| Freddie-B 28.01.2005 10:58 |
More History and Background of Songs Want to know where some of Queen's songs originated? You can find out here in my handy guide! Please feel free to request any other songs you'd like to know about, there will be more coming soon. Here's how some of Queen's best known and loved songs came about. I Want to Break Free-Arrested after another night's heavy drink driving/lap dance receiving in Soho, John Deacon is thrown into the darkest dankest prison cell they have at the Old Bailey. The coppers don't recognise him, because he doesn't really stand out on the stage so much as the other flamboyant ones. So, he gets out his primitive mobile phone, to get in touch with his band mates. Freddie, who is happy with the future of his band because Live Aid is coming up and he doesn't know about GHIII and this new tour, receives a text on his mulit-plasma screened, quadrophonic surround sound home text phone saying "It's me, John-I'm in prison!" Freddie replies "Who?" John is shocked and replies "John, John Deacon? In Your Band, you fucking idiot queen-I play bass, the one on your right, big hair but not Brian? We wrote the only good song on Hot Space together?" and Freddie replies "Oh, you! Hi, what are you texting me for? Do you want something?" and John says "Yes, I Want To Break Free" and the rest is history. Pain Is So Close To Pleasure-Freddie experimenting with his love of Munich S&M clubs, trying to work out the thrill. John gets a writing credit because he held Freddie's head under the duvet whilst shooting the I Want To Break Free video and farted until fred nearly suffocated and agreed to credit john on at least 50% of his post Mr Bad Guy Queen work. Don't Lose Your Head-Roger's post-renaissance song of advice to Marie Antoinette. My Baby Does Me-Freddie's not so subtle song about his promiscuous sex life. On the third day of recording the miracle, Freddie was complaining to Brian about how he'd just finished the operatic masterpiece that was the Barcelona album, and now he had to come back to Brian, Roger, and that other bloke just mincing around with songs about Rain falling and Invisible Men. Brian said "Well, why don't you write one of your subtle ballads about your sexuality like Lily of The Valley or In the Lap of the Gods or Bohemian Rhapsody?" Freddie snapped back "Shut up, dickhead, Bohemian Rhapsody isn't about that." Brian, understandably hurt by this says "Well, how the hell am I supposed to know what it's fucking about? You only told Roger, you bastard" and Freddie, calm as christmas, replies "Well dear, why don't you ask Roger?" All of a sudden, Roger's voice rings out over the studio-"Don't even try it, afro!" Brian fucks off, in a big huff. Freddie then decides he may have had a point about subtle songs about love and sex, but realises he can't be arsed, so he bangs out one about shagging and has done with it. And, of course, credits John, because he hasn't forgotten the duvet incident of '84. Great King Rat-Freddie doesn't just look like a mouse for nothing, in his previous life, Zorostrastrians believe he was, in fact, a jester at the court of the evil king of the mice. This is Freddie's flashbacks to his previous life manifesting themselves in song form. Not the first time either, see Fairy Feller's Master stroke. Calling All Girls-Roger's personal ad from 1981. Brian and John were in their hotel room playing tiddlywinks, whilst Roger was out driving cars too fast and shagging every woman he could find and Freddie was out snorting kilos of coke and shagging every anyone he could find. They were bored out of their skulls, and decided to write a song about tiddlywinks. They called it Play The Game. Freddie came back, off his tits again and re-wrote all the lyrics without telling anyone. Fun It-Round about 1978, Roger developed a great antipathy towards the world, and basically cou |
| Pluto 28.01.2005 11:18 |
What about Tie your mother down? |
| Freddie-B 29.01.2005 07:13 |
Tie Your Mother Down- Never ashamed to try something new in the bedroom, Brian had been on a permanent bender ever since A Night At The Opera had sold so well, and made him and the band megastars. Loads of people even forgave him for Sweet Lady, which amazed him, as he had only been taking the piss with that one. Anyway, by the summer of 1976 this bender had reached Roger-esque proportions. He had been drunk for 117 days running, and was on a sexual mission that could have rivalled Freddie's lust for general bum. Although Brian found his solace and satisfaction in the opposite sex. Often though, as he was so drunk all the time, he had to be fairly quick, as his erections were sporadic and short-lived. As a prima donna rock star, the girls had to just lie still and let him have his way with them. A common question for post-coital chat was "What now then?" and Brian, in his coke/jack daniels fuelled haze, would be desperate for more, and he would simply snarl "Tie Your Mother Down" and go and see to her too. Except more often than not he would just pass out and John would have to come and pick him up in his Morris Minor. And some others. Don't Try So Hard-Freddie's 'sequel' song to Relax by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. If you don't know what I mean by that, just listen to the chorus. Brighton Rock-Brian's testament to his favourite book, which he read whilst in hospital recovering from his "Seven Seas Of Rhye" bender. Mustapha-After a massive row during the making of News Of The World, Freddie had accused Roger of "only writing shit" citing Fight From The Inside as "just the latest rank pile of arse you've polluted our albums with". Brian was equally vociferous, shouting across from the other side of the studio "and you fucking ruined my side of Queen II with that loser shit". Freddie was pissing himself by this time. Brian was none too impressed with this either. "By the way Freddie-kins" he snapped "Loser in the end would have been on your side of the bloody album if you hadn't thrown such a fit when we suggested it, and if your songs hadn't been so full of shit. I mean, what the hell is a fairy feller anyway? At least my songs made sense." Freddie stopped smiling. "I did not throw a fit" John looked up from whatever electronic thing he was doing, probably inventing the commodore 64 or something and said "You threw a steam iron, right at my fucking head!" Freddie quietly backed down, and went and told Roy Baker that a stranger had smuggled into the studio and was now inventing a rudimentary computer system. Roy reminded Freddie that this was John, his bass player. Freddie looked blank. Brian continued "Anyway, everyone knows that it's John and I that write the good songs round here, you're both as shit as each other. I'm sure you didn't write that Bohemian Rhapsody and everything else you've done is crap." Now John, who was yet to write a bad song piped up. "You lot are pathetic, you really are! I bet we could put together a song that meant absolutely nothing and people would still buy it, they love us!" Freddie liked this, however unsure he was about who this bloke dressed as a geography supply teacher was, and said "I bet the public love me so much that I'll write a song, and make up not just the words, but the language they're in. We'll open the album with it, and instead of just going "fucking hell, what's that poof been smoking , apart from pole?" People will actually try and figure out what it's about. I bet I can do it! Roger said he would do the same with More Of That Jazz, and John said he'd do his best to write something crap, and came up with If You Can't Beat Them. Brian, on the other hand ploughed on with brilliance, until-forced by the rest of the band to write something shit, he knocked off Fat Bottomed Girls in 10 minutes, basing it on some of the ladies he had met a |
| Gunpowder Gelatine 29.01.2005 14:17 |
Very nice! I love John on his call to Freddie when he says he's "the one on your right, big hair, but not Brian". |
| ♥Killer_Queen1946♥ 29.01.2005 17:36 |
omg, i lived when it said that Freddie went to Roy and said there was a stranger in the studio building a computer system! i laughed so hard! Brilliant! And also she makes me! Afraid that a 6ft 7 afro with clogs! woo! these are great! how about 'The Millionaire Waltz'? |
| flash00. 29.01.2005 19:02 |
lolllll..:)) mother love? and please keep it clean ! lol |
| Awesome-O _4000 29.01.2005 22:22 |
haha... |
| Goo 30.01.2005 21:31 |
I'd love to know about White Queen, Dead on Time and It's Late |
| Freddie-B 31.01.2005 06:51 |
I'm up in scotland at the moment, so not a lot of time for internet surfing, but I will compile my list of those songs, and tell you the entire history behind them, unless Thomas Quinn does it first-for which he really ought to start his own topic. Anyway, my entire Queen history book is sitting here in front of me, so I'll definitely crack on with it!! More songs in a few days. |
| Freddie-B 01.02.2005 10:49 |
The Millionaire Waltz Following the immense in-band controversy about Bohemian Rhapsody and The March Of The Black Queen, most of the band were feeling really rather miffed by about 1975. Brian had gone off on his mad sexual whirlwind of a bender, Roger had been drugged by the very same Brian into a state of permanent comatose, and John was at home playing with his train set. Freddie, on the other hand, was absolutely pissing himself silly at how much luck he’d had. After all, he thought, without any of the rest of them realising, I’ve pilfered two of our most brilliant songs, and credited them both to myself!! Ha ha!! Fucking pair of idiots, that Brian and Roger. Thank god there’s only those two to worry about in the band! All of a sudden, Roy Baker said ‘what about John?’ Freddie did the biggest double take you’ve ever seen outside of a Laurel & Hardy movie and said ‘How the fuck did you know what I was thinking about?’ Roy said ‘Well, you were saying out loud Fred, I heard you from the other room’ Freddie was stumped. ‘Oh, shite’. ‘So’ said Roy, ‘You stole March Of The Black Queen AND Bo Rhap??’ Freddie looked up, ‘well, yes I did. And now you know, so now I’m going to kill you’ and promptly took Roy’s head off with his handy hacksaw. Brian and Roger were lying passed out at home somewhere, when the phone rang. Brian was awake enough to answer it, and dimly put the phone to his ear. Freddie was on the line. ‘Hello afro, I’ve been thinking, and I reckon we should all produce the album between ourselves, we don’t need that Roy bloke!’ Brian said ‘yup, sounds like a plan Freddie, have you asked Roger and John?’ Freddie was stumped again. ‘Roger and who? Go back to sleep numb-skull, I’ll see you in the studio tomorrow.’ Brian wasn’t too impressed with this and said ‘Seeing as you’re so keen to record this bastard album, do you even have any fucking songs this time or is it going to be stealing Noel Cowards B-sides again like it was for the last one?’ Freddie snorted ‘course I’ve got some songs, dipshit. Get to the studio tomorrow. Bring Roger, and we’ll be away. Freddie realised he didn’t have a single song to use, and was afraid that he’d have to just re-hash something else. Of course, what he hadn’t reckoned with was a song that Roy had been working on for his own solo project, The Milliner’s Waltz, about Stone masons in the 17th century French courts. Freddie found the manuscript in the lifeless Roy’s pocket, and did his old trick of re-writing all the lyrics, which made no sense whatsoever, and he didn’t have to tell anyone, he just had to pop down to the old lake with Roy’s body in the back of a car, and just push it gently to its watery resting place. Roger and Brian never worked it out, John just kept on trying to invent his Commodore 64, which was coming along in leaps and bounds. Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy-Freddie’s ‘to-do’ list for March 18th, 1976. Mother Love-In his spare time, John was something of a mentor to the young Wayne Rooney. Although Wayne was only 12 at the time, he would often hang around with John in Liverpool, when john was taking a break from not being noticed by Freddie, and not having a right lot to do in the studio, since Freddie was at home complaining about some cold he had or other. Of course, Wayne has since grown up, and taken up Grandmother Love, which pleased John no end. John has now started work on inventing the Playstation 3, as a way of weaning himself off the thrills of sexually perverting young Everton strikers. White Queen-Ever the chess fan, Brian had roped Freddie into a game one day in 1971. Freddie was losing quite heavily, but mainly because every time Brian moved his knight, Freddie would make ‘hilarious’ horse noises, made much easier by his teeth. Brian, annoyed, would smack him in the face with a handy frying pan, thus knocking him unconscious for a while, during which time Brian would strategically position the pieces. Sadly, this had made him quite complacen |
| deleted user 02.02.2005 20:04 |
i'm not sure about this but i heard that freddie wrote don't stop me now for a comic charecter he created when he was a kid??? |
| Victoria 02.02.2005 20:37 |
These are great! They crack me up! X) Awesome job, Freddie-B. Can you find anything on Death On Two Legs and/or You Take My Breath Away? :) |