| Mr Mercury 30.05.2006 19:33 |
Men are just simply happier people, and here is why... Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car Mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier! |
| Carol! the Musical 30.05.2006 20:53 |
Your last name stays put. When I get married, no way in hell am I getting rid of my last name. Chocolate is just another snack. It's just another snack for me, too. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Women can be president, too. And science proves that man can give birth, too. Unlikely, though. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. There's nothing preventing me from doing that. Wrinkles add character. No, they don't. You can play with toys all your life. So can I, and every other woman in the world. PS: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a wife. That's one of the stupidest things I've read in a long time, even if it's meant to be a joke. Good day. :-) |
| deleted user 30.05.2006 21:29 |
*rolls eyes* 'nuff said. |
| magicalfreddiemercury 30.05.2006 21:30 |
Love it Mr. Mercury! Is it okay to forward? There are some I know who would so enjoy this! |
| yamaha 30.05.2006 23:19 |
So true. I've had dirt and grease under my finger nails for the past three weeks because of a ongoing car project. What little time I devote to grooming them is in fact done with my pen knife. It's not that I don't care, I just don't give a damn. Very good list! |
| Mr.Jingles 30.05.2006 23:55 |
We can pee standing up... Plus, if there's an emergency and no bathroom around all we need is a tree to hide behind. There's no need for us to ask another male to come along to make sure nobody is looking. This goes to proof that God is a sexist male. Both Adam and Eve were about as guilty for biting the forbidden fruit, but Eve took most (if not all) of the shit once it hit the fan. Think about it... Women have to put up with periods, cramps, pregnancies, child birth, breastfeeding, and no choice but to raise a kid for the next 20 years of their lives. Meanwhile, the only thing men have to put up with is wet dreams and morning wood, and that doesn't seem such a bad thing. |
| YourValentine 31.05.2006 03:50 |
Okay, since men are so happy about their ability to pee standing up, here is the story: When God created the world he spoke to Adam and Eve and told them he had two gifts left to give away and each of them should get one. The first was the ability to pee while standing and Adam screamed "me, me!" so God granted it to him. The other gift was the ability to have multiple orgasms |
| Mr Mercury 31.05.2006 05:24 |
<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote: Your last name stays put. When I get married, no way in hell am I getting rid of my last name. Chocolate is just another snack. It's just another snack for me, too. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Women can be president, too. And science proves that man can give birth, too. Unlikely, though. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. There's nothing preventing me from doing that. Wrinkles add character. No, they don't. You can play with toys all your life. So can I, and every other woman in the world. PS: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a wife. That's one of the stupidest things I've read in a long time, even if it's meant to be a joke. Good day. :-)Have I missed the point of your post, or did you not get the fact that its all a joke (including the sig part which I took from another site and reversed the husband/wife bit)? |
| Mr Mercury 31.05.2006 05:26 |
magicalfreddiemercury wrote: Love it Mr. Mercury! Is it okay to forward? There are some I know who would so enjoy this!You can do so if you wish magicalfreddiemercury as its not mines to begin with. I just copied it from somewhere else :) |
| Munchsack 31.05.2006 06:03 |
LOL! That's good! |
| M a t i a s M a y 31.05.2006 07:46 |
Don't forget that we can take a shit anywhere =) well... I can take a shit anywhere ... well, I guess I can shit anywhere almost anywhere ... nevermind |
| FreMe 31.05.2006 08:22 |
A few reasons, why it´s good to be a woman: You can hold hands, share a chair and kiss in public, without people screaming "GAY!!!" at you. You get to feel the first kicks of the baby. You dont have to shave (at least not at winter time) You can hide, getting turned on. (very nice in public :p) You have a biological excuse, to scream at everyone (´specially your husband) for a few days, each month. You can wear all colors, and all types of clothes. Men look gay in pink and a miniskirt.. And best of all: YOU´RE NOT A GUY!... |
| deleted user 31.05.2006 11:37 |
Ravenetta <h6> the QZ hippy</h6> wrote: yeah i dont want kids lol i love it when people lecture me after i went to work that they have kids and a husband to take care of and a job and all i do is laugh lol, they didnt have to do all that! but its their choiceI dont want kids either!Not a fan of them and the idea of someone actually living inside of me for 9 months turns my stomach. |
| Daburcor? 31.05.2006 11:41 |
I hate these stupid lists, and I hate being generalized. |
| deleted user 31.05.2006 11:41 |
Ravenetta <h6> the QZ hippy</h6> wrote:I know how you feel.and then,while bein nice and lettin him/her live in your womb,they start kicking.how rude<font color=dark red>WhiteQueen wrote:yes thats one of the many reasons i dont want them XD its MY uterus! i wont share!Ravenetta <h6> the QZ hippy</h6> wrote: yeah i dont want kids lol i love it when people lecture me after i went to work that they have kids and a husband to take care of and a job and all i do is laugh lol, they didnt have to do all that! but its their choiceI dont want kids either!Not a fan of them and the idea of someone actually living inside of me for 9 months turns my stomach. |
| Carol! the Musical 31.05.2006 13:17 |
<font color=green><b>Mr Mercury</b> wrote:I know it's a joke, I'm just making a point. And notice how I said your signature was one of the the stupidest things I had read in a long time, EVEN IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE A JOKE. :-)<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote: Your last name stays put. When I get married, no way in hell am I getting rid of my last name. Chocolate is just another snack. It's just another snack for me, too. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Women can be president, too. And science proves that man can give birth, too. Unlikely, though. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. There's nothing preventing me from doing that. Wrinkles add character. No, they don't. You can play with toys all your life. So can I, and every other woman in the world. PS: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a wife. That's one of the stupidest things I've read in a long time, even if it's meant to be a joke. Good day. :-)Have I missed the point of your post, or did you not get the fact that its all a joke (including the sig part which I took from another site and reversed the husband/wife bit)? |
| Mr.Jingles 31.05.2006 13:34 |
Dan Corson wrote: I hate these stupid lists, and I hate being generalized.I love generalizations about men, because whenever I find a woman that believes them, I know for sure that this is a bitch I need to stay away from. |
| FreMe 31.05.2006 13:36 |
Mr.Jingles wrote:You call me a bitch???Dan Corson wrote: I hate these stupid lists, and I hate being generalized.I love generalizations about men, because whenever I find a woman that believes them, I know for sure that this is a bitch I need to stay away from. Oh wait.. I did´nt belive it.. I just showed that I have no sense of humor, too :p |
| Mr.Jingles 31.05.2006 13:42 |
<font color=dark red>WhiteQueen wrote:If you feel the urge to take care of a small creature, be smart... GET A PET INSTEAD!Ravenetta <h6> the QZ hippy</h6> wrote: yeah i dont want kids lol i love it when people lecture me after i went to work that they have kids and a husband to take care of and a job and all i do is laugh lol, they didnt have to do all that! but its their choiceI dont want kids either!Not a fan of them and the idea of someone actually living inside of me for 9 months turns my stomach. - You don't have to save tons of money to send them to college. - They don't talk back. - No matter the age, they enjoy being caressed and cuddled. - They don't drink - They don't do drugs (except for cats rolling on catnip... but who cares!?) - They won't crash your car - Unexpected pregnancies can be avoided by spaying and neutering your pet. - They don't ask for expensive clothes. - They don't ask for allowance. - You can walk around the house naked, and they won't care. - You don't have to change the channel when you're watching a TV show with adult content. ...and the most important... ...you don't have to go through the pain of giving birth. |
| deleted user 31.05.2006 14:16 |
Mr.Jingles wrote:My thoughts exactly<font color=dark red>WhiteQueen wrote:If you feel the urge to take care of a small creature, be smart... GET A PET INSTEAD! - You don't have to save tons of money to send them to college. - They don't talk back. - No matter the age, they enjoy being caressed and cuddled. - They don't drink - They don't do drugs (except for cats rolling on catnip... but who cares!?) - They won't crash your car - Unexpected pregnancies can be avoided by spaying and neutering your pet. - They don't ask for expensive clothes. - They don't ask for allowance. - You can walk around the house naked, and they won't care. - You don't have to change the channel when you're watching a TV show with adult content. ...and the most important... ...you don't have to go through the pain of giving birth.Ravenetta <h6> the QZ hippy</h6> wrote: yeah i dont want kids lol i love it when people lecture me after i went to work that they have kids and a husband to take care of and a job and all i do is laugh lol, they didnt have to do all that! but its their choiceI dont want kids either!Not a fan of them and the idea of someone actually living inside of me for 9 months turns my stomach. |
| FreMe 31.05.2006 14:34 |
<font color=dark red>WhiteQueen wrote:YEAH!!! Fight for a future without kids!!!Mr.Jingles wrote:My thoughts exactly<font color=dark red>WhiteQueen wrote:If you feel the urge to take care of a small creature, be smart... GET A PET INSTEAD! - You don't have to save tons of money to send them to college. - They don't talk back. - No matter the age, they enjoy being caressed and cuddled. - They don't drink - They don't do drugs (except for cats rolling on catnip... but who cares!?) - They won't crash your car - Unexpected pregnancies can be avoided by spaying and neutering your pet. - They don't ask for expensive clothes. - They don't ask for allowance. - You can walk around the house naked, and they won't care. - You don't have to change the channel when you're watching a TV show with adult content. ...and the most important... ...you don't have to go through the pain of giving birth.Ravenetta <h6> the QZ hippy</h6> wrote: yeah i dont want kids lol i love it when people lecture me after i went to work that they have kids and a husband to take care of and a job and all i do is laugh lol, they didnt have to do all that! but its their choiceI dont want kids either!Not a fan of them and the idea of someone actually living inside of me for 9 months turns my stomach. |
| Mr Mercury 31.05.2006 16:55 |
<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote:Ok Im cool with that then!! Are we friends then? :-)<font color=green><b>Mr Mercury</b> wrote:I know it's a joke, I'm just making a point. And notice how I said your signature was one of the the stupidest things I had read in a long time, EVEN IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE A JOKE. :-)<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote: Your last name stays put. When I get married, no way in hell am I getting rid of my last name. Chocolate is just another snack. It's just another snack for me, too. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Women can be president, too. And science proves that man can give birth, too. Unlikely, though. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. There's nothing preventing me from doing that. Wrinkles add character. No, they don't. You can play with toys all your life. So can I, and every other woman in the world. PS: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a wife. That's one of the stupidest things I've read in a long time, even if it's meant to be a joke. Good day. :-)Have I missed the point of your post, or did you not get the fact that its all a joke (including the sig part which I took from another site and reversed the husband/wife bit)? |
| Freya is quietly judging you. 31.05.2006 17:19 |
<font color=green><b>Mr Mercury</b> wrote: You know stuff about tanks.Wow, I'm sure that improves your quality of life. |
| Munchsack 31.05.2006 17:21 |
Actually, it does. |
| Freya is quietly judging you. 31.05.2006 17:22 |
Good. |
| Sergei. 31.05.2006 17:27 |
Mr.Jingles wrote: Think about it... Women have to put up with periods, cramps, pregnancies, child birth, breastfeeding, and no choice but to raise a kid for the next 20 years of their lives.Considering, (ass hole) that you want kids in the first place. And women don't have to live with prostates and those big baggy, squishy meatballs (other wise known as) TESTICLES. And btw, I liked your speech, Chinesdogtorture! :-) |
| Carol! the Musical 31.05.2006 17:34 |
<font color=green><b>Mr Mercury</b> wrote:Sure, buddy! :D<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote:Ok Im cool with that then!! Are we friends then? :-)<font color=green><b>Mr Mercury</b> wrote:I know it's a joke, I'm just making a point. And notice how I said your signature was one of the the stupidest things I had read in a long time, EVEN IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE A JOKE. :-)<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote: Your last name stays put. When I get married, no way in hell am I getting rid of my last name. Chocolate is just another snack. It's just another snack for me, too. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Women can be president, too. And science proves that man can give birth, too. Unlikely, though. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. There's nothing preventing me from doing that. Wrinkles add character. No, they don't. You can play with toys all your life. So can I, and every other woman in the world. PS: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a wife. That's one of the stupidest things I've read in a long time, even if it's meant to be a joke. Good day. :-)Have I missed the point of your post, or did you not get the fact that its all a joke (including the sig part which I took from another site and reversed the husband/wife bit)? |
| Carol! the Musical 31.05.2006 17:41 |
<font color=&#FF0063>Fairy<b>Feller! wrote: And btw, I liked your speech, Chinesdogtorture! :-)Thanks. :) It's nor really a *speech* per se (?? :P ), though, I was just showing my point of view, hehe. :P |
| Carol! the Musical 31.05.2006 17:42 |
Whoa, how'd I make it all bold?? :S |
| Mr Mercury 31.05.2006 18:07 |
<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote: Whoa, how'd I make it all bold?? :SWhat has happened is that a scripting error has occurred. To stop that from happening again you might need to put a space between the last letter from what you are quoting and the /QUOTE with the square brackets []. Usually that sorts it out. Hope that helps. |
| Carol! the Musical 31.05.2006 19:38 |
<font color=green><b>Mr Mercury</b> wrote:Thanks! :)<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote: Whoa, how'd I make it all bold?? :SWhat has happened is that a scripting error has occurred. To stop that from happening again you might need to put a space between the last letter from what you are quoting and the /QUOTE with the square brackets []. Usually that sorts it out. Hope that helps. |
| The Real Wizard 02.06.2006 10:41 |
YourValentine wrote: Okay, since men are so happy about their ability to pee standing up, here is the story: When God created the world he spoke to Adam and Eve and told them he had two gifts left to give away and each of them should get one. The first was the ability to pee while standing and Adam screamed "me, me!" so God granted it to him. The other gift was the ability to have multiple orgasmsBarbara!!!!!!!!! Is that you? ;) A side of you I've never seen before.... oh my..! Dan Corson wrote: I hate these stupid lists, and I hate being generalized.Take 'er easy, Dan... people know it's about men in general, not all men who walk the earth. I don't pee in public (anymore), and I wasn't offended. Think about it... I could name 100 countries where men couldn't relate to one of these things. Smile, beeotch. ;) |
| Dances With Freddie 03.06.2006 08:45 |
"The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades." LOL Brian!! XD that's why he's so happy! |
| Carol! the Musical 03.06.2006 11:42 |
^Tsc, tsc! We'd all be wearing a bathing suit underneath, so don't get your hopes up! XD |
| Carol! the Musical 03.06.2006 13:47 |
<font color=lime>KillerKing840 wrote:Woo hoo!! Now you're talkin' Rafa! XD All girls who want to take place in this protest, come here! :-P He, he, this sort of reminds me of my signature...<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote: ^Tsc, tsc! We'd all be wearing a bathing suit underneath, so don't get your hopes up! XDThanks for spoiling all the fun >.< BTW, I think ppl should unite to make the "equal rights" thing work. Why are men free to wear no shirt but women aren't? That's unfair! Let's make a huge manifest for Women's rights! If you have boobs, take off your shirt to protest against this rotten sexist world! XD |