Any other players out there?
My pals 'Marvellous' Marvin Kayne, Greg 'The Truth' Lambert, Sir Archie Leach and I often meet up for a game, and I'm usually only too happy to part them from their not so hard-earned lolly.
I can read 'em like a book y'see, and not a particularly gripping one.
Kayne is your steroetypical 'granny' player. An absolute tightwad, no chance of bluffing from him - if he's going all the way - beware. I once saw him chuck a Full House away, and there was only 60p in the pot.
Lambert's a Show Pony. He has no idea what cards he's playing - he's usually too drunk to even look at 'em, yet he'll still go on raising hapharzardly. You can't fathom this type of player: they don't even know their own strategy. All you can hope is that once they break even, they've got their coats on and are off - usually about midnight in Lambert's case, just when we're nicely softening him up, curse him.
Sir Archie is a very dangerous player. He once cleaned me out with five aces - and since that day, I've refused to use girly wildcards. There's no sense filling his glass in the hope of rendering him ratarsed. He'll be the last man standing in a drinking contest. Did you know he can sink a pint in less than 4 seconds? The man has no throat.
You can't beat a bit of poker. You can beat a woman and poke her, if she's so minded - but Texas Hold 'Em is the card game of kings.
What kind of player are you?