Now then Banquo you old fruitloop
Sunday 29th August Mercury appearing live at the Morecambe Arena.
You're invited to spend the night at Flash Towers, in the storm damaged North Tower, after witnessing the amazing Mercury 'concert' with guest appearances from Flashman and my goodself (complete with BM wig). There will be plenty of booze, birds (if you bring them) and the obligatory punch up or two. Bank Holiday the day after so no excuses however this offer will be rescinded when Flashman discovers this message tomorrow unless he's still half cut.
Look forward to meeting your goodself (and birds) on Sunday where we will have a hearty laugh and a bit of a wrestle no doubt.
PS This invitation is open to any bugger as long as they can vouch they are not a nobhead.
It's not yet tomorrow and I'm still half cut so the offer remains valid.
The rates at the Towers are quite reasonable, which is more than you can say for the staff, so any non-nobheads are very welcome. If any birds want to attend, who turn tricks for nowt, then I might even throw in a free breakfast.
The emphasis here is on 'might'. Oh, and 'free'.
I retain the right to withdraw this offer on regaining sobriety.
Sorry I'm away in Brighton. I'm typing this on my friends computer. Came down here last night watched North End getting beat today and tonight I'm and off on the pull. Have to be careful which pubs to choose every second ones a gay bar. Everyone dresses like there in Scissor Sisters. Lager tastes like water, everyone thinks I talk like Peter Kay (I don't) and the train down here was fucking packed and hot.
Wish you were here.