|I'm so damn frustrated at the moment and I could really do with some advice, or at least the chance to write down how I feel deep inside.
I have a medical problem which requires a blood test once every week. With my previous Doctor, I had to catch a bus into town and that was just hassle, which is why I changed to my local surgery about 3 months ago.
Anyway, when I starting attending this place, I couldn't help but noticing the very attractive tall, blond girl working at the reception desk. Thinking that I wouldn't stand a chance with her and that she was out of my league, I admired her from a distance. However, one morning the regular nurse wasn't in, and as luck would have it, the girl that I like is qualified to take blood and she duly did the honours - a very pleasant surprise.
Somehow, she managed to squirt saline solution all over my trousers, which was pretty funny in retrospect and I got on pretty well with her. The following week, I saw her again and this time we really got on well together and chatted for about quarter of an hour. When I was about to leave, I plucked up my courage and asked her out for a drink. She looked at me in the eye and said, "Yes, definitely".
I was over the moon, as you lot can probably imagine. I'm not the most social of people, so to find someone who is so gorgeous, that I find it so easy to talk to, was such a great experience and I was on a high for the rest of the week.
However, I rang-up the surgery a week later to speak to my girl and I was rudely told by the other receptionist that staff and patient relationships were not allowed. She wouldn't even let me speak to my lady, so I went straight down to the surgery the following day, feeling absolutely pissed off. Had she changed her mind? If so, why didn't she have the decency to tell me face-to-face?
Well, I saw her at the desk and asked if I could have a word in private. I could tell by the look on her face that she knew exactly what I wanted to speak to her about. When we went into the side room, I told her what I had been told on the phone and I asked her if she had changed her mind. She told me she hadn't, and that she didn't know about that particular rule until after I had rung up the day before, when the head of staff gave her "a mouthful of abuse" for agreing to go out with me. I apologised for putting her in a difficult situation and she said that I could go down and speak to her whenever I wanted to. Feeling really despondent, I left for home.
That was last week, and this morning I had my regular blood test taken by the Doctor himself. I told him about what had happened and I asked him - yes, I bloody asked the Doctor for PERMISSION to go out with a member of his staff!!!! How fucking ridiculous is that??! Anyway, he told me it was NHS policy and out of his hands. Apparently, staff aren't allowed to socialise with patients in case they accidently reveal confidential information about other patients.
I am so torn-up by this situation. I've really fallen for this girl and I can't ask her to risk her job by going out with me in secret - I simply respect her too much. I may write her a letter, but I can't sleep at night because I keep thinking about her. If she told me she wasn't interested, then I would walk away and try to forget her, but I can't just accept this current situation as it seems so unfair to both of us.
|Bob The Shrek
|That ruling is a load of bollocks - they can't dictate who she sees - they might not like it but it's tough titties. You can always quote your EU Human Rights!!
You take her out, wine & dine her and have a happy time together. Any shit from the NHS, give me a call, I'll sort those fuckers out, they almost killed my brother so they are not my favourite people ;-)
|When I first started reading this it sounded like one of those letters that guys write in to jazz mags. You know the sort. They usually start with the line 'I had always admired her from afar' and end up with 'I pumped her six ways from Sunday'.
Arf Arf Arf!
Sorry Ian, I just wanted to point that bit out. I can't really offer any useful advice apart from lying to her bosses.
In fact it could make your relationship all the more thrilling with lots of secret meetings and coded phonecalls and the like.
|I'd say go for it and just act casual when you go into this surgery..reaaaaaaaaal casual.|
|You get back on that bus and ride downtown for your bloodtest, hassle or not. Then you may date whoever you'd like.
btw...how did the staff find out so quickly that you'd asked her out? I dated my husband at our place of employment for a year before anyone knew!
|I agree with Janet. If you want to be with her enough (which it sounds like you do) then I say take that hassle of going to the other hospital and then the NHS will have no say in the matter.
Best of luck!!
|Penis - Vagina
|Be glad that things didn't progress further. Move on and look elsewhere. I don't see any reason to make someone risk their job over this. It sounds to me like the young lady was just being kind. She would have offered her home number otherwise.|
|Fuck those stupid rules...
Keep the relationship out of her workplace, that's the only thing I can tell you. A company perhaps has the right to not allow things in their workplace, but outside they have absolutely no right to control people's lives.
Find a way to get in contact with her without letting people at her job know what's going on. Perhaps wait for her outside when she's done for the day.
I remember once I was very good friends with this girl at work, and we chit-chatted a lot... but just about as much as anyone else, so no big deal. Somehow my manager thought that I was flirting with her and one day he came to me to tell me that he didn't want to have any distractions from people who start dating at work. You don't know how much I wanted to tell him to mind his own fuckin' business.
|You can do it, my friend! I'm with Bob on this one, if they give you a hard time call him. He's one bad dude!|
|Totally agree, Ian, you do what the fuck you want. Bollocks to the rules, If shes happy to see you out of hours thats fine. If she was to discuss patient confidentiality then shes only putting her own neck on the line and Im sure she would know better. This country stinks. Good luck and go for it!!!!!|
|"Apparently, staff aren't allowed to socialise with patients in case they accidently reveal confidential information about other patients."
So it's okay to reveal confidential information about other patients as long as you are not a patient yourself? That doesn't seem to make sense. I agree with everybody else that this is an extremely stupid rule and I have my doubts if it can be legal.
However, you don't want the young woman to lose her job and so it's probably better to have your blood tested somewhere else.
I hope you get well soon and don't need these weekly tests anymore.
|I'm with Miss James. Take your medical business elsewhere ... for two reasons:
1. A schlock unprofessional medical outfit like that does not deserve your business.
2. It removes the the so-called patient / medical practicioner conflict, and gives you the opportunity to follow your heart.
|fuck them, go out and enjoy , you only live once dude|
|You spend your time with that woman. Enjoy your life with her for as long as you both feel the same about each other.
I think it will all work out.
|i agree with LISSER
|While I'm surprised that she didn't know the rule - it seems to me fairly obvious - I'd say fuck it, keep seeing her, but I reckon go to the other surgery. I know you say it's a hassle but would you rather have the hassle or spend the rest of your life wondering what if?
And get her home number.
|One live,live do it carry on with with no matter what if u really like her.|
|I agree with Ms. dragonflamez (Odd. A Kiwi and an Aussie agreeing). Go to another surgery but keep seeing her. Therefore you wouldn't one of her surgery's patients. Presto!|
|Yes, obviously go to the other place again.
Don't listen to people who say "to hell with the rules." That will only get you and her in trouble. Plus, it would be wrong.
|Sir Archie 'Tiffany' Leach
|I would just like to point out that in the dim and distant pass I went out with a medical secretary and was registered at the very practice where she worked. Everybody knew and nobody cared less.
Mind you my medical history can be summed up by
1985 Bruised head
Mind you I binned her when I found out my liver was for sale on ebay. I felt sorry for the poor sap who got that little pressie.
Some of the stories I could tell you, however they're best kept till after you've finished eating...
|I hate to sound here like I'm trying to one-up you, because you're definitely in the messier situation, but I'm actually in a vaguely similar situation (very vague now, mind you). While I am not single and I am quite happy with the young man I'm seeing, I have had a mad crush on somebody for about six months now. Aside from being at least three years older than me, he is also deeply religious, and while he manages to be nice about it, his mother would probably kill him if she realized he was associating with one of Satan's little atheist whores (terminology found on IMDB message board).
In both cases, yours and mine, "fuck the rules" is easier said than done. I take it you don't want to lose the poor woman her job. Just find out whether SHE'S willing to risk it, and if she is, proceed with caution. If she's not, it's going to sting a bit, but it won't mean she doesn't like you, and that will numb it.
|If he changes clinics there is no remotely rational reason why she should lose her job.
Whether her place of employment is remotely rational is another story ...
|I love Geeks.|
|anything you decide, think of your own interest first (what would make you happy). that´s what i always do. but, don´t forget you live in a society where people interract almost every day.
Lisser wrote: I love Geeks.I love you too Lisser :)