| Erin 01.04.2005 09:31 |
Southern Born & Bred If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles: The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses The North has dating services, The South has family reunions. The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails. The North has double last names, The South has double first names. The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits. The North has green salads, The South has collard greens The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads. The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.. In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store. Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive. Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?" Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mamas taught them how to aim. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. |
| Erin 01.04.2005 09:40 |
I'll keep that in mind..;-) |
| iron eagle 04.04.2005 16:05 |
erin erin erin..... i still can recall the first time i saw grits... i called in cream of wheat... poor lady at shoneys about had a heart attack.. salisbury nc same place where i saw cheerwine... but thats another story hellfireanddamnation |
| KillerQueen840 04.04.2005 16:23 |
This one is so true...for the most part: YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MA WHEN: The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow. When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke...not quinine water. You actually enjoy driving around rotaries. You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer. You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks. You know what they sell at a packie. You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call. You can actually find your way around Boston. Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday. You know what First Night is. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus. You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day. You have never been to Cheers. When the words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together. You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Pats would move to Hartford. You have gone to at least one party at UMass. The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools. You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat. You think Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever. You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs. You pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime. You know how to make a frappe. You know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham's. You actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one. You never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape". You think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger. You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, or both, on field trip in grammar school. You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day. You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line. You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group. You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese. You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language. You've called something "wicked pissa" You have driven to either Rhode Island, New Hampshire or Vermont for a tattoo. You see people like Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), Dicky Barret (The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones), Tracy Bonham, Evan Dando (The Lemonheads) and Ric Ocasek (The Cars) in the local supermarket and it doesn't phase you. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater Know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie) Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS within eyeshot at all times. You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car...year round You still try to order curly fries from Burger King You order iced coffee in January You know what candlepin bowling is You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left. You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop You know what a "regular" coffee is You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts. |
| LiveAidQueen 04.04.2005 16:25 |
I'm from New York and I moved to Mississippi...Quite a change... |
| wstüssyb 04.04.2005 16:37 |
If you move to the south from the north, be sure to speak slow, so they can understand you, and use yeaa and uhhhh every 10 seconds between words, and to wave at every single one, hell every one in the south is family In the north wave at some one you dont know you will get the classic finger or do I know who the fuck you are? take it from some one who has lived in 23 states =-) |
| Sonia Doris 05.04.2005 05:09 |
interesting to know... |
| Daburcor? 05.04.2005 05:51 |
Thanks Erin! I wish someone would have given me that about ten years ago! |
| MetzgerR 05.04.2005 09:55 |
Ooh, I love that list for the Yankees! I went from Akron, Ohio to Florida, and it seemed like an entirely new country to me...I still get laughed at for requesting 'pop' at McDonald's, though... Ja ne! |
| Mr.Jingles 05.04.2005 12:20 |
<font color="lime">KillerQueen840 wrote: This one is so true, and my favorite: YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MA WHEN: The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow. You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.Are you kidding me?? New Englanders are the nicest people compared to New Yorkers. I remember going to MA twice on vacation (once to Boston and the other to Cape Cod) and not one single time I saw some asshole driving at 80mph and switching lanes every 3 seconds. Here in NY you get an attitude everytime you go to a store and ask for something, but in MA even when you go to 'Hot Topic' you are treated nicely by those freaky gothic kids. I'm considering moving to MA if I'm given the chance. Btw, what's your name? I always forget it. |
| KillerQueen840 05.04.2005 14:49 |
Mr.Jingles79 wrote:I'm Jessica. I do love it here in MA. We have had a few close calls where my family almost moved this year, and I'm so glad that we didn't. I'm not posting that to dis MA, cos I wouldn't want to live anywhere else in the USA. Well, atleast not that I know of. hehe<font color="lime">KillerQueen840 wrote: This one is so true, and my favorite: YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MA WHEN: The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow. You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.Are you kidding me?? New Englanders are the nicest people compared to New Yorkers. I remember going to MA twice on vacation (once to Boston and the other to Cape Cod) and not one single time I saw some asshole driving at 80mph and switching lanes every 3 seconds. Here in NY you get an attitude everytime you go to a store and ask for something, but in MA even when you go to 'Hot Topic' you are treated nicely by those freaky gothic kids. I'm considering moving to MA if I'm given the chance. Btw, what's your name? I always forget it. Most of the people from MA are nice, but just like every state you get some of those jerks. I live in a small, peaceful neighborhood. I definately think you should move here. We got a lot of nice historical sites and history to go along with it. But, most of all, I love our seasons (even though you must experience them too, since you live in NY). But on top of everything else...We got the PATRIOTS!!! Anyhow, Massachusetts is awesome. :-) Oh ya, most of that stuff is so true for MA. That little statement you found is probably just in the "bad" parts of MA. There are quite a few old people (no offense) that drive wicked slow too. I would also like to say, we have some of the cheapest gas, not only in New England, but probably outta all the states. Last week it was about $1.75 or so, but now it's been going back up a bit (never stays up forever) so it's $2.01. You just gotta make sure you find the right places to get the low prices. |
| Mr.Jingles 05.04.2005 14:53 |
Hey Jessica, I might be from NY but I have to say that if there's a place in the U.S. that my heart truly belongs to is MA. BTW DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS. GO RED SOX!! Btw, did you ever see that 'Family Guy' episode when all those New Yorker tourists went to Rhode Island and turned everything into a mess. That was hilarious. |
| KillerQueen840 05.04.2005 14:54 |
Ya, Go Red Sox!!!!! :-D Hmm..I didn't see that episode. My brother likes that show, but I don't watch it often. I think I've only seen two or three episodes. I really go for The Simpsons, though. And Survivor. Oh, and while I remember to ask, if I may ask..What part of MA are you considering moving to? |
| Mr.Jingles 05.04.2005 15:16 |
I remember walking around the MIT campus and the surrounding area and loving the whole place. I'd love to have a nice apartment there. |
| KillerQueen840 05.04.2005 15:19 |
My dad is the manager of an Italian restaurant in Cambridge. The owner died, so the whole place is pretty much in his hands. There is this really good Thai place there, best Thai food I have EVER had, it's called Sweet Chilli. Very small joint, but incredible food. Their Pad Thai is a must-get. We live about an hour or so away from Cambridge. |
| Mr.Jingles 05.04.2005 15:35 |
That's it, Cambridge! I forgot the name of that area. I absolutely loved it there and there's nothing better than walk around Cambridge on a sunny afternoon. Btw, Thai food is great! Just like Chinese but with a tropical touch of sweets and fruits. Awesome! |
| LiveAidQueen 05.04.2005 16:14 |
New Yorker's are all full of crap. |