| brENsKi 27.11.2005 17:15 |
Fella phones in to work one day: fella: 'Boss, i can't some in today - i'm sick' boss: ' what do you mean, you're sick?' fella: ' boss - i'm very, very sick' boss: 'well exactly how sick are you?' fella: ' i'm in bed with my sister, is that sick enough for you?' |
| Smitty 27.11.2005 17:24 |
Patient: DOCTOR DOCTOR! I THINK I HAVE SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS!! Doc: How long have you had this problem? Patient: What problem? |
| Mrs Taylor 05 27.11.2005 17:29 |
lol *thinks of joke* ummmmmmmmmmm i have no jokes. i live a bland and boring life. |
| Freya is quietly judging you. 27.11.2005 17:30 |
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point, why wasn't she in the kitchen? |
| Mr.Jingles 27.11.2005 17:31 |
(Someone told me this joke in High School. I don't know whether you guys will find it funny or way too sick.) - TEENAGE GIRL: Daddy, can I go to the night club with my friends? - FATHER: Not so fast, baby. You gotta blow me first. - TEENAGE GIRL: But dad, why??!! - FATHER: You know the rules honey, you can't go out until you give me head. - TEENAGE GIRL: Please daddy, just let me go! - FATHER: Sweetie, it's been pretty rough for me since your mom left me. I hope you understand. - TEENAGE GIRL: Geez! OK, Whatever you say daddy. [Teenage girl has no choice but getting down on her knees and please daddy] - TEENAGE GIRL: Pwwwaaaaggh!! Gross!! Your dick tastes like shit! - FATHER: That must be because your brother borrowed the car last night. |
| Rockyuk 27.11.2005 18:13 |
Whats blue, hard and makes women scream in the night? Cotdeath. Whats the difference between a truckfull of bowling balls and a truck full of hungry babies? You cant move the bowling balls with a pitchfork. How do you stop a baby crawling around in cirlces? Nail its other hand down. "Mummy! Mummy! Do The Vietnamese put up Christmas decorations?" "No, But I heard they're hanging Glitter this year" Will Young, Robbie and Kylie went for a night on the town, as they left the night-club, Kylie slipped and got her head stuck between the railings of the fence opposite the club. Robbie decided to take full advantage of this and lifted up her little skirt, pushed her thong to one side and gave her a good seeing to. "Its your turn now, Will" grinned Robbie but Will started crying.Robbie asked "Why are you crying, Will? What's wrong?" Will sobbed "My head won't fit between the railings" Authentic letter sent to Dear Deirdre of The Sun... I am a sailor in the merchant navy. My parents live in South Londonand one of my sisters, who lives in Brixton, is married to a guy from Wales. My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Wormwood Scrubs for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in Wandsworth on remand centre on charges of incest with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who indeed is still a part time working girl in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancee utilising her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being Welsh? I love Dark Comedy |
| inu-liger 27.11.2005 18:31 |
How are KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) and women alike? When you're done with the thighs, you stick your bones in the sticky box. |
| musikal eXistenZ 28.11.2005 00:20 |
A girl and her mother were walking through the park and the little girl saw a man a women kissing. The little girl asked, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mother replied, "Baking a cake". Later that day, the girl and her mother were at the movies. A small sex scene came on. The little girl asked, "Mommy, what are they doing?" Again the mother replied, "Baking a cake". The next morning the little girl told her mother, "Mommy, you and daddy were baking a cake yesterday, weren't you?" The mother asked the girl, "How did you know?" And the little girl replied, "Because I just licked the icing off the couch." |
| Daburcor? 28.11.2005 01:59 |
Mr.Jingles wrote: (Someone told me this joke in High School. I don't know whether you guys will find it funny or way too sick.) - TEENAGE GIRL: Daddy, can I go to the night club with my friends? - FATHER: Not so fast, baby. You gotta blow me first. - TEENAGE GIRL: But dad, why??!! - FATHER: You know the rules honey, you can't go out until you give me head. - TEENAGE GIRL: Please daddy, just let me go! - FATHER: Sweetie, it's been pretty rough for me since your mom left me. I hope you understand. - TEENAGE GIRL: Geez! OK, Whatever you say daddy. [Teenage girl has no choice but getting down on her knees and please daddy] - TEENAGE GIRL: Pwwwaaaaggh!! Gross!! Your dick tastes like shit! - FATHER: That must be because your brother borrowed the car last night.My grandfather told me that one when I was a child of but eight summers... Seriously. My family has always had a wicked sense of humor. |
| deleted user 28.11.2005 10:50 |
Mr.Jingles wrote: (Someone told me this joke in High School. I don't know whether you guys will find it funny or way too sick.) - TEENAGE GIRL: Daddy, can I go to the night club with my friends? - FATHER: Not so fast, baby. You gotta blow me first. - TEENAGE GIRL: But dad, why??!! - FATHER: You know the rules honey, you can't go out until you give me head. - TEENAGE GIRL: Please daddy, just let me go! - FATHER: Sweetie, it's been pretty rough for me since your mom left me. I hope you understand. - TEENAGE GIRL: Geez! OK, Whatever you say daddy. [Teenage girl has no choice but getting down on her knees and please daddy] - TEENAGE GIRL: Pwwwaaaaggh!! Gross!! Your dick tastes like shit! - FATHER: That must be because your brother borrowed the car last night.It's sick! But horribly funny :D |
| Mr.Jingles 28.11.2005 10:56 |
Dan Corson wrote:I wish I had grandparents as cool as your grandpa.Mr.Jingles wrote: (Someone told me this joke in High School. I don't know whether you guys will find it funny or way too sick.) - TEENAGE GIRL: Daddy, can I go to the night club with my friends? - FATHER: Not so fast, baby. You gotta blow me first. - TEENAGE GIRL: But dad, why??!! - FATHER: You know the rules honey, you can't go out until you give me head. - TEENAGE GIRL: Please daddy, just let me go! - FATHER: Sweetie, it's been pretty rough for me since your mom left me. I hope you understand. - TEENAGE GIRL: Geez! OK, Whatever you say daddy. [Teenage girl has no choice but getting down on her knees and please daddy] - TEENAGE GIRL: Pwwwaaaaggh!! Gross!! Your dick tastes like shit! - FATHER: That must be because your brother borrowed the car last night.My grandfather told me that one when I was a child of but eight summers... Seriously. My family has always had a wicked sense of humor. |
| doremi 28.11.2005 14:38 |
Read them all, and LMFAO!!!!!!!!! Great guys! |
| The Fairy King 28.11.2005 19:43 |
The World's Filthiest "Joke": link xD |
| deleted user 28.11.2005 21:59 |
Here's a joke off a tv show. So there's a woman in the bath and a knock comes at the door, so she says, 'Who is it?' and the reply comes, 'It's the blind man can I come in?' So she thinks about it and says, 'Yes come in'. So the blind man walks in and says, 'Nice tits, where do you want me to hang the blind?' |
| MadeInMadhouse 29.11.2005 21:03 |
Wow Dan your grand dad was so sick eh?? |