It's been a long time so write away to your little hearts' content, people!
Sheila in Texas is smitten
With a man who did drum-ish hittin'
Yes, he is too old
And covered with mold
But he's sexy and cute as a kitten
There once was a shrek named Bob
who heard a permed poodle would sob
"There's no answer on the phone
or reply on Queenzone
Why do you think I'm a knob?"
There was once a man from Swotham,
Who took off his balls to wash em,
His wife said Jack,
If you dont put them back
I'll stand on the buggers and squash em.
Lol my boyfriend told me that one.
There is a great band name of Queen,
The finest rockers that have ever been seen,
There's Brian and Roger,
But who's the old codger?
A washed-up, leather trousered has-been.
SHOWALTER: Do you know any Irish limericks?
BLACK: I do, it goes like this:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose rod was so long that he could get ball deep in that
And he'd be all, like, in it, and she'd be like, "Oh baby, don't stop, don't stop! That's my spot, that's my spot! Oh, but be careful because I'm ovulating!"
And then he'd be like, "It's okay, baby, don't worry, because I use the rhythm method!"
And then he shot his junk.
There was an old man from Calcutta
Who was found lying dead in a gutter
The heat from the sun
Burned a hole in his bum
And melted his bollocks like butter.
For the dutchies I made a Queen related limmerick:
Er was eens een zanger uit Londen
Werd door heel wat mannen verslonden
Men zei hem al steeds:
Van zaad krijg je Aids
Nu heeft hij dat zelf ondervonden
Once when at the Queen's for tea
She asked 'Do you burp when you pee?'
I replied (with some wit)
'Do you fart when you shit?'
And felt it was one up to me.
there was an old farmer called Tucker
whose hen was a persistent clucker
til one day he screamed HECK!!!
and wrung the bird's neck
then sighed - 'ah well, that stopped the fucker'
From the depths of the crypt at St. Giles
Came a scream that echoed for miles.
Said the Vicar: "Good gracious!
Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the poor Bishop has piles?"
Music Man wrote: SHOWALTER: Do you know any Irish limericks?
BLACK: I do, it goes like this:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose rod was so long that he could get ball deep in that
And he'd be all, like, in it, and she'd be like, "Oh baby, don't stop, don't stop! That's my spot, that's my spot! Oh, but be careful because I'm ovulating!"
And then he'd be like, "It's okay, baby, don't worry, because I use the rhythm method!"
And then he shot his junk.
Bob The Shrek wrote: There was an old man from Calcutta
Who was found lying dead in a gutter
The heat from the sun
Burned a hole in his bum
And melted his bollocks like butter.
There once was a man from Calcutta
Who spoke with a terrible stutter
At dinner he said
"Please pass the b-bread
And the b-b-b-b-b-b-butter!"
Bob The Shrek wrote: Once when at the Queen's for tea
She asked 'Do you burp when you pee?'
I replied (with some wit)
'Do you fart when you shit?'
And felt it was one up to me.
I'm so happy you decided to reply dear you're always the best at limericks!