These events may be distorted due to the amount of alcohol I have consumed and birds that have smiled at me.
Wednesday 1st December. 4.05p.m
Receive several texts and phone calls as to where the fuck I am. I'm four miles away it's five past four and the coach leaves at half past. The Bentley is in for a service and the bus is my only means of transport. Oh fuck thinks I...ain't no way I'm gonna make it.
4.20 p.m. Incredibly I've made it and barge my way past the old dears but not past the totty in the tight jeans. Lancaster bus station has never looked so good.
4.25 p.m. Good old Flashy is waiting outside the nearest boozer with Greg 'The Truth' Lambert awaiting their favourite knight of the real.
4.30 pm On coach when eight ragamuffins climb aboard with ties akimbo to which 'The Truth' cries that 'The Busted' tour was last week.
4.30 pm - 7.00 pm (ish) After travelling thither and hither over Lancashire we arrive at the MEN arena in Mancester. Spend half a fucking hour in McDonalds trying to get served by an immigrant (probably illegal) in which he gets everything wrong. After stuffing our faces we enter said arena only to be greeted by numerous bars and bars.
7.30 - 8.45 p.m. Indulge in a few snifters and even more toilet stops (paticularly The Truth) as Ash play their part to which we couldn't care less.
8.45 p.m 'Hammer to Fall' is played on the giant video screens and has never sounded better. The crowd goes wild...
to be continued when I can be arsed.
I don't know how the frig you managed to write this last night Archie, you old splurge. We must have drank a couple of breweries out of business. I've only just regained my vision and had to have soup for luncheon. I ain't had soup since the late eighties.
Absolutely capital concert on Wednesday, though.
Be arsed Archie - you brighten up these boards almost as much as I do.
What Sir Archie, the old wheezebag, was so obviously alluding to P_G, was the fact that having so many bars in so small a space can only mean trouble where we two rogues are concerned.
But please don't hesitate if you require any further assistance with any more simple quandaries - what day it is and the like.
I really can't be arsed so in the grand tradition of the animated version of Lord of the Rings I'll finish very quickly and most unsatisfactorily.
Justin was outstanding, the others were standing. The white tiger with Justin aboard flew over the heads of the audience to a multitude of camera flashes and thrown cigarette lighters. 'English Country Garden' contained the Bo Rhap singalong and guitar. 'Love on the Rocks' turned into 'We Will Rock You' (which Justin had to stop or it would have gone on all night). New material sounded good, Justin is losing his hair, we had great seats (could feel the heat from the pyrotechnics) and 'I Believe in a Thing Called Love' was dedicated to Archie and Flashy.
Oh yes there was also 'a liberal use of the word cunt' and fucking (including someone in the audience telling JH to fuck off), much wobbling of arms, the comparison of an aching hand through much keyboard playing to that of 'wanker's cramp' and a security guard collapsing in front of Sir Archie.
All in all a cracking night made all the better by getting flown to the Reform Club in Flashman's helicopter for more booze.
If you get the chance see them because they're better than Let Loose or Big Fun.