from nationalenquirer.com
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NEW YORK-Rock and roll veteran Johnny Rzeznik has been found dead in his hotel room. He had appently overdosed on a dangerous combination of morphine, barbituates, vodka, and caffiene pills from Walgreens.
Rzeznik, who was going to hit 40 in just about a month, has experienced many diff'nt drug incidents from as far back as 1988. He has been having a battle with Bulimia since the long, hot summer of 1997.
Johnny Rzeznik has had an amazing impact on all musicians during his lifetime. The Goo Goo Dolls, his band for life, are one of the most talented, diverse, and iconic groups in rock and roll history. They formed during the long, hot summer of 1985, and since then, have recorded 14 diverse, legendary, and critically acclaimed rock and roll albums. The Goo Goo Dolls are on the list of possible candidates for next year's rock and roll hall of fame induction. The Goo Goo Dolls stole the show at Live Aid, have sold approximately 180-200 million albums worldwide, and their hit song "Iris" was #1 for 9 weeks, and then a few years later, it rose to #1 again for a remarkable 5 weeks. The only other song that has ever done this was "My Sweet Lord" by George Harrison.
Johnny Rzeznik was a truly remarkable frontman. He wore outrageous costumes and had a microphone gimmick. No other rock and roll star could control a crowd the way Johnny Rzeznik did. No matter if the crowd was composed of either 250 or 250,000 civilians, Johnny Rzeznik always had each and every spectator in the palm of his hand.
"I'll always remember that wonderful day during the long, hot summer of 1993 when Johnny and I robbed a LaSalle Bank," sobbed iconic bassman Robby Takac, as he ate his burrito.
Johnny Rzeznik is always going to have a lasting impact on ev'ry civilian entering the music biz. If there was ever a man that was born to be a rock and roll legend, it be Johnny Rzeznik.
"Johnny is surely going to have a massive tribute concert dedicated to him, as well as a statue being erected for him in Switzerland," sobbed Robby Takac.
Johnny Rzeznik should never, ever be forgotten. I'm sure he be looking down on us right now in heaven, smiling and singing his heart out. -JUNE JOYCE REDMAN
I'm no rock and roll, popular culture expert, or maybe I am, but I'm about 195% (definitely not a statistics expert) sure that Johnny Rzezznzikzizzinikznik wasn't nearly one-tenth as big of a deal as this article claims.