nothing will save the situation:) |
| Raf 12.09.2009 08:53 |
dragon-fly wrote: I asked all these questions just because as far as I can see people still more or less pay attention to it. Not all of them at once:). I mean, all this traditional things- like it is considered that man should be taller, older than his woman. Or this talking that smoking isn't fashionable anymore. The other thought- that woman with short hair (wearing pants) isn't so feminine. And etc. etc. I did not state anything. I am asking what other people think. And I'm curious is it true or false? About the intelligence- I haven't put in the list becuase it's very obvious. If there is no intelligence- nothing will save the situation:)About the smoking thing... It's not about being fashionable... It's just that I really can't put up with the smoke. If it bothers me on the street, imagine inside my own house... ;) Not to mention the dreadful kiss, as Yara pointed out. About the intelligence... I know guys who don't care about it, and a couple of guys who actually prefer dumb girls (!!). But I agree with you, it *should* be obvious that no intelligence would mean no deal. ;) |
| Angeline 14.09.2009 19:25 |
dragon-fly wrote: The subject of this topic is some old-fashioned questions. Once they were relevant. Then the people claimed- it is not anymore, referring to the freedom. The democracy in everything. But even so, they(questions) seem to be present anyway. When you look for your "second half", do you pay attention to these things? Or, if you're married- did you think about this while choosing your partner? Do you think that are the old dogmas? Do you think all that things are important? How will you answer on the questions below? Do you think it's BAD if your girlfriend/boyfriend: 1- smokes 2- drinks alcohol 3- swears 4- fat 5- skinny 6- can't dance 7- messy 8- poor 9- religious 10- a) shorter then you (man); b) taller than you (woman) 11- a) younger then you (man); b) older then you (woman) 12- a) doesn't have muscles (man); b) doesn't have big shapes (woman) 13- a) has long hair (man); b) has short hair (woman) 14- a) wears a lot of jewellery (man); b) wears mostly pants (woman) 15- a) bad at mechanics (man); b) can't cook (woman) Pay attention- it's not about whether you match this, it's about if you like/dislike this in other people:) P.S. My little exploration of people's opinions about some battered questions prompted by an article, which supposed to show the place of stereotypes nowadays. Take it easy:) 1. Occasionally is fine. 2.No, provided they aren't either a) ridiculous when drunk or b) an alcoholic. 3. No as long as they also have a great vocabulary. 4. yes (just personal) 5. yes 6. I mind but not a deal-breaker - if they WON'T dance, that IS a deal-breaker. 7. No within reason. 8. No as long as it isn't because they're lazy. 9. yes - I couldn't relate. I'm taking religious to mean devoted to particular religion - a nominal belief in a higher power is fine. 10 a) I'm 5'6' so yes. 11. Yes, I find myself more attracted to older men. 12 a) don't care about muscles. 13. love long hair. 14. a) um yes. 15. a) No, i'd rather they could cook - in fact I couldn't go out with a man who couldn't cook. |
| Sergei. 17.09.2009 15:51 |
1- I dislike smoking, so yes, it would be bad. Smokers tend to have erratic ways, like going outside at three in the morning to smoke a cigarette, which is disruptive and irritating. 2- I believe too much akkaho would be a problem. 3- People who swear too much sound dumb, but when the swearing is appropriate to the situation, I do not mind. 4- Sorry, yes. 5- No. 6- I don't care about this one, really. I've never tried to dance, and so I probably can't, so I don't see why I'd want someone else to. But if he/she did ballet it would be interesting. 7- I must admit that I don't like mess, so I wouldn't like someone else's mess either. 8- I don't care. 9- Overly Christian would be bad, yes. I like Catholicism though. Maybe that's because I enjoy Brideshead Revisited too much, and I think "Christum dominum nostrum" sounds cool. 10- I don't care. 11- I would want someone right around my age. 12- I prefer very thin people, so I don't find either overly muscular or overly curvaceous very attractive. So, no. 13- I don't care. 14- I don't care. 15- That question is retarded. Having completed this, I will now say that I don't even like women or men, I just wanted to complete the survey for The Hell Of It. It's not like any male or female will ever want me anyway. |