It all began in March 2003. During a 'forthcoming publications' meeting, my boss suggested that we rip off the bestselling Shott's Miscellany and publish a book of Scottish trivia. I thought it was a terrible idea and the piss poor sales only went to show how right I was. Never the less we were all asked if we would like to contribute something towards the book.
I submitted four or five pages of hastily thrown together drivel covering subjects ranging from the names of the holes on the old course at St Andrews to accents Sean Connery never bothered attempting in his many films. In fact the only list that was excluded from the book was a list of Scottish slang words which my boss thought were borderline pornographic.
So in the end I submitted the idea of a dictionary of Scots slang words to another publisher. Spank my bottom and call me Hector if he he didn't think it was a damn fine splendid idea. So I spent a couple of weeks writing and illustrating said tome and sent it back expecting a polite 'piss off and never darken our door again'.
The only thing they wanted to change was the title so 'Yer Tea's Oot!' became 'Shut Yer Pus!' and it hits the bookshop shelves this November.
It would make an ideal Christmas gift for anyone who is Scottish, has Scottish family, plans to visit Scotland in the future or is just plain stupid enough to read this kind of shite.
It's available to pre-order on Amazone and the isbn is 1845020367. At only £5.99 it's a real bargain and if I sell enough of them, the publishers have promised not to break my fingers.
P.S If the profile picture button ever gets fixed I'll post a pic of myself at the launch party standing alongside Ford Keirnan and Greg Hemphill of 'Chewin The Fat' and 'Still Game' fame.
Holy fuck. I've been working on my PhD for the last five years. In all probability, when it's finished it'll end up on some dusty shelf, unread, and unnoticed for the rest of time. I published one article in a scholarly journal, for which I was paid exactly zero (in fact, I had to take a subsription to the journal so ended up losing money for my work). You, on the other hand, have been eating pies, drinking Tennents and talking shite for the last 5 years and yet you have a book published!
But seriously...Well done chum. Hope it makes you rich someday. Right now, I'm putting away my feckin dissertation and writing a Harry Potter knock-off...unless you've already got one in the pipeline?
deleted user 15.09.2004 18:28
That's awesome, fatty! A big congratulations to you. :^)
Well done, fatty:)) Finally some recognition of your writing abilities outside Queenzone. I would pre-order but I want a signed copy, I pay for all expenses, promised.
Please upload the picture of the launch event to the picture gallery.
Well, I am extremely tempted to get one for my dad - he was the one who taught me to decipher all those Broons and Oor Wullie annuals so many moons ago. Mind you, it'll cost nine quid to send it out here so maybe I'll send it to my aunty in Dundee and she can give it to him when he's there for Christmas.
You timed it so well...:-)
Awesome work fatty!