VALERIAN.
7.5/10
I hope I'm not doing a disservice here. ...but think "THE FIFTH ELEMENT 2.0"
I didn't want to watch this; but the lady did.
I walked in expecting a visually stunning but tedious piece of crap. I was close, but it's not that bad.
It helped about 20 minutes in to just completely ignore the HORRIBLY MISCAST LEADS. ...(*especially Valerian: Dane DeHaan) and internally imagine the same dialogue coming from an actor with CHARISMA.
This dude is more boring than a waiting room. His delivery is dry and emotionless, his acting and emotions don't convey any of the changes and discoveries that emerge in the plot, so none of it becomes believable AND much worse, I never felt that they were ever in peril. It doesn't matter that I'd already sized up who was good and bad during the first act. ...most action films are no brainers.
This film DOES have a beneath the surface allegorical thing about the USA and it's history. If you're like me though you'll have to reimagine someone HEROIC and FUNNY in place of the lead actor. ...otherwise this movie looks kinda inept. It SHOULD be played with humor, its got potential.
it also has some very clever and uniquely imaginative scenes (*particularly the interdimensional shopping Mart excursion) and memorable characters. ...so it's got that going for it. I just wish the lead helped the story along instead of being like a stand in at a recital
Rihanna sucks as usual. She's decent eye candy, but she clearly didn't do much of the dancing. So many of the intercut shots clearly show the hispanic/Arabic woman doing the work. [turns out this is not a Hispanic/Arabic dancer; that's just makeup: but very little covering up was done, she's clearly visible]
You could do a lot worse, but i could imagine some people just up and calling this a POS.
It was horribly miscast but has potential for fun, and a relevant story line. Also note that the female lead had the word ASS dubbed over as BUTT in her speech about the jellyfish. I can imagine it was sanitized a bit to bring a wider viewing audience. It gets pretty cartoony in a potential fun way. ..but the lead actor is just completely out of place here and the two leads have very little chemistry. If i didn't imagine a Bruce Willis you're after a while. ...i might have walked out.
USE THE FORCE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BELIEVE IN IT. ....and it's a decent run. Barely recommended. Don't miss the visuals on the big screen if you're taken in by such things. I saw it in standard viewing though a 3-D plantation is widely available.
Ah. Yeah. That's a good "go-to" film. Mine are AFTER HOURS (1985), TAPEHEADS, DAWN OF THE DEAD(1978* of course)
I just thought this would be a good topical thread for people to post reviews of the films they'd seen in theaters this month.
Hopefully it catches on
THE MUMMY (2017)
I don't know how this film got immediately trashed. ..might have to do with Tom Cruise being derided in Hollywood. It's not brilliant, (*though attempts to explain restraint on the mummy seem somewhat plausible) it's not spectacular, (though there is an abundance of cgi....much of it used tastefully; including an incredible plane crash and disintegration)
I'd figured it'd be BAD, but ENJOYABLY BAD.
Instead it's just pretty enjoyable - an old fashioned narrative adventure tale with archetypes...(good looking suave bad boy/hero anti hero) mythical (*just go with it - why don't you? - this isn't a documentary) creatures and villains; and the first foray into "Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde" made in this new century (*as far as i know)...all done with some subtle humor, and some not so.
THE FILM: Tom Cruise and pal are raiding a prospective tomb in the desert, (*he procured the map by stealing it from an archaeologist he'd bedded one night) which may or may not actually exist. He's military, and is reporting this as some kind of reconnaissance mission (*nice touch about exploitation) although he's just there for wealth. They're both attacked, which leads to a call in from his partner for an air raid. One missile drops, taking with it a dozen Iraqi "insurgents" and freeing "our heroes" way.
The bombing uncovers a tomb. Tomb is occupied by massive security measures and appears to be a prison
I'm short order: Cruise unearths a catacomb immersed in mercury. The EGYPTIAN tomb (*in Iraq - which confounds the arriving military/archaeologist) is transported...on a mummy spirit guided crash flight to England. ...
Yatta yatta yatta... an evil is unleashed. (Mummy back story= descendant and INITIAL heir to her father's throne; she is ousted from this when papa has a boy with a woman....she then kills father and his baby son, makes pact with SET ...evil. .yatta yatta
Russell Crowe IS probably relishing a series to hedge his yearly finances on, as some have said this is beneath him.... I just don't see how ppl have such a condescending attitude - Anthony Hopkins after all, played a ROUSING "Van Helsing" in Bram Stoker's DRACULA. ..and THAT wasn't a career killer.
my criticism would come towards the female lead, who although threatening, doesn't seem menacing beyond her first appearance sucking souls. She's also got very little personality.
Tom Cruise - for a guy who's pretty much like 900 years old he carries himself and the film pretty well.
After the film was released much was made about him having extensive control of the feature production (probably to deflect blame)
Sofia Boutella - Not a very charismatic lead, she's got a one dimensional character bent on anger and even after her reemergence as a resurrected woman, is largely left to posturing (*she IS a dancer/model to begin with.) instead of being a fulfilling conflicted villain (victim of own circumstance) - I'm guessing her acting was bad and much was left on the cutting room floor - as Tom Cruise provides much of the exposition and denouement.....in flashback and spoken word, respectively.
Sure, it takes a few things from other films (Griffin Dunne's ghoul/walking the earth as a spirit companion thing, the tacky use of the classic "world of Gods and Monsters" line)...but it's a serial narrative action film. A pretty decent one imho.
7.7/10 (had to put it above VALERIAN just for enjoyment's sake)