| QueenTaylor 11.05.2007 16:04 |
For those of you who love abnormal things and crazy skinless, bleeding demons *cough* Nathan!, bats, *coughs* Nathan!, and Weapons *coughs* Nathan!. lol..anyway you get the point. So for those of you who'd liek to join in this crazy story-go ahead!! : ) |
| Nathan 11.05.2007 16:10 |
So Lexie and John were inside the batcave with the four demons standing guard. The bats swooped down at them all together. John was thorougly enjoying himself while Lexie was screaming at the top of her lungs. Freddie, Brian and Roger were tied up in the corner and being attacked as well. |
| QueenTaylor 11.05.2007 16:17 |
"Get us the hell out of here," Freddie yelled. John just continued to laugh at them. "No this is fun," Brian said. Freddie looked at Brian, "Are you freakin crazy?" Brian shook his head. Lexie attempted, once more to run out of the cave, but John stopped her. |
| Nathan 11.05.2007 16:28 |
"And now for my next trick," he said. He pulled off his wig and pulled some carrots out of it. |
| QueenTaylor 11.05.2007 16:32 |
"What the hell is this? Where'd you see that? On Kim Possible!!?" Freddie said. "hahahaha," John laughed. "No actually you're right," John said seriously. Freddie rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. "Can we just get out of here?" "No wait, I have to perfect the trick," John said. Everyone sat there waiting for John. "Now did Kim do it this way? No I'm doing it worng!!" John said. They all rolled their eyes and were very annoyed. |
| Nathan 11.05.2007 16:36 |
Even the bats were starting to get annoyed. "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!" they all said in unison. "Alright, keep your wings on," John fumed. "I'm not doing so bad. That WAS the trick. I did it right first time. "I think I'm starting to grow some skin," said one demon. |
| QueenTaylor 11.05.2007 16:41 |
"What really ok, just hold on,"John said. "I've got to show you th other one I saw." Freddie sighed, "We'll be forever." "Okay, well it goes like this," John said. "Someone say ta da." "Ta da," Freddie groaned. "Ok, now I have to step on the hat, then put it obver ny head, wave ut around, hit it 10 times, then put it back on my head, then kiss it." John said, doing each thing. "Okay, now a rabbit comes out! Hey-where is it??!!! Oh...at teh begining of teh trick i think im supossed to wave my hand over the hat before you say ta da." "UGHHHHHH!" Freddie moaned. |
| Vincent. 11.05.2007 16:46 |
"Hurry up, John! This is sooo boring." whined Brian. |
| Nathan 11.05.2007 17:01 |
"Did it have to be BATS?" Freddie questioned. "Would you like some wolves too?" John asked, clapping his hands. Immediately, six wolves appeared and began creeping towards the other members of Queen, fangs baring and eyes gleaming bright yellow. |
| blues breaker 11.05.2007 18:42 |
The wolves gazed at Fredie and all agreed it was wrong to eat such talent, shifting there gaze across the room to Brian and Roger then to the centre of the room where John stood,still laughing at the madness of the unfolding story. The wolves then pounced, at break-neck speed full weight beering down on the unsusspecting John |
| deleted user 11.05.2007 18:50 |
This thread is hysterical! XD John demanded the wolves to "get the fuck off!" All the wolves slowly obliged one by one. The mad magician, John, glared at them. He then produced a random hot air balloon, that randomly blew up and sent a wave of spiders through the air. He cackled at his madness. How he loved being evil! He was genuinely good at it. Then he picked up a carrot that he produced off the ground and ate, sitting back to watch the catastrophe he had set up[on his unsuspecting band mates... |
| Eregwen 11.05.2007 18:51 |
He saw the wolves being hounded and controlled by the pecking, shrieking bats, who seemed to be directing the wolves over to his bandmates. The wolves started to go for Freddie. The bats pecked and shrieked, guiding them away. Then the wolves went for Brian. The bats pecked and shrieked and guided them away again. Then the wolves went for Roger. That was what the bats wanted. The wolves clawed and bit the binding off Roger, who lurched forward and cried, "I'm free!" But no sooner did he do so than all the bats swooped down, lifted him up, flew off, and carried him screaming into the night. |
| blues breaker 11.05.2007 18:55 |
NOOOOOOOO Cried Roger i'm too good looking to be eaten , take Brian he wont be so chewy |
| ~im a fool~ 11.05.2007 19:08 |
then the bats were like "damn, your right!" so they dropped roger back on the cold hard ground, and he was all like " well that sucked". when the bats got back down into the horrendous cave of death, they grabbed brian by his hair and pulled him into the dark space above the rest of the world and took him to the floating platform called ignortouseisout, where ziggy stardust plants potatoes.... |
| Sergei. 11.05.2007 21:26 |
And played guitar ^_^ With his skinless hands 0-o |
| blues breaker 11.05.2007 23:18 |
So Freddie shouted your 'Doing alright' just need to 'Keep yourself alive'. It dosn't matter if John is a 'Liar'because 'Jesus' will take our 'Son and daughter' to safety at 'The seven seas of Rhye'. All you need to do is meet the 'Great King rat' and wiat untill 'The night comes down' before you kick his arse with some 'Modern times rock and roll'. with a little help from 'My fairy king'. (it was gonna happen eventualy) |
| Sweetie 12.05.2007 03:24 |
^ Tehe indeed while all that was happening Lexie was cowering in the corner, but then John noticed her and started to walk towards her, but before he got near enough to her to...well to do anything she screamed because a spider had just crawled frantically across her arm away from the evil Mr. Deacon. John swore rather loudly which startled many beetles that were having a snack on John's right foot and then moved toward Lexie again and pulled her into his arms (Damn my lack of evil imagination) and suddenly a beautiful large Unicorn from the skies flew into the cave and sat on Freddie's face 'EWWWW it farted on me!' screamed Freddie in disgust. 'haha! beef stew aye Fred?' said Lex, slightly muffled by John's shoulder on which he head was resting on (You know, I must be a dumb, hopless romantic...DAMN IT! I don't want to be hopeless ;_;) |
| deleted user 12.05.2007 21:07 |
lexie u wont b hopeless.. |
| Nathan 13.05.2007 16:13 |
One day, John walked into an arena where Q+PR were scheduled to perform. Clutching a photograph of Freddie close to his heart, he wept silently, remembering the good times and how dishonest it was for Brian and Roger to have the audacity to call themselves QUEEN! Seriously, QUEEN! Just the two of them!!!! What about Smile? John thought to himself. Oh, it's all about the money for those two tossers, John thought to himself. Well, I'll show them! First, John murdered a man who walked past him, cut off his face and wore it as a mask. Using this disguise, he snuck into the backstage area and, systematically beating up all the security who were on duty, he found his way into the equipment area. John almost broke down in tears again as he saw the bass guitar labelled with a different name to his. DANNY MIRANDA? WHO THE F**K WAS HE? John cursed like a sailor and headed towards it. Stretching out his hands he picked it up and studied it carefully. "You know," he said aloud. "I've always wanted a new golf club. Let's see what this baby can do." Pulling out a golf ball from his pocket, John placed it on the floor and swung the guitar towards it. Obviously, since he couldn't afford a new golf club and had been thus out of practice for five years, John missed by a mile and smashed the guitar on the ground. "I AM THE QUEEN BASSIST!" he hissed through clenched teeth, fiercley resisting the temptation to emit evil laughter. Next, he walked over to the keyboards. That bloody traitor Spike Edney! Who did he think he was? Did he think going bald and giving up those beastly pink shirts was going to protect him from the wrath of John? Hell no! Mind you, John's hair by this time had a one-way ticket off his own head too, but never mind. So John sat behind the keyboards and thought to himself. "I wonder what it's like being Elton John?" So he deliberately pounded the keyboards withy his fingers until every key had been plucked out and damaged beyond repair. Spike had just been spiked and how glorious it felt too! Now for the drums. John sat behind them and started quietly drumming. He was enjoying this and felt a little sorry that he had to destroy them. Alas, Janus told him he had to so....loyalty above all else except honour? Nah, screw that, business was business. "This one's for Keith Moon!" John announced, kicking the drumkit over with both his feet. They fell to the ground with a satisfying clatter. "Serves you right Roger for always being up yourself!" John sneered. Now for the biggest pain in the cough cough of the lot! That man who insisted his wig was real hair - Brian Maybe It's Real, Maybe It's Not. Clutching the Red Special in his hands, John looked down lovingly at the well-crafted instrument and held it to his chest. He then broke it into hundreds of pieces on his knee. He then stole Jamie Moses' guitar and the accoustic guitar for "undisclosed" reasons before setting the room, and thereby all the reserve instruments, on fire. And he made sure he laid lots of petrol on the floor before he dropped the match. Obviously the show couldn't go on and anyway, after the last tour consisted of nothing but the infamous "We've got your f**king money" speeches, the fans were becoming restless and basically demanded a show or there would be hell to pay. As soon as the assistant opened the door, hell was paid as he was engulfed in flames. Rapidly losing his sanity, he ran out on stage in front of the audience, who thought it was all part of the act, and obediently uttered a lot of ooohs and aaahs. John saw this and successfully fought back a TINY pang of guilt. Why should he be feeling guilty? He was a bloody murderer after all! What did inadvertantely causing the death of a foolish Q+PR employee mean anyway? They represented everything that was wrong with the bloody modern music world after all! And what was with that Scooch? Oh |
| Vincent. 13.05.2007 20:22 |
Aw, Nathan, was that the story you wrote for me? How nice. :P |
| QueenTaylor 06.06.2007 18:37 |
So, John continued his search for Kim Possible in Greece, where they came after him with pitchforks and torches....... |
| Nathan 06.06.2007 18:40 |
And Nathan announced his retirement from storytelling. |
| Vincent. 06.06.2007 18:41 |
Nathan wrote: And Nathan announced his retirement from storytelling.Oh Nathan! We'll miss you! I wish you wouldn't retire! *cries* ;_; |
| QueenTaylor 06.06.2007 18:43 |
Nathan wrote: And Nathan announced his retirement from storytelling.Nath-why would you do that? ;_; You're a great storywriter!!!! Come on!! :( plleeeaaaseee :D |
| Nathan 06.06.2007 18:50 |
Too late. It's done. |
| Vincent. 06.06.2007 18:55 |
Nathan wrote: Too late. It's done.*cries even harder* ;_; NATHAN! WHY?! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?! NAAAAATHAAAAAN! ;_; |
| Nathan 06.06.2007 18:56 |
There is one thing you can do for me. |
| Vincent. 06.06.2007 18:59 |
Nathan wrote: There is one thing you can do for me.*stops crying a moment and looks at Nathan* Yes? |
| Nathan 06.06.2007 19:00 |
Continue my stories for me. Don't let their flame flicker out. |
| Vincent. 06.06.2007 19:02 |
Alink, Nathan. And I'm flattered you find me capable of continuing them, what a job! I'd never let them die out on you! I just wish you wouldn't quit. |
| Nathan 06.06.2007 19:08 |
I look forward to reading it. Remember everything you have learned from me. |
| Vincent. 06.06.2007 19:09 |
Of course, Master Nathan. *bows* |
| QueenTaylor 06.06.2007 19:18 |
so.. The greeks chased this crazy, evil man out of their country causing him to run and run, until he could run no more, well because truth is,he reached a bridge, and fell over, falling into a huge river. The greeks cheered and shouted. "We got rid of him! Horray!!!" "I'll be back,"John yelled, "To find my Kim Possible." "Who the hell is this Kim Possible girl he has been talking about,"they said. "Who knows, crazy cray man. I feel bad for him.......NO I don't," they laughed, as they watched him float down the river, shouting Kim's name. |
| Nathan 06.06.2007 19:22 |
That's better than I ever was. When do we see the next chapter? I'm curious to know, why Greece? |
| QueenTaylor 06.06.2007 19:24 |
I don't know-I want Kaylee to continue with me, but no-it wasn't better than you, tanks though and why Greece? I don't know-because you loooove Greece! :) |
| Nathan 06.06.2007 19:29 |
Then John pressed the rewind button and found himself going backwards at dizzying speeds. He was going to change history. He then let the frenzied mob stick him with pitchforks all over, simply because he got a kick out of it. |
| QueenTaylor 06.06.2007 19:36 |
and he really was, he was laughing so hard, he was crying. "hahahahhahahahhaha,"he laughed and pointed at teh pitchforks. The people backed up from him a momnet and looked at him. They decided exactly what to do. They grabbed the torches lit with fire and put them right near John's big bushy, brocolli hair. They set it on fire while John was still laughing and watched it go up in flames. John stopped laughing for a moment and noticed that his head felt extremely hot. He felt it with his hands. "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,"John yelled, as he noticed that all of his hair was gone, and he had just touched burning fire. "Oh holy shit that's sooooooo hot" he screamed."ahhhhhhhh." He started to run and run. He ran into a house nearby and stuck his head under the person's kitchen sink to cool his head off. |
| Vincent. 06.06.2007 21:28 |
...When he lifted his head out of the sink, he realized he had burnt his hair. His lovely white-boy afro. His eyes welled up with tears as he touched his bare scalp. He turned to the heavens and shouted in agony, "WHY?! WHY, KIM, WHY?!" Then a great lightning bolt struck him down. He arose, disoriented, only to realize again he'd lost all of his hair... |
| deleted user 07.06.2007 13:11 |
[snork, zzzz,yawn, reads thread, laughs] LMAO. [claps] Then Johnny went into a state of panic and began hyperventilating. "My hair! My sweet hair!" He passed out again, having sick and twisted dreams about fighting love of his life, Kim Possible in hand-to-hand combat. Then he would cheat, pull out a medieval flail and hack her beautiful head into miniature size pieces as he made love to her now lifeless body. Then he would roast them over a fire and sing Kumbaya and- He woke up. It must have been around three. He shrieked to his bat friends. "What's the time?" he yelled in bat-tongue... |
| Sergei. 07.06.2007 19:34 |
Nathan wrote: And Nathan announced his retirement from storytelling.He just wants attention. |
| Nathan 08.06.2007 18:28 |
Have you got a problem with me? |
| Sergei. 08.06.2007 20:26 |
Nathan wrote: Have you got a problem with me?Well, yes. I do, actually.... And The Fairy King said that I was an attention whore... I completely agreed with Carol when she said that you always talk about all this "I have no friends, nobody wants me, I'm leaving the board, not posting on threads anymore, etc." bullshit, and you know there's going to be this group of people who are always so quick to say "NOOO! But I'm your friend nathan!!!" I mean, you KNOW that there will be people doing that. There always is at least one person. It's like you just want to be reassured that you have friends. It makes me sick. All it sounds like is you just want attention. |
| Nathan 09.06.2007 05:54 |
Maybe I am like that. I don't have to explain myself to someone like you. So, in future, keep your big nose to yourself and don't try to interfere with things you know NOTHING about. |
| Sergei. 09.06.2007 11:02 |
Nathan wrote: Maybe I am like that. I don't have to explain myself to someone like you. So, in future, keep your big nose to yourself and don't try to interfere with things you know NOTHING about.You didn't have to explain yourself. See? I did it for you. |
| deleted user 10.06.2007 00:03 |
<font color=plum>Cookies?<h6>A Scientist wrote:I have to agree with her.Nathan wrote: Have you got a problem with me?Well, yes. I do, actually.... And The Fairy King said that I was an attention whore... I completely agreed with Carol when she said that you always talk about all this "I have no friends, nobody wants me, I'm leaving the board, not posting on threads anymore, etc." bullshit, and you know there's going to be this group of people who are always so quick to say "NOOO! But I'm your friend nathan!!!" I mean, you KNOW that there will be people doing that. There always is at least one person. It's like you just want to be reassured that you have friends. It makes me sick. All it sounds like is you just want attention. |
| Nathan 24.06.2007 18:30 |
Anyhow.... John was pedalling along on his pink five-year-old's bike, bobbing his head up and down and whistling a tune. (Which incidentally was not a Queen song) He knew what he had to do. He had to get out of the country as soon as possible before he was assassinated by the unknown forces who had been harrassing him and threatening to nuke him. But where should he go? Where COULD he go? He remembered the song "Hey Joe" and recollected that the lyrics mentioned going down to Mexico to be free, so that was an obvious place to start. But he hated Mexican food. Then he thought about Japan and how well Queen were received there. But he couldn't be bothered to learn to use chopsticks. How about France? No, he'd be too tempted to commit suicide by jumping from the top of the Eiffel Tower. How about India? Nah, the curries were...... Wait! India! That was the place! Freddie had very strong connections there and John was certain that they would take him under his wing there. Plus, Indian food was the best in the world. So spicy and mouth-wateringly tasty. That was the place to be. So John pedalled to the docks, ignoring all the dirty looks he received from passers-by who thought it odd that a full-grown man was riding a child's bike. A pink one, at that. But John didn't mind. He was on his way to starting a new life away from the people who wanted to murder him. He whistled and hummed gaily as he pedalled to the docks. He could now ditch the idea of a sex change, which had never really appealed to him anyway. |
| Nathan 24.06.2007 19:07 |
John reached the docks and only then remembered that he had forgotten to pack anything. He cursed for a moment, then shrugged his soldiers and said out loud: "New life, new beginning, new possessions." He checked his pockets and found that he was still carrying the CD of him and Kim Possible making love loudly on a crowded beach. He smiled, particularly when he saw the words "Greatest Rock Songs" written on it. He decided to ask the captain to play it over the loudspeakers to entertain everyone on board. Even if the captain wouldn't play it, John would. He walked up the gangplank onto the ship, stabbing the sailor outside the door through the heart quietly while doing so and dropping his body into the sea. He then wheeled his bicycle on and went towards a cabin, where he could relax and put his feet up. |