Just to let you know I am now officially in the family way. I am delighted to announce I am the proud father (although in a certain light she does look suspiciously like a so-called pal of mine) of a baby girl.
Born on March 8th weighing a strapping 8lb 9oz, we have called her Hannah Jayne and she is absolutely beautiful, but what would you expect with quality genes like hers?
Congratulations - you must be overjoyed :)
From now on sleep is not an option and money is only worth half of what it used to be. She will spit her milk on your best suit and you won't mind. You will take hundreds of photos which look all the same and you'll bore the hell out of your friends with stories about her alleged smartness. The silly proud-father smile will not leave your face and drive away effectively all intelligent people near you.
You lucky bastard:)
Sir Archie Leach wrote: You never told me about your impending fatherhood you old rascal.
Wait till Harry Borlox hears about this!
Don't play dumb, you old rake, although it clearly comes naturally to you.
I've seen you sniffing around seeing if there's any resemblances. Aye, well she's got ten fingers and ten toes, so she ain't yours pal, get it into your head.