| bigc 30.03.2005 12:50 |
admittely I spend most of my time either in denial over it or just down so I dont think about it, but I have/do suffer from depression, I was diagnosed with it in december2003 and did my best to overcome it, however alot of negative things happened to me at the end of 2004 and I relapsed into it, something I have done again now. It has always been my secret, save a few people, but now I'm tired of pretending I feel fine and happy when I'm obviously not. I think its time to admit to my friends I have depression, I just dunno if its the right thing to do or not.its very important to me so meh, your thoughts? |
| Daburcor? 30.03.2005 14:06 |
I know just how you feel, It is the story of my life. I'd say "Don't worry, It'll get better!" or "Just think positive thoughts, And you'll be fine!", But I know that's bullshit to be quite frank. People seem to think that this is the kind of depression that you can just 'get over' with time, but it isn't. For those who don't know, We aren't talking mere sadness here. Everybody gets sad sometimes. We are talking about an actual chemical imbalance in the brain. Some cases are more extreme than others, of course. I've had it all my life. Through my entire childhood, I knew I was different than the other kids. I'd see them smiling, laughing, and playing and I'd wonder "Why can't I be like that?". As a result, I lost quite a few 'friends'. When I hit 10, I had more and more frequent bouts, And less and less people to talk to. Then, When I got into the seventh grade a few years later, I finally got some help. As it so happened, One of my teachers was a child psychiatrist. He called my parents and told them what he thought was wrong and I was then sent to a doctor. Some people never find out for sure, And thus NEVER get help. Though, Even with help, It's still quite a difficult fight, As anti-depressants only lessen these feelings. As I said, I myself have lost a number of so called 'friends' because I told them about it. They decided that It meant that I was just crazy. But, My REAL friends stuck by me and didn't judge me. I'm sorry to make such a long post about this. The only other thing I have to say is, You should let them know. If they are your real friends, They won't desert you. You never know, Maybe one of them is going through the same thing, And you will have a friend through the fight. |
| deleted user 30.03.2005 14:07 |
I don't see a problem with telling your friends that you have depression. If anything, it may allow them to help you in times of need (if there's ever the need). |
| XcessQueen 30.03.2005 14:24 |
I am depressed for the last few years. |
| Mayboy 30.03.2005 14:27 |
"don't see a problem with telling your friends that you have depression. If anything, it may allow them to help you in times of need (if there's ever the need)." agreed Amanda! REAL friends will stick by u and as Dan said some of them may be going through the same experiences and u can both talk about it. You need friends around u at this time, best of luck |
| Lisser 30.03.2005 14:29 |
In my opinion, if you are in doubt about telling a certain friend or person about your condition, don't tell them. Depression still very much has a stigma attached to it. While this is not your fault, it is reality. It could set you back even further if you are betrayed or abandonded by a "good" friend who chooses not to be there for you bc you suffer from depression. You should not feel obligated to tell your friends, family, or anyone about your condition unless your condition could cause you to harm others or yourself. Do what is right by yourself, get the treatment that you deserve, and have a pleasurable life. You have a right to be happy. Most people are under the assumption that thinking of yourself before others is a selfish thing to do. You must think of yourself before you can be in any position to think about the well being or happiness of others. In short, you are not obligated to disclose the condition that you suffer from to anyone unless the condition you have could cause harm to yourself or others. If you feel like the condition you suffer from could cause you to harm yourself then it would be a good idea to tell one or two trusted people that you can go to in a crisis state. Get the treatment you deserve to have. The treatment that is suitable for you can only be determined by you and your doctor. Take an active role in your treatment. There is no text book way to treat depression. Everyone is different. Discuss things with your doctor and take it from there. Good luck and I think you can already tell we are all here for you. :) |
| bigc 30.03.2005 14:43 |
I just think,rather it out in the open.if people reject me,then they reject me, its perfect inspiration to fire me up against their ignorance and hypocrisy and get better. |
| bigc 30.03.2005 14:43 |
I just think,rather it out in the open.if people reject me,then they reject me, its perfect inspiration to fire me up against their ignorance and hypocrisy and get better. |
| Lisser 30.03.2005 14:53 |
That is another way to look at it if you are capable of doing that consistently. The key word is consistency. I think you will find that your moods will fluctuate. One week you might feel strong. Other days you won't see any purpose. Maybe try and keep a journal to see if this is happening at the same time intervals. Can I ask if you are a male or a female? |
| deleted user 30.03.2005 15:02 |
Sorry to hear about that BigC. Never mind. If anything if your feeling down and you let people know they may beable to help you a bit or try to cheer you up. |
| bigc 30.03.2005 15:39 |
lisser im a guy. makes it worse...girls have closer friends...lol, they bitch about them,but they support/help each other. I cant imagine telling my friends I have depression. They are so used to me as an OTT jokey type person, with cheesy one-liners and wisecracks, its almost like I cant say it cos its just, I dunno,not me? but it is, and therein lies the problem |
| Ander Vørschört 30.03.2005 15:56 |
If it makes you feel better, you aren't alone! I haven't been formally diagnosed, but it's one of those things you know you have, not like cancer, which can go unnoticed for a long time. |
| bigc 30.03.2005 16:05 |
for the first 4 or so months, I never thought it was depression. It wasnt until about 5months in I began to think that. |
| Ander Vørschört 30.03.2005 16:08 |
I mean that you know something is wrong, you just don't feel right, all though yes it comes on slowly with some people. |
| bigc 30.03.2005 16:12 |
yup I used to get these weird headaches,then feel down afterwards, or get triggered to feel down at the smallest things. |
| Lisser 30.03.2005 17:08 |
You should feel no obligation to reveal anything to your friends. Take comfort in telling a close family member or another person you know will not pass judgement on you. Start off slow in revealing if you fear negative responses. Don't feel guilty for not telling anyone. Would you tell everyone right away if you had a wart? Probably not. Just wait until you are comfortable talking about it and revealing it. Get with your doctor first, a doctor you trust. :) |
| bigc 30.03.2005 17:19 |
i want to be open. I lied for the best part of 2 years its time for honesty whether they take it or not |
| Lisser 30.03.2005 17:31 |
Ok sounds like you are ready. Good luck!! :) |
| bigc 30.03.2005 17:41 |
its just putting into words which is the tricky part;) |
| bellydancer 30.03.2005 17:57 |
I know what its like BigC - I've suffered depression myself, have family and friends who have also had it. And yes, its difficult to know who to tell about it as you are afraid people will think you are "crazy" - most people aren't really aware what causes depression. Like when you tell them you have it they say "Oh you seem to be so happy all the time!" If I may give some advice to help you - firstly find yourself some good treating physicians to help you. When I was initially diagnosed, I was landed with both a GP and psychiatrist who had the attitude "take two pills and see you never". Medication alone is NOT going to fix the problem - DO NOT let anyone convince you of that. Be careful if you are prescribed any medication for your condition - search on the web what the side effects are - the first lot of medication I got was addictive, and I would never have taken it had I known and I did ask the doctor but he said it wasn't. The second lot of medication I was on was a Seratonin Re-uptake Inhibitor (SRI) and whilst they can help, if you are on them for a long space of time, say 12 months or so, they can cause problems with your nerve endings - I ended up with an occasional facial tick as the result of it. Get yourself a good therapist - I know there may be a groan there as there is a stigma attached - but it took me 3 goes to finally find a psychiatrist who had the right attitude and who really helped me work through it - he actually said to me that therapy was like a broom sweeping out all the dirt that had happened in my life. And you really need a third person professional to help you sort through the crap and get your life on track. Do some research for alternative therapies - look through your local library, book stores or the net for what sort of treatments there are for depression - I found out that a lack of vitamin B actually effects the seratonin levels so I take that every day and it works. Also, St Johns Wort is a natural alternative to treating depression instead of normal medication. Meditation also helps. EXERCISE!! I know its hard to motiviate yourself to do that even if your not depressed, but again exercise really does help. Most of all Big C, have some belief in yourself that you can get through this. Don't feel ashamed or lesser a human being because you have this condition. Its a medical condition just like any other like asthma, diabetes or epilepsy - but its just not as obvious. Reach out when you need that support and don't be afraid of rejection. Sometimes, you may be surprised how understanding people can be. I hope this has helped you. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here for you! |
| Saint Jiub 30.03.2005 23:29 |
I have bipolar disorder aka manic depression for over 16 years. I have not had problems for over 15 years since being hspitalized 3 times between January to June 1989. I am still on Lithium and Prozac (a seritonin uptake inhibitor). Psychiatric counseling helped me for the first few years after 1989. I no longer see a psychiatrist, but instead am taken care of by my general physician (for the last 3 years?). I urge you to seek counseling and to consider medication. |
| newcastle 86! 16483 31.03.2005 06:33 |
i was diagnosed about 4 years ago, mine is a panic kind of disorder as well as the "feeling low" state of mind, i was prescribed citalopram (ssri) and over time they keep me ok (so far) also weve just had the winter here in the uk and it always feels like i just "stumble" thru it,it makes me mentally low, which of course the tablets help with. Anyway my point being, theres no shame nowadays in feeling like this, (although you always feel a kind of "stigma" attached to it) and the percentage of people who feel depressed is qiute high, (just look at the posts in here) and we should all help each other. martin |
| newcastle 86! 16483 31.03.2005 06:37 |
ps, well said lisser and rip, and whoever else posted positives, just dont keep it in big c! |
| *3*Playful as a pussycat 02.04.2005 13:12 |
awwlink, ill pray for you! nobody deserves to go through depression! you seem to have put up a good fight during all of these years. just dont give up, my friend! *hugs* |
| XcessQueen 02.04.2005 14:32 |
You see... this is one of the reasons why I'm depressed... nobody cares about ME... you probably haven't even noticed 4. post on this topic. :( |
| *3*Playful as a pussycat 02.04.2005 15:22 |
awlink im sorry XcessQueen...okay, to anybody else out there who suffers from depression, I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! PLEASE BE STRONG!!!! |
| XcessQueen 02.04.2005 18:10 |
... thanx ... you're sweet ... |
| Mr.Jingles 02.04.2005 18:18 |
XcessQueen wrote: You see... this is one of the reasons why I'm depressed... nobody cares about ME... you probably haven't even noticed 4. post on this topic. :(We care about you. Perhaps you might not feel the affection from people who you have never met in person as much from someone who you can actually see face to face, but keep in mind that there's a lot of Queenzoners concerned, and who can also relate to your situation. I for once have been through a lot of moments of depression (for personal reasons). Medical depression happens mostly when you can't find a reason why you're feeling depressed, and usually leads to the prescription of medication. When you feel depressed for reasons that you know that affect you personally, then the first show is to consult a psychologist, therapist, or counselour. |
| XcessQueen 02.04.2005 18:55 |
Mr.Jingles79 wrote: We care about you. Perhaps you might not feel the affection from people who you have never met in person as much from someone who you can actually see face to face When you feel depressed for reasons that you know that affect you personally, then the first show is to consult a psychologist, therapist, or counselour.1) Thanx. 2) It is not important to me whether I've met you in person or not. Many people think of internet relationship like it's some kind of imaginary world - but I don't. Every word I read on the screen has the same "weight" for me as the words I hear over the phone or the words someone tells me face to face. No difference. I'm comunicating to people right now, not to things. 3) I know what affects me, but I don't want to go to the shrink, because that would NOT solve anything. Problem would still be there. I want to solve the problem, not to learn how to ignore it. (I'll rather come here or to some other web places and just talk to the people who share some same interests as I do.) I'll tell you a joke which is famous in my country, related to this stuff I wrote about SOLVING instead of IGNORING. A guy comes to the doctor and asks him for some pills for his big diarrhoea problem. So doctor give him pills. Two days later, doctor suddenly realises that he gave the wrong pills to the guy, a pills for calming and relaxation, against nervousness, instead the one against diarrhoea. And he calls patient to come to his office. A guy comes again, and doctor says to him: "I'm so sorry, I gave you the wrong pills the other day, now I'll give you the right ones". "Oh, you don't have to bother, I'm ok now", a guy replies, totally cool and calmed. "What, your diarrhoea has gone?", asks him a doctor. "No, I still have it, but now I'm just not upset about it any more." :)) See? I want to stop shitting my pants, and not to learn how to live with shitty pants every day. And I belive that "psychologist, therapist, or counselour" would try to teach me just that - to live with shitty pants. Because it's all they can do - they can't solve my problems. |
| XcessQueen 02.04.2005 19:07 |
XcessQueen wrote: I want to stop shitting my pants, and not to learn how to live with shitty pants every day.p.s. For those who didin't get it - this is a metaphor! :) |
| *3*Playful as a pussycat 02.04.2005 19:41 |
and a very good metaphor at that! ^.^ |