| gayasdaffodil 02.06.2020 17:05 |
Okay guys, when I am talking about quotes I always try to give the source. I couldn't find any proper source for "All my lovers asked me why they couldn't replace Mary, but it's simply impossible. The only friend I've got is Mary and I don't want anybody else. To me, she was my common-law wife. To me, it was a marriage.". The articles which use this quote either show '77 People Magazine as a reference or '85 interview with David WIgg. I looked at '77 People Magazine interview and not even a single word on this quote was mentioned there. (link I checked '85 interview and I only found "At the moment the only friend I've got is Mary. I don't want anybody else" part on that interview. I also found "All my lovers ask me why they can't replace her, but it's simply impossible." from Queenarchives, it was from a unknown interview in 1985. I didn't find anything about common-law wife. Do you know the exact source of it? And it is obvious that the whole quote itself is fake because he didn't say all those things at the same time. He also said that he is not a marrying type and "I can go my own way and she can to hers.". And he also said "Ours is pure friendship.". So why he would say sth like common-law wife? Well maybe he did but I cannot find where. Can you verify? |
| miraclesteinway 03.06.2020 03:52 |
The common-law wife quote certainly appears in either or both "Queen: The New Visual Documentary" (Ken Dean, Omnibus Press, England, 1992) or "Queen: These are the days of our lives The essential Queen Biography" (Stephen Rider, Sanctuary Publishing, 1993). What their sources were for this I have no idea, whether it was an article in the press that was elaborated on by the editor, or whether it was something Freddie actually said, but it definitely appears in one or both of these books. That's the only time I've seen it in print. |
| Green_Room 03.06.2020 10:23 |
I think Freddie was not very comfortable with his sexuality and back in the 70s & 80s it was not that really accepted like it is today so Freddie tried to convince the press that Mary was his common in law wife etc...... It was Jim Hutton that got Freddie to say that Jim was his husband and the Mary quote was discarded. |
| gayasdaffodil 03.06.2020 10:30 |
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| gayasdaffodil 03.06.2020 10:52 |
miraclesteinway, thank you for sources, I didn't read those but I also saw exact quote in "Somebody To Love: The Life, Death and Legacy of Freddie Mercury" and "Freddie Mercury: A Life, In His Own Words". "Somebody To Love" showed "Freddie Mercury: A Life, In His Own Words" as reference for the quote. I also read something like "If everything went normal, we would got married" (I don't remember where), I don't know if it was paraphrased from that kind of quote, or it was something Freddie actualy said. I am wondering the real source because I'd like to know from where Freddie came to say this. Green_Room, I agree, especially interviewing with British press, he generally mentioned Mary when his romantic life was asked. I don't remember anything about Mary in press after 1986. It seems like his relationship with Mary still makes Freddie and Queen more "likeable" or "intriguing" for some new fans, maybe this is why I'm seeing this quote in anywhere related to Queen lately. |
| CHEVYMAN 03.06.2020 22:36 |
Platonic love between a gay man and a woman is tricky it’s not a easy club to belong too. She obviously loved him he loved her but not in the same sense she loved him.This did cause her heart break it would have been easier if he would’ve let her go but he needed her for the press. Thank God Gay men don’t need women for that any longer..The closeness you share between the two of you goes beyond anything physical it’s more of a emotional bond to one another that can be a very special one and healthy. But many times the woman can’t control her emotions and well falls for the man and you can’t help what your heart wants.Thats what happened with Mary. That rarely happens but the positive side to that you don’t fall for all your Gay guy friends it’s a once in a lifetime occurance. That’s my take on their relationship. |
| CHEVYMAN 03.06.2020 23:14 |
Green Room, It’s sad but Queen management still has a lot of the influence on what is released about Freddie even after his death. Even though being Gay is accepted today they still want every new generation to believe he was briefly bisexual and the love of his life was Mary Austin.They discredit anything or try to tear down anything that proves other wise.Why do you think these books are coming out one by Rudi his record producer that Queen supports and another by a Queen photographer Neil Preston that Queen producer supports all have loads of photography with Freddy and Mary Austin in them. |
| gayasdaffodil 03.06.2020 23:59 |
CHEVYMAN, I agree with you totally. I am actually always hesitated to put my thoughts about this topic on words because whenever I do it, people always start an arguement with love of his life thing and always mention about Freddie’s quotes and will. Mary’s interview after Freddie’s death clearly explains what happened with Mary, she was not over him. And people are so blind to see what it was like to be gay in 70’s and 80’s, they think that it was like today. Freddie was more comfortable about those topics with foreigner press which fans’ access is more limited to it because sources and their translations are hard to find. In the case of Brit press, he always said a word about Mary, he had to. The press was already trying to capture him with his men lovers and penetrate his privacy, so Mary was a some sort of shield. And yes there is still too much focus on Mary in new releases which is unnecesary today but there is too much effort to bisexualize him, even among fans. The movie was very succesful on that with Love Of My Life scene for newer fans. I don’t like to claim things about Freddie because I wasn’t there, but there is actual evidence about his homosexuality coming from Phoebe, Jim, Minns and Mary (and many), but people choose to believe he was bisexual, because exaggerated romanticism between Freddie and Mary seems so sweet and attractive, it almost set a relationship goals for some fans. I don’t know if my thoughts have anything to do with the actual question I asked before, I just wanted to state my opinion. This quote is overly used by fans, non-fans, magazines and Queen related releases, so even if it is fake or paraphrased, if you repeated enough it becomes real, if it is real I would like to know the entire conversation to gain more insight. Such a popular quote should come with a real source. |
| CHEVYMAN 04.06.2020 00:34 |
I agree totally I believe she loved him and the heart doesn’t recognize the fact he was gay it only feels what it feels. His heart felt he loved men. Interesting conversation. His buddies have a book coming out about his times with them living as a gay man in Newyork it will give a great insight into his world out away from Queen and the frontman we all knew Rudii”s book and Neil preston”s book will be a lot of Mary photos and Rudi”s book will have one whole chapter on Mary. But if you wanna read a honest book get Thor and Lee’s book it will be out this summer I believe. They have a Go fund me page on twitter under Thor Arnold’s name that gives more info. |
| Dougie 4 04.06.2020 05:15 |
I go solely by how Freddie spoke about Mary...and in the interviews he speaks of her with a lot of love. That does not mean he was not homosexual. It just means he loved her |
| gayasdaffodil 04.06.2020 07:25 |
Dougie 4 It means he hid his homosexuality (mostly because he didn’t want to be stalked by the press). He never talked about his boyfriends except once, and that was about Jim, he still didn’t give any names. He clearly had the idea that "if I wasn’t be gay Mary would be my wife" which he also told himself, this is why he left his belongings to Mary. But with the British press he talked about Mary a lot and every release about Queen is still filled with Mary which erases his gay life. He actually lived gay, I of course don’t know him personally but it is so obvious. He tried to hide his privacy with statements about Mary I can understand that but he has became such a huge gay icon now, and everything about it is tried to be repressed. It is dissapointing because he gave courge to lots of people to come out and be themselves. Since it is pride month, it was a good time to state my resentment about it :) |
| CHEVYMAN 04.06.2020 14:20 |
Men back in the day were raised they should be with girls marry girls . So a lot of them tried to do what they were taught and it was a disaster for many and I think many couldn’t wait to graduate and get the hell out of their parents home. With that freedom was really tough I bet though think about it having the safety of a parents home with all these rules about no sex because we are talking about the 60s when kids listened to their parents. A guy has raging hormones they were probably going nuts so they were having sex with anything that moved lol.I bet a lot of them at first weren’t on good terms with their families it used to be considered a mental illness. A learned behavior and remember it was a criminal behavior to be with another man back then. |
| CHEVYMAN 04.06.2020 14:31 |
I think young men were probably scared back then. I read about the early years of bars getting raided and men as well as women being arrested.So I get why men would gather in clubs to socialize in a safe environment away from public eye. They were taught it was shameful to be who they were . I think that is heartbreaking . To me that is inhuman to treat someone in those ways.To me affection is affection no matter who is receiving it. That’s kinda the goal when folks go to bars in my book they may want hookups but at the end of the day everybody desires love and nobody has the right to determine who and when we get it. |
| CHEVYMAN 04.06.2020 14:44 |
Mary is a hot button for many but yes he did love her but not in the way her heart loved him. His body belonged with men and so did his heart. That’s who he was so he gave her what he could I believe and made sure she was taken care of what a beautiful thing to do.As a woman I get it but a shame she couldn’t break free.Queen productions has kept this fantasy that does look so beautiful alive for the fans that want to see a traditional married family man Freddie. That is so far from the truth hopefully Thor his friends book will shed some light on his life outside London.This part and these men were never spoken of and Queen and Jim Beach want it that way. But it will be an interesting year to watch his truth to finally be born it’s been too long.My suggestion would be get their book read it. |
| gayasdaffodil 04.06.2020 14:59 |
CHEVYMAN He of course loved her, but "not in the way she loved him" part was hard for fans to understand obviously. It's not fans' fault, because it is showed in that way. Still, we can use our logic and read reliable-"non-fantasized" sources to see the truth. Not all fans like unofficial books about Freddie, they blame writers for "revealing" and they don't trust them because they were not objective. That was the case in Jim's book and Phoebe's book. I hope people won't be judgemental about the book that is planned to be released by "NY daughters":) |
| CHEVYMAN 04.06.2020 15:44 |
I hope not either I’m pretty partial to them I guess. |
| CHEVYMAN 04.06.2020 15:47 |
I just hope the fans can be open to a different culture and go in with an open mind. They have honest good intentions and want to tell the truth and really have been brave to put themselves out there. |
| CHEVYMAN 04.06.2020 16:35 |
I hate to keep texting but a lot of people don’t want to hear me about the true side of Freddie . The first time I ever saw Thor was on the Garden Lodge tapes with Jim Hutton, Freddie, Thor’s boyfriend they were all some young dudes lol. I was in total shock I couldn’t stop watching Freddie it was like I was watching someone else . Then it hit me this is him it’s really him how gorgeous could one human being possibly be and people want to deny that.Then I looked at his handsome company all gay men. He was comfortable being his spirited self around the guys I think they are the ones that only saw him as his true self. So there it is my two cents my opinion. |
| gayasdaffodil 04.06.2020 16:59 |
CHEVYMAN, it is good that you're writing these. You're bringing more insight and a different perspective to the topic. Because on other platforms, I always see Twilight kinda romanticism about Freddie, team Mary, team Jim LOL. I like Jim because he made Freddie feel secure in a real relationship. I acknowledge that even after they broke up, he still loved Mary probably above anybody else. But I don't like to romanticize it, and I hate to see comments about this relationship which heterosexualizes Freddie (love of his life kinda stuff or "I wish they had a child together" etc.). And when people like you talk about this stuff, they always say "shut up it is his privacy, his sexuality is not your concern" as if his relationship Mary was not his privacy. It should be talked, it should be acknowledged. He had hard times, he repressed his true self at first and once he came up, he couldn't live his life freely because of the press and homophobia. People should see that he was actually happy to be gay and he lived gay, he just didn't show off. |
| CHEVYMAN 04.06.2020 17:20 |
Like I said I get a person can’t control their heart I have been their myself the only peace I felt I knew it wouldn’t be likely to occur in that manner again. So I do get Mary’s feelings but the press didn’t help her any when they kept feeding the monster. It kept her sick and her hopes up and then Freddie got AIDS she had to face reality. But not for long she inherited everything the good ole press feeds the monster and calls her his widow. Then they create this fantasy film that feeds her monster even more that puts her on a pedal stool as the love as his life again. It’s really not all her fault she just fell in love with a gay man and lost herself in the fantasy.She has lived a lonely life and people making money of lies they write in books off her and Freddie’s name so sad. |
| Invisible Woman 05.06.2020 07:01 |
All that story about Mary and Freddie was made with the help of the band's management and of course the media. And the film followed that line. I know there are various theories and stories about her but I think about her like this. I think she knew from the beginning her role she could play in Freddie's life, she accepted it and eventually got a big part of his property and protected it in her own way. I think Jim figured it out, in his book he described her in that way, as a Freddie's employee or something and close friend. She may have seen Jim as some threat to the property she was to inherit and for her public role rather than as a rival for Freddie's love and she wanted to keep Jim out of the house because of that. I don’t look at it all romantically and I think she was practical in all that situation. She worked for Freddie, she worked for band also. It doesn't have to mean she was in love with Freddie all the time. She did what she was paid to do and probably loved him as a friend, and he loved her just as a friend. Sometimes things are simple even though we think they are complicated. If he wanted Mary to be his wife, he would marry her, if he wanted to have children with her, he would have. But he didn't want it. No one couldn't force him to do so. These quotes were for the public and a kind of compromise. That is my opinion about it. |
| Invisible Woman 05.06.2020 07:22 |
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| Invisible Woman 05.06.2020 07:23 |
I wanted to add something but I have made error. Sorry. |
| CHEVYMAN 05.06.2020 13:38 |
Invisable Woman ,Thanks for your input Mary was very in love with Freddie she wanted him at all costs. She did her job as his beard which helped her live out her fantasy I think the whole situation was painful for her. Then Freddie settles with Jim in the house that in her fantasy was supposed to be for them when he stopped being gay. This didn’t happen in reality this is a normal response for a heart broken woman who is constantly around the man she is still in love with. Her life and his would have been easier if he had broken all ties like many gay men do when they move on. |
| CHEVYMAN 05.06.2020 13:43 |
I want to add most beards don’t experience this level of love and attachment for their men. It makes a huge difference in everything I think. He should’ve found someone not so emotional attached to him to fulfill this job so I believe he could’ve eliminated some of this conflict too.I don’t want create drama but her treatment of his friends that came to visit GL after his death was in question too. She was very cold and not friendly . |
| Invisible Woman 05.06.2020 15:54 |
@CHEVYMAN Maybe. Sometimes I thought Freddie was some kind of obsession for her. But still, I don't think she was in love with him all the time. It would be good that she tell her version about Garden Lodge and everything that happened after she took over the house but I think that's will not happen. |
| CHEVYMAN 05.06.2020 19:37 |
Invisible Woman, She admitted he was her eternal love you don’t just stop loving someone you may be forced to go on with your life yes but that love doesn’t go away especially when you were in the position she was. I imagine she still loves him still even today and will never open up about their life or buisness dealings etc. It is a shame to me that she felt his close friends were such a bother to her they were nothing but niece to her from what I have read. Then she turns once he has passed I’m glad he had men he could talk with because being gay and boyfriends I have a feeling she wasn’t real simpathetic except when maybe when it came time to getting rid of them. |
| CHEVYMAN 05.06.2020 20:35 |
I don’t think Freddie was obsessed with her this will probably be my last post Mary gets plenty of attention as it is.He wasn’t obsessed with her he seemed to be obsessed with finding the right man lol! People we just have to call it how it is this isn’t a Cinderella story and Mary well she didn’t get her prince. She got stuck somewhere in the land of OZ and along with the tin man she’s waiting for a heart.I enjoyed the non dramatic conversations but I just feel like this place could turn team Mary and make no mistake I like them boys I really do. |
| gayasdaffodil 05.06.2020 20:47 |
I don’t hate Mary, but I don’t like her very much either. She was always with his side, she was supportive and helpful and I respect her for that. And I am definitely not a Team Mary material and I don’t think nobody here is :) I also agree that Freddie might’ve been little obsessed about Mary (not as obsessive love, more like being obsessed to be sure that she is happy and satisfied) because of his feelings of regret that was led by cheating. But I do remember what Mary said to John Reid, sth like "I won at the end" which is a solid proof that she lived in her fantasy. I don’t know what kind of person she was until end of the 80’s but she doesn’t look like a kind and a nice person after she started to think that "she was going to win". I don’t mean to offend anybody, just my opinion :) |
| Invisible Woman 05.06.2020 21:11 |
@CHEVYMAN I didn't say that he was obsessed with her. I said that it sometime seems to me that she was obsessed with him. Or I thought I said that. I thought that my English didn't get that bad. :D |
| CHEVYMAN 06.06.2020 16:22 |
Ok I’m sorry language barrier I get what your saying. |
| CHEVYMAN 09.06.2020 17:53 |
I will call truths I’m not a Mary fan either I think she cast a lot of blame on Freddie’s friends for him going out all the time and clubbing and picking up men. I hate to tell her he loved doing that wasn’t anyone going to stop him.Thats the honest truth I think.We all have wants and needs he had his fulfilled by men she had fulfilled by men as well. He didn’t want women nothing wrong with that. |