Aye, that's right dear Reader, in just a few short weeks I shall be getting wed for the first time, under severe duress I may add, and against all my principles, what there are of 'em.
I'll just give you a moment for all the heartbroken fillies out there to collect their thoughts or swoon if necessary.
There's a silver cloud, mind. I won't be changing my lifestyle one iota - i'll just need to be a little more clandestine, that's all. If anything, it may drive me onto still darker misdemenours.
You may have heard that just recently I passed my long time target of 1000 career mounts. It took a while to get there and for a moment I thought to myself "Here, Flashy " I thought " maybe it's time for a period of reflection or to completely hang up your boots for good."
I must have had some drink in me, I often feel rather maudlin' these days after too many jars, but anyroad the moment soon passed and it was onwards and upwards - boarding just about any creature that showed half-willing, or were too goosed to know better.
It was just my rotten luck that the one mount to be ovulating at just the right time is part of a rather notorious family in the locale, who took it upon themselves to announce our forthcoming nuptials in a most forthright fashion ( I was hanging naked upside down from a tree at the time - and after much blaspheming, begging, blackmailing and finally uncontrollable wailing, I wholeheartedly agreed to their proposals).
She's a looker, by the way. Not a bad sort too, as women go. An agreeable ride, I suppose, and with a little training from her learned master-to-be should make a satisfying mount. She seems completely dotty about me and believes just about everything I say, bless her stupid mind.
What she doesn't know won't her, eh Reader?
So I'm to be a husband and father. A little Flashman on the scene... I dare say there's scores of 'em dotted all over the continents - wretched creatures, though handsome as you like, but this is the only one whose keep I'll be paying, hang it all.
Well well well....so my chances of roping the Flashman are nill. I don't take to kindly to defeat but I suppose I can concede quietly on this since there will be a little Flashman or Flashwoman to carry on the traditions.
Congrats Flashy and I want to see pictures of the happy family.
:)
Lester Burnham wrote: May I deliver a drunken toast at the wedding? What's that? I'm not invited?
Don't let the lack of an invitation stop you sending a present, lad.
Anything but fucking Argos vouchers, mind. I enjoy the finer things in life.
I'm still a little bitter, but I'll send you some GUS vouchers. Being from America, I don't know how GUS rates compared to Argos, but I'm doing my best here.
Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!
Flashy, as the former B&QFan, which you thought I was a fan of domestic stuff and all that :P, I wish you the best of the world man ^^.