| Sergei. 14.04.2006 17:29 |
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| Sergei. 14.04.2006 17:31 |
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| Sergei. 14.04.2006 19:14 |
**chews fingernails and kicks legs back** |
| blerp 14.04.2006 19:33 |
I like it. I especially like your descriptions of Luce and the other characters. I also thought it was just plain old funny how the apothecary man was just lying in the dirt, haw. I should try reviving my Fairy Feller story, but...eh. |
| Sergei. 14.04.2006 23:26 |
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| Carol! the Musical 15.04.2006 00:30 |
childwhoevery1hates wrote: Thank you, ladymercury but... I need MORE FEEDBACK!! *Salivates all over keyboard out of sheer lack of appraisal from other queenzoners* Everyone says these forums are boring and when I tried to post my story, no one bothers to read...?? I can't make my writing better if no one says anything about it!I just read it, I *love* it! :-D You created the perfect atmosphere to your story, and atmosphere is everything! |
| Sergei. 15.04.2006 08:43 |
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| Sergei. 15.04.2006 09:22 |
**sobs** |
| deleted user 15.04.2006 10:09 |
Just one thing: this is more of a PLAY than a novel. It's 99.9% dialogue! |
| Sergei. 15.04.2006 10:27 |
^I hope that isn't a bad thing... |
| beautifulsoup 15.04.2006 10:27 |
I've read at least one novella which is entirely in dialogue. ETA - It's not a bad thing. You have your dialogue tags. My suggestion is to cut down on the dialogue tags to make it all go faster. And please, oh PLEASE put line spaces between dialogue, just like they do in books. When something is all crowded up like this, I don't read. It's too much trouble. (Well, I usually don't read other stuff, anyway). :) |
| Sergei. 15.04.2006 10:28 |
If you all would like, I'll post my next chapter tonight |
| Sergei. 15.04.2006 10:35 |
I'm sorry I was just trying to get all of the stuff to fit... |
| beautifulsoup 15.04.2006 10:40 |
It's just a suggestion. And you're not the only one I've ever seen do it, and this is not the only fandom where I've seen it. |
| Sergei. 15.04.2006 12:21 |
Oh! I know what the problem is; I did put spaces on the word document but they showed up very small on the post in this thread. Anyway, would anyone like to read the next chapter?! I swear it's not all this serious... |
| DreaminQueen 15.04.2006 13:49 |
LOVE IT DARLING!!! ITS GREAT! Keep posting! I usually never really liked fantasy type stories, with the exception of Harry Potter, but all this talent is really getting me interested... now i must go to the bookstore and track one down... :P |
| That guy who digs energy domes 15.04.2006 14:54 |
its definatley unique. I'd like to see how it ends |
| as it began 15.04.2006 17:41 |
Hey some good stuff here! I like the character of Luce. It's cool to see fans who are really into Queen's work that is not well known. If I were to start talking about Fairy Feller's Masterstroke to my "queen fan" friends they would most liley go "wtf"? . lol |
| Sergei. 16.04.2006 10:02 |
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| Sergei. 16.04.2006 10:02 |
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| Sergei. 16.04.2006 14:26 |
*sigh* |
| Sergei. 16.04.2006 14:50 |
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| Sergei. 16.04.2006 15:05 |
I give up. |
| Sergei. 16.04.2006 16:02 |
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| Poo, again 16.04.2006 16:59 |
I ate 5 eggs today. In case you would be interested. |
| Sergei. 16.04.2006 17:30 |
What?! No! No hijacking!! |
| Poo, again 16.04.2006 17:32 |
Sorry... Won't happen again. |
| Sergei. 16.04.2006 18:07 |
Worum handelt es sich eigentlich? Ses ist nicht ein seele wen es lesung sich geschichte!!! BITTE!!! BITTE!!! (What is all this about? It is not a soul who is reading this story!!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!) |
| Poo, again 16.04.2006 18:11 |
Aw, I'd read it if I wasn't so tired... |
| RETROLOVE 17.04.2006 00:53 |
Cool story Ferry!!!! Keep it coming! |
| Sergei. 17.04.2006 15:26 |
Why people have to be so fucking mean, I do not know... But I'm keeping my story to myself and my friends (As if I had any.) |
| Sergei. 17.04.2006 17:21 |
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| SomebodyWhoLoves 17.04.2006 18:00 |
Sorry to be rude but can I get the cliff notes version? |
| DreaminQueen 17.04.2006 18:23 |
Keep going dear, i was not home yesterday to read the next chapter, but im reading it and really really enjoying it! You've got talent my friend! Keep going! I have a poem (hope to become a song someday) thats Queen II based, well i was listening to it when i wrote it... but please keep going, but even if no one else comes around, id like to keep reading it... :D |
| Sergei. 17.04.2006 18:49 |
SWL: An insult is not insulting if the person you are trying to offend does not even understand what you are saying. Might I suggest that you stick to "Yo momma" jokes. |
| SomebodyWhoLoves 17.04.2006 18:50 |
TheFairyFeller'sFreakyFan wrote: SWL: An insult is not insulting if the person you are trying to offend does not even understand what you are saying. Might I suggest that you stick to "Yo momma" jokes.What? You don't know what cliff's notes are?? |
| SomebodyWhoLoves 17.04.2006 18:56 |
SomebodyWhoLoves wrote:Oh you're TWELVE. I find it funny that I'm getting insulted by someone who is 12.TheFairyFeller'sFreakyFan wrote: SWL: An insult is not insulting if the person you are trying to offend does not even understand what you are saying. Might I suggest that you stick to "Yo momma" jokes.What? You don't know what cliff's notes are?? Cliff notes are condense summary version of Books that aids the student. Pretty good for a 12 year old though. Keep writing, but you may want to space things out better. |
| Sergei. 17.04.2006 19:22 |
^Oh, because that's what I said about YOUR story xD I wasn't trying to insult you, I do it a lot too. |
| bohemian_queer 17.04.2006 19:27 |
Goodness. Every thread is getting vicious. What is wrong w/ everybody? Chill! Dude-(dude-ette?) your story is quite good, but if you write, it should be something you do for you, not for the comments. People are retarded if they're too lazy to read such a cool story. Oh and I saw your other thread in the "whatever you want" forum.. don't leave. People are pricks, including myself. Sorry about our little bout a few weeks ago. You seem pretty cool. Keep writing. |
| bohemian_queer 17.04.2006 19:28 |
PS you're so lucky you live in Münchin! I'm going there next June/July!!! |
| Sergei. 17.04.2006 20:51 |
xD |
| That guy who digs energy domes 17.04.2006 20:56 |
Put out another one! Please dont make me get the puppy eyes |
| blerp 17.04.2006 23:57 |
This story is so ace! Please keep writing. |
| DreaminQueen 18.04.2006 18:25 |
^^ Please do! You should look into being published... id buy this book... very entertaining and well written!! |
| Micrówave 19.04.2006 15:36 |
yeah, books on Queen are selling like hot cakes. I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. What this story needs is more karate. Maybe a Judo chop here or there.... |
| Sergei. 19.04.2006 17:16 |
Mircrowave wrote: yeah, books on Queen are selling like hot cakes. I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. What this story needs is more karate. Maybe a Judo chop here or there....***sings*** Jealousyyy....Look at him now.... Jealousy...got Microwave somehow... It gave him no warning, took him by surprisee Jealousyyy, you let him onn... |
| Sergei. 19.04.2006 19:23 |
vaginas! |
| Sergei. 19.04.2006 19:55 |
Not my best chapter by far. :-/ The better ones are yet to come. |
| That guy who digs energy domes 19.04.2006 22:09 |
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa masticated chocolate brownie |
| as it began 19.04.2006 22:19 |
This is really good! I know it's odd of me to say but the Feller sort of reminds me of Freddie's personality. |
| Sergei. 21.04.2006 22:28 |
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| DreaminQueen 22.04.2006 00:55 |
Wow!! I really love it more and more with each chapter! I like the analogies you use! Very clever! And very pretty language i must say... LOVE IT! Cheers! |
| That guy who digs energy domes 22.04.2006 01:20 |
Great story and by the way, you have great sensory detail |
| Sergei. 22.04.2006 10:08 |
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| Sergei. 22.04.2006 14:35 |
I have yet to get to the actual interesting parts... sorry. |
| Poo, again 22.04.2006 16:02 |
I'd like to microwave myself... oh, sorry. Didn't mean to spam. |
| Sergei. 22.04.2006 16:38 |
The Millionaire Waltz wrote: I'd like to microwave myself... oh, sorry. Didn't mean to spam.-_- Do you mind just staying away from my threads if all you do on them is spam? I think this is the fourth time. |
| Sergei. 22.04.2006 17:45 |
I put notebook paper in a public toilet today and tried to flush it. Just thought that may be of interest... |
| Sergei. 22.04.2006 18:12 |
**can cans** |
| Sergei. 22.04.2006 19:39 |
Ok, honestly, if no one is reading this then please tell me. My stomach is sick...not sure if it's from excitement or all that sorbitol and mint gum I had. |
| blerp 22.04.2006 19:48 |
Cor, this is a good story, fine details, and, er, hold on, your writing is very good, really! Wowzee, haha, please keep writing, ma'am. I must admit, your Queen II novel kicks the Egg Story's ass. |
| Sergei. 23.04.2006 14:37 |
I was just wondering... Does anyone think I should shorten it? The chapters do seem rather long. |
| Sergei. 23.04.2006 14:43 |
Wow... I just took a look at the photo of the Fairy Feller's master stroke and, uh... turns out the Dragonfly Trumpeter is actually, um... a big, ugly dragonfly with big metallic eyes. And the Feller has a beard. But mine doesn't. |
| Sergei. 23.04.2006 15:07 |
This is so ridiculous... |
| Sergei. 23.04.2006 15:13 |
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| Sergei. 23.04.2006 15:30 |
:o))))))))))) |
| blerp 23.04.2006 17:37 |
Oh my, the end of that bit made me smile. |
| Sergei. 23.04.2006 18:22 |
<b>Yes that sprouted in my head just as I was about to post the most recent section. |
| Sergei. 23.04.2006 18:22 |
Ignore that little b. |
| Sergei. 23.04.2006 18:32 |
Woot! I have finally been able to change the color of my user name! Next section should be up about Tuesday or Wednesday. Thank you to my <h/6>very few</h6> readers. |
| DreaminQueen 23.04.2006 19:35 |
:D Na, dont shorten chapters... itll take away from the story... Keep it coming! Very nice! hehe i liked the ending of that one! ;D |
| Sergei. 23.04.2006 21:51 |
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| That guy who digs energy domes 23.04.2006 22:29 |
Fairy Feller lady, Im going to say this because I love you STOP BEING SO GODDAMN PARANOID YOUR STORY IS EXCELLENT A lot of people are reading it and probably not posting. Keep it up |
| Sergei. 24.04.2006 15:01 |
Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: A lot of people are reading it and probably not posting.I wonder why. |
| Sergei. 24.04.2006 18:18 |
Lol but it still makes me paranoid nonetheless... |
| That guy who digs energy domes 24.04.2006 20:17 |
Chin up, most people just arent smart enough to have an opinion |
| DreaminQueen 24.04.2006 22:07 |
<font color=&#FF0063>Fairy<b>Feller! wrote: Lol but it still makes me paranoid nonetheless...I know how you feel... but you're braver than me because of my paranoia, i wont post my writings on here because i fear no one will read it, or ill get some spammers and nothing more... |
| DreaminQueen 24.04.2006 22:11 |
^^ Anywho, you've got talent, so screw everyone else... Everyone starts out with a small fan base at first, but it can only grow! So keep it up! |
| That guy who digs energy domes 24.04.2006 22:17 |
Im going to request you do the blog too for those of us who are anal retentive |
| DreaminQueen 24.04.2006 22:35 |
lol why would u read it??? |
| That guy who digs energy domes 24.04.2006 22:41 |
no, I mean put the story in a blog, its much easier |
| Ready_Coddie 25.04.2006 01:49 |
As a writer for three years... If this is your first work, then is brilliant, far better than what many could imagine on their first attempt. However, the adverbs and adjectives seem irrelevant or unneeded many times. Also it bears sort of a crash resemblance to the Album Queen II... Reason: The atmosphere in the album suggested more of a heavy fantasy fantasy fiction theme... There were less referances to the normal life. I know you are trying to give the lucid feeling but you need to lighten the material to do it, you are giving too much of those 'arty' touches. Also, the character creation is very unique and appreciatable... Use Wordpad and go to link, they will give a lot of help. |
| Ready_Coddie 25.04.2006 01:54 |
YOU ARE TWELVE???? MAN, YOU ROCK! KEEP ROCKING! |
| Sergei. 25.04.2006 16:36 |
Ready_Coddie wrote: As a writer for three years... If this is your first work, then is brilliant, far better than what many could imagine on their first attempt. However, the adverbs and adjectives seem irrelevant or unneeded many times. Also it bears sort of a crash resemblance to the Album Queen II... Reason: The atmosphere in the album suggested more of a heavy fantasy fantasy fiction theme... There were less referances to the normal life. I know you are trying to give the lucid feeling but you need to lighten the material to do it, you are giving too much of those 'arty' touches. Also, the character creation is very unique and appreciatable... Use Wordpad and go to link, they will give a lot of help.This is mainly because the chapters that I have the most fantastical ideas are for the Ogre Battle, FFMS, and TMOTHBQ. I have lots of unrealistic things in mind... They are yet to come. |
| Sergei. 25.04.2006 16:42 |
But I admit: I am a bit heavy on the details. |
| Sergei. 25.04.2006 17:48 |
Ohhh... I'm afraid to write after that last bit of feedback? Lol |
| Sergei. 25.04.2006 17:49 |
Wait... that ? should be a ! |
| That guy who digs energy domes 25.04.2006 21:19 |
You're being too paranoid darling. |
| beautifulsoup 26.04.2006 01:44 |
<font color=&#FF0063>Fairy<b>Feller! wrote:Hey - I write in two fandoms, and trust me - not everyone who reads will reply. Celebrate for the ones that do. Also, consider that perhaps people don't know what to say, or are shy, or whatever.Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: A lot of people are reading it and probably not posting.I wonder why. Don't sweat it. Supposed lack of feedback is present in all fan fiction fandoms. I promise. |
| Sergei. 26.04.2006 16:13 |
hee haw. |
| beautifulsoup 26.04.2006 18:31 |
Queenzone totally misposted my reply to this thread. |
| DreaminQueen 26.04.2006 19:13 |
Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: You're being too paranoid darling.i bet ive got her beat! :-P But dear, you've got great writing ! Keep it up... |
| That guy who digs energy domes 26.04.2006 20:46 |
DreaminQueen wrote:Well then, we'll have to seeQueen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: You're being too paranoid darling.i bet ive got her beat! :-P But dear, you've got great writing ! Keep it up... |
| That guy who digs energy domes 27.04.2006 22:19 |
Im excited to read Ogre Battle |
| Sergei. 28.04.2006 15:11 |
Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: Im excited to read Ogre BattleYes that is one of the best chapters;Maybe I'll write more over the weekend... |
| That guy who digs energy domes 28.04.2006 17:42 |
<font color=&#FF0063>Fairy<b>Feller! wrote:That and MOTBQ should be goodQueen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: Im excited to read Ogre BattleYes that is one of the best chapters;Maybe I'll write more over the weekend... |
| Sergei. 29.04.2006 20:42 |
I'm actually too busy to keep writing... can you believe my stupid piano teachers KEEP ON giving me MORE songs to practice with only ONE WEEK till the recital?! |
| That guy who digs energy domes 29.04.2006 21:09 |
<font color=&#FF0063>Fairy<b>Feller! wrote: I'm actually too busy to keep writing... can you believe my stupid piano teachers KEEP ON giving me MORE songs to practice with only ONE WEEK till the recital?!She's evil |
| Sergei. 30.04.2006 07:50 |
Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote:He and she.<font color=&#FF0063>Fairy<b>Feller! wrote: I'm actually too busy to keep writing... can you believe my stupid piano teachers KEEP ON giving me MORE songs to practice with only ONE WEEK till the recital?!She's evil My neck is stiff. |
| That guy who digs energy domes 30.04.2006 12:49 |
<font color=&#FF0063>Fairy<b>Feller! wrote:Hey, do you have MSN?Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote:He and she. My neck is stiff.<font color=&#FF0063>Fairy<b>Feller! wrote: I'm actually too busy to keep writing... can you believe my stupid piano teachers KEEP ON giving me MORE songs to practice with only ONE WEEK till the recital?!She's evil |
| Sergei. 30.04.2006 13:25 |
^nope, just AIM and Yahoo. I have a Macintosh. |
| Sergei. 30.04.2006 14:49 |
Oh, wait... I do. bluepowdermonkey05@hotmail.com enjoy. |
| That guy who digs energy domes 30.04.2006 15:01 |
Nice |
| Poo, again 30.04.2006 17:16 |
There's been a lot of talk about msn lately... how strange. |
| That guy who digs energy domes 01.05.2006 12:47 |
MSN is invading |
| Poo, again 01.05.2006 12:49 |
Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: MSN is invadingOh my God, you're one of them! |
| flash! 28068 01.05.2006 13:01 |
The Millionaire Waltz wrote:Ben and msn.... maybe these two should consider marriage!Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: MSN is invadingOh my God, you're one of them! Ok, Ben... got a new msn account... you want my addy? |
| Freya is quietly judging you. 01.05.2006 13:03 |
<font color=red>Flash! wrote:Did I read that right?The Millionaire Waltz wrote:Ok, Ben... got a new msn account... you want my addy?Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: MSN is invadingOh my God, you're one of them! |
| That guy who digs energy domes 01.05.2006 13:17 |
<font color=Violet>Poppy wrote:YES PLEASE! FLASHY! YOURE THE BEST!<font color=red>Flash! wrote:Did I read that right?The Millionaire Waltz wrote:Ok, Ben... got a new msn account... you want my addy?Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: MSN is invadingOh my God, you're one of them! |
| Poo, again 01.05.2006 13:52 |
Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote:Oh, my...<font color=Violet>Poppy wrote:YES PLEASE! FLASHY! YOURE THE BEST!<font color=red>Flash! wrote:Did I read that right?The Millionaire Waltz wrote:Ok, Ben... got a new msn account... you want my addy?Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: MSN is invadingOh my God, you're one of them! |
| That guy who digs energy domes 01.05.2006 21:44 |
Haha, we're taking over! |
| Poo, again 02.05.2006 10:51 |
Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: Haha, we're taking over!You mean YOU are taking over? ;) Please don't include me in your evil plans of world domination. I have plans of my own. |
| That guy who digs energy domes 02.05.2006 20:18 |
The Millionaire Waltz wrote:Me and Poppy are going toQueen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Louvre wrote: Haha, we're taking over!You mean YOU are taking over? ;) Please don't include me in your evil plans of world domination. I have plans of my own. |
| Sergei. 14.05.2006 12:01 |
I'll revive it but it's going to be hard to get the mojo back... |
| That guy who digs energy domes 15.05.2006 12:50 |
Haha! I arsed you into doing it! |
| Sergei. 28.04.2007 11:36 |
I just realised how much of a loser I was then... And still am xD Cookies' writing will be out of comission, er, for a while... :P |
| SomebodyWhoLoves 29.04.2007 10:44 |
What happened to the story? Sounded really good. |
| deleted user 29.04.2007 11:06 |
Haha...one year ago :P |
| Sergei. 29.04.2007 12:07 |
ZeppyQueen wrote: Haha...one year ago :PxD I know... Thank goodness for the search function :P |
| deleted user 29.04.2007 13:00 |
<font color=teal>Cookies!<h6>A scientist wrote:You know, I looked up some of my old posts. Jeez. I was pretty pathetic :PZeppyQueen wrote: Haha...one year ago :PxD I know... Thank goodness for the search function :P |
| Sergei. 30.04.2007 18:05 |
ZeppyQueen wrote:I was too xD I like to look at my progress. :P<font color=teal>Cookies!<h6>A scientist wrote:You know, I looked up some of my old posts. Jeez. I was pretty pathetic :PZeppyQueen wrote: Haha...one year ago :PxD I know... Thank goodness for the search function :P |