| -fatty- 2850 07.05.2005 15:19 |
After extensive research that I have discovered that Freddie wasn't the saint he claimed to be. Be warned that the following facts may alter your no doubt rose-tinted memory of Freddie and if you are happy living with the lies, you should read no further. Freddie's acts of generousity were legendery. One day whilst walking through Hyde Park in London, he came across a young homeless man who asked if Freddie had any spare change. Of course Freddie never carried any cash on him but he rushed home to fetch his post office account book. He then withdrew £10,000 in small change (mostly 5 and 10 pence pieces) and took it back to the homeless man in Hyde Park with the aid of a wheelbarrow. He then dumped the 10 grand in change onto the pathway and siad mockingly "Get down on your knees you filthy urchin! Go on crawl on your belly for the pennies I simply cannot be bothered to keep around my massive 10 bedroomed mansion." He then turned his back on the now large group of vagrants and hobos who had ammased and walked away laughing and twirling his moustache between his thumb and forefinger. Freddie like to steal things from hotels. When he died' his house contained 35 bathrobes, 113 ashtrays, 9783 bottles of shower gel and 2 trouser presses. It was later estimated that if wasn't for people like Freddie, hotel bills would be 28% cheaper. Freddie may have been an awsome talent but he was never the most broad minded of individuals. Freddie was openly hetrophobic and felt he could never relax in the company of straight men. "It's not that I have anything against them personally you understand. It's just the thought of guys standing around drinking beer and talking about football and sticking their willies into women's vagi.....Oh My God! I think I'm going to be sick!" said the flamboyant poof. It is not known weather Freddie approved of his bandmates sexuality but Brian May gave an insight to their volatile relationship during an interview in 1976. "Well if Freddie has a problem with straight guy's I geuss he can just kiss my wife's ass." The phrase "killing with kindness" is particularly relevant in Freddie's case. Over a period of seven years, 54 cats died at Garden Lodge from excessive kindness. Many simply could not handle the cavier and goose pate and champagne that Freddie fed them each day and had liver failure. Other's were kept so clean that they had vitually no immune system and died from the slightest infection. One small white kitten named Spook burst into flames after pissing in a mink fur litter tray with an electric blanket at the base. COMING SOON John Deacon's brave battle against indegestion. |
| written_in_the_stars 07.05.2005 15:28 |
what point are you trying to reach here ? |
| -fatty- 2850 07.05.2005 15:40 |
written_in_the_stars wrote: what point are you trying to reach here ?Yeah that's it. You walk around with your eyes closed. You can't handle the truth. fatty. |
| Son of Bryans Permed Poodle 07.05.2005 15:48 |
Ok... here is another well kept secret Did you ever wonder why Mary Austin had so many problems with the Kois... many of them died? Well do you still believe in the fairytale that the final resting place of Freddies ashes is underneeth the "weeping cherry tree" at Garden Lodge as i.e. Jim wanted us all to believe? |
| -fatty- 2850 07.05.2005 15:57 |
I'ts funny that you should mention the death of the koi carp and Freddie's ashes in the same story. The real reason for the death of all those expensive fish is that Mary's eldest son mistakenly fed the ashes to the koi believing it to be fish food. The carp ate Freddie's ashes and contracted the same disease that killed Freddie. Huh?...Huh? Think about it. fatty. |
| Son of Bryans Permed Poodle 07.05.2005 16:09 |
See you solved the riddle! :-)) |
| Son of Bryans Permed Poodle 07.05.2005 16:20 |
By the way... fatty, do you have any information, if he (Mary´s eldest son) is still allowed to call him "Uncle Fred"? ;-) |
| Panza Pedraza - FER 07.05.2005 17:16 |
Jajaa, that was good Fatty. |
| written_in_the_stars 07.05.2005 21:08 |
fatty wrote:I'm keeping my first question. What is actually your point ?written_in_the_stars wrote: what point are you trying to reach here ?Yeah that's it. You walk around with your eyes closed. You can't handle the truth. fatty. |
| _amadeus_ 07.05.2005 21:27 |
Thanks for the information :) Kind hard to believe what he stole from the hotels and stuff O_o |
| sundar 08.05.2005 01:17 |
"Freddie may have been an awsome talent " All of us,with a few exceptions like you perhaps, have always known that.But your ignorance, as your accusations is not totally unexpected, though unwelcome(in my opinion at least). After all ,it takes one to know one.A dolt certainly cannot appreciate genius.In the eyes of the blind, the world is certainly dark. It is just to avoid such insensible trash, that I wish these posts were moderated.Ideally, such messages should not be allowed to be posted,let alone be archived, or even searched. |
| Mercumay88 08.05.2005 02:53 |
Hey Fatty! Thanks for the biggest laugh Ive had in ages on this forum! :) |
| YourValentine 08.05.2005 04:19 |
Very cool, fatty! Heterophobia is such a taboo - it was time that someone brings it up. I am not surprised it was you, lol. |
| Vdo28 08.05.2005 04:26 |
Haha what a bullshit... Thanks for the laugh... (but please do not go on with topics like this) |
| john bodega 08.05.2005 10:31 |
I don't see how anyone could find offense at this, it's not offensive at all. It's also not very funny. It's rather boring. |
| Carol! the Musical 08.05.2005 11:14 |
Lol!! That was hilarious... You have a special talent for making people laugh. Continue writing these posts, Fatty, they´re great, asides from what some people say. Some people here at QueenZone take jokes a little too seriously... I look forward to hearing about John´s brave battle against indegestion! :-P |
| Janet 08.05.2005 12:36 |
For newer people who haven't been around for a long while: fatty has entertained us for years with his satirical stories about Queenzone/zoners and about the members of Queen themselves. Most all of us find fatty's posts to be quite enjoyable and very funny, and a nice break from the usual bickering, monontonous questions, etc. that is the usual Queenzone fare. Take all of it with a grain of salt, and don't be so serious! :-) |
| deleted user 08.05.2005 13:26 |
thank you janet... for a while i looked down upon freddie mercury and thought he was some sort of monster!!! |
| Wombat 08.05.2005 14:02 |
lol |
| Live Killer 08.05.2005 15:01 |
Thanks for the laf fatty!! keep up the good work! |
| dragonzflame 08.05.2005 18:36 |
Yes, again, thank you. Your post was only slightly more entertaining than the numpties who took it so seriously. :-) |
| Mariam 09.05.2005 03:56 |
It' s sully joke. I can understand at it only as bad parody to Freddie's biografic books |
| Oberon 09.05.2005 07:26 |
Maybe we need a "Fatty's stories" forum so that it's clear to everyone even if they're new, that it's a joke. I find them funny. I think Fred would've too. |
| Erin 09.05.2005 09:39 |
fatty wrote: The phrase "killing with kindness" is particularly relevant in Freddie's case. Over a period of seven years, 54 cats died at Garden Lodge from excessive kindness. Many simply could not handle the cavier and goose pate and champagne that Freddie fed them each day and had liver failure. Other's were kept so clean that they had vitually no immune system and died from the slightest infection. One small white kitten named Spook burst into flames after pissing in a mink fur litter tray with an electric blanket at the base.*LOL*!! :-) |
| Sonia Doris 09.05.2005 11:11 |
i am enlightened like always by your posts fatty! ^_^ |
| john bodega 09.05.2005 13:01 |
No no I LIKE satire, I like inventive stuff. That was just boring. I'm sure fatty's other stuff is hilarious. |
| Sonia Doris 10.05.2005 04:45 |
all fatty's stuff are brilliant. wake up! |
| karina21 19.08.2020 15:08 |
Extensive research ? Where did you get these informations from ? Never heard or read anything about 35 bathrobes, 113 ashtrays, 9783 bottles of shower gel and 2 trouser presses stolen by Mercury. Same thing with the cats, from all we all know Mercury didn-t ever mistreat his cats. |
| Invisible Woman 19.08.2020 15:41 |
I see this topic for the first time in these three years as a member here. To me, this looks like bad fanfiction or a bad attempt at humor. |
| Saint Jiub 19.08.2020 19:12 |
Janet wrote: For newer people who haven't been around for a long while: fatty has entertained us for years with his satirical stories about Queenzone/zoners and about the members of Queen themselves. Take all of it with a grain of salt, and don't be so serious! :-)"... and a nice break from the usual bickering ... that is the usual Queenzone fare." Some things have not changed on QZ since 2005. Fatty was a satirical genius. |
| CHEVYMAN 19.08.2020 19:35 |
I agree I read it at first I thought it was real then I caught on. |
| CHEVYMAN 19.08.2020 19:35 |
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| Invisible Woman 19.08.2020 20:34 |
To me, it doesn't look like satire, I don't like it. But ok. Maybe other posts by fatty are better. I didn't read yet. |
| FreddieDearie 20.08.2020 04:01 |
CHEVYMAN wrote: I agree I read it at first I thought it was real then I caught on.You and Invisible Woman have demonstrated you’re easily duped, so it’s not surprising you thought it was real. |
| CHEVYMAN 20.08.2020 09:48 |
Freddie dearie my love I’m rather innocent and easily fooled isn’t that a pity!!!! |
| CHEVYMAN 20.08.2020 09:52 |
I fall in love to quickly and have scars all over the place.I love me a good man to hold at night but you know what men want. So that’s why I hang with my male gay friends no sex involved and I get all the other I require it very nice. |
| CHEVYMAN 20.08.2020 09:55 |
I really don’t care to have sex with a man but of course I have to do it being married and all. But emotionally I need a man to fill complete. |
| CHEVYMAN 20.08.2020 10:12 |
The male body is nicely built it’s strong and appeasing to the eyes but that’s as far as it goes. I can see why men want other men so badly. They are far more interesting species..I thought the part about Freddie getting sick about the Willy and the vagina was funny. I have had some of my male friends tell me they are repulsed by the thought of penitrating a vagina. It was so funny.The part I don’t get about gay men and vaginas though is if your a Dr or nurse don’t you have to medically handle vaginas as apart of your job how do they handle that? Just curious. I have never showed one of my male friends my vagina and I have slept in the same bed with them before . |
| matt z 20.08.2020 13:25 |
Uhhmmmmm ..... I liked the story about "killing with kindness". |
| CHEVYMAN 20.08.2020 16:37 |
Ummmmmmmm Matt, it’s okay I just liked their story I thought it was real at first. I hope I’m not making anyone uncomfortable I’m experiencing a manic phase currently and my senses are inhightened I’m sorry!!!!Im brutally honest when this happens. It’s no worse than them talking about penis right or am I wrong . |
| FreddieDearie 20.08.2020 20:46 |
matt z wrote: Uhhmmmmm ..... I liked the story about "killing with kindness".agreed. |
| FreddieDearie 20.08.2020 20:48 |
CHEVYMAN wrote: Ummmmmmmm Matt, it’s okay I just liked their story I thought it was real at first.Just like you buy into Thor and Lee. Shows you have a pattern of a serious lack of judgment. It was quite obvious the OP was satire. :rolleyes: |
| CHEVYMAN 21.08.2020 22:18 |
I have bought into nothing I just simple listened to what they had to say and they had no outlandish stories to tell like a lot of these others have.The problem people have with them if they do at all is that they don’t carry on with Queens story line of Freddie loves Mary. |