Just thought you'd like to see where I've been sunning myself while you suckers have all been working/bumming for fags/getting on your folk's tits these past few weeks. link
Ah, it's good to be brown, and ladies - it's an all over tan, crack and all.
7 degrees when I landed back in Blighty, and me with my shorts on! Good job I'm all man, I only blubbed a little bit.
Back to the Towers to discover storms have damaged the North Tower which put me in a stinking mood. Sacked a few of the staff which cheered me up no end and bounced the new stablegirl about until lunchtime which set me right completely.
Message from Sir Archie, the old spatula, to meet for snifters down the Reform Club, but fancied Round 2 with aforementioned stablegirl. I predict big things for that wee strumpet. Big purple things, to be exact.
It's good to be Flashy. And it's good to be back.
Seeing as nobody appears to give a hoot as to my safe return from strange lands, I have fed the bottles of Kumquat Liqueur I got for you all to the pigs.
Six of them have died in the last half hour so I hope you're all pleased with yourselves.
I was swimming in that sea last week, and strutting my stuff on that beach, kicking sand in skinny guy's faces. Look where I am now - pissing it down as usual.
But I'm all refreshed Chaz, and I'm ready for the mating season.
