battlescene: luke takes on the Darth Vader in a saber battle............
bzzzrrrrr, bzrrrrr wwhhheerrree
as they come together Darth vader whispers:
DV - "ccuuucth, ffuhhhh - luke i know what you're getting for christmas"
LS - "fuck off vader"
more jousting....bzzzrrrrr, bzrrrrr wwhhheerrree
DV - "ccuuucth, ffuhhhh - I said i know what you're getting for christmas luke!"
LS - "and i said...fuck off vader"
....bzzzrrrrr, bzrrrrr wwhhheerrree
DV - "ccuuucth, ffuhhhh - luke i really do know what you're getting for christmas"
LS - "okay smartbollox, as it's only summer right now, how can you possibly know what i'm getting for Christmas?"
DV - "because, ccuuucth, ffuhhhh young master skywanker, when i was out on the edge of the ffuhhhh galaxy, i could feel your presents"
Luke and Obi-Wan go out for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. After ordering their Peking Duck, fried rice and lemon chicken they begin to eat. Obi-Wan does this with the ease you'd expect from a Jedi knight - gracefully manuoevering rice to plate and to mouth, all without spilling a drop. Luke, however, is having a terrible time - trying to use the chopsticks with two hands and more food is going onto the table cloth than his mouth. Obi-Wan watches him sternly for a few minutes, then sighs and says, "Use the forks, Luke."
Ba-dum tschh.
I remember back in 1999 when Episode I came out, this started going around through forwarded e-mails and Star Wars message boards.
Enjoy...
--------------------------------------------------
A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER
towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
- DARTH VADER: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
- LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
- DARTH VADER: "No... I am your father!"
- LUKE: "No, it's not true! It's impossible!"
- DARTH VADER: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."
- LUKE: "NO!"
- DARTH VADER: "Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?"
- LUKE: "Threepio?"
- DARTH VADER: "Yes... Threepio... I built him...when I was 7 years old..."
- LUKE: "No..."
- DARTH VADER: "Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand,
no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp..."
- LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"
- DARTH VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade
Federation Droid Control ship!"
- LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault..."
- DARTH VADER: "Oh, here we go... "Poor me...my father never gave me what I wanted for
my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"
- LUKE: "Shut up..."
- DARTH VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the
Jedi knights!"
- LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon."
- DARTH VADER: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor...10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open...Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here, baby!"
{Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}
- DARTH VADER: "I was wrong... You're not my kid...I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine..."
{Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.}
{Darth Vader looks after him.}
- DARTH VADER: "Get a haircut!"
What do you get when you cross Freddie Mercury and Darth Vadar?
A person who when playing live goes 'Freddie, I Am Your Father' constantly!
Thank ya, thank ya, I'll be here till today.
Mr.Jingles79 wrote: I remember back in 1999 when Episode I came out, this started going around through forwarded e-mails and Star Wars message boards.
Enjoy...
--------------------------------------------------
A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER
towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
- DARTH VADER: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
- LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
- DARTH VADER: "No... I am your father!"
- LUKE: "No, it's not true! It's impossible!"
- DARTH VADER: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."
- LUKE: "NO!"
- DARTH VADER: "Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?"
- LUKE: "Threepio?"
- DARTH VADER: "Yes... Threepio... I built him...when I was 7 years old..."
- LUKE: "No..."
- DARTH VADER: "Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand,
no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp..."
- LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"
- DARTH VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade
Federation Droid Control ship!"
- LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault..."
- DARTH VADER: "Oh, here we go... "Poor me...my father never gave me what I wanted for
my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"
- LUKE: "Shut up..."
- DARTH VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the
Jedi knights!"
- LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon."
- DARTH VADER: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor...10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open...Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here, baby!"
{Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}
- DARTH VADER: "I was wrong... You're not my kid...I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine..."
{Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.}
{Darth Vader looks after him.}
- DARTH VADER: "Get a haircut!"