Feel free to contribute:
Please be familiar with the monopoly game to avoid pillorying criticism.
[the initial chance cards presented here]
- You've been spotted by press photographers on an evening with Anita Dobson; divorce imminent. Lose 1/2 your money.
- A chance excursion into a seedy gay bar has left you with mushroom fungus growing on your ****; lose $2,000 [diagnosis]; lose 2 turns"
- Paparazzo have stolen items from your trash; controversy confirmed. Stay in, and lose a turn.
- You've made an appearance in apartheid South Africa; gain $120,000, lose a turn
- You've been at it again at the MINESHAFT; you have 6 years to live; lose $1,000 buying drinks and blow, and lose a turn
- Your guitar busted a string on a solo, crowd complaints are heard; press harangue performance. Lose a turn.
- (*they can't ALL be bad)
- You've upstaged every performer on a worldwide television broadcast, earn $200,000
further down the John. ...
- First album sleeve incorrectly states your name; lose credibility with attractive women at performance, lose $30 (buying drinks), AND lose a turn.
- Hair accidentally dyed green; perform show to manic applause, gain hair product endorsement, gain $4,000
- Break foot cruising local club/bar instigating bar fight; performance suffers, Lose $50,000. (insurance covers $15,000) *[Outcome: +$35,000]
- Injure drumming hand picking up wild roses thrown by fans onstage. Performance delayed, Lose $5,000, lose a turn.
- Press threatens sale of explicit sex tape; management bargains behind the scenes. Lose $15,000
- (Hospital) bedridden with hepatitis, American Tour cancelled; bedridden for weeks, Lose $30; lose 3 turns
- Animal handler sells story to the press "Looked very ill", lose a turn.
- Album HOT SPACE spurs legions of fans to disperse; lose $12,000,000; wait 36 years to recover"
- Crazy Little Thing Called Love tops singles chart; numerous offers pour in; gain $180,000.
- Eddie Murphy grabs your crotch backstage at tv show taping, scornfully but playfully reject advances; "who is he?". Lose a turn. [rimshot]
- Novelty "white rapper" uses "UNDER PRESSURE" sample for song; no initial value, garner $20,000 after next 3 turns.
- John Deacon goes "balls out" during Wembley performance; lose $5 quid over bar room bet claiming that it really happened. *(precedes initial concert release)
- ****COMMUNITY CHEST****
- Find "presumed spent/missing $100 Bill" in your right sock after night at strip club; gain $100.
- Someone has their eye on you! Spend $13k financing music video for IT'S A HARD LIFE
***CHANCE***
- SPEND $28,000 producing QUEEN: THE EYE, gain $326.00 in sales *[net gain: -$26,684.00] Lose a turn.
- Proclaim (once again) "Freddie would have wanted it this way" on television broadcast; Lose credibility, stay home; lose a turn
matt z wrote:
- (Hospital) bedridden with hepatitis, American Tour cancelled; bedridden for weeks, Lose $30; lose 3 turns
- Album HOT SPACE spurs legions of fans to disperse; lose $12,000,000; wait 36 years to recover"
- Eddie Murphy grabs your crotch backstage at tv show taping, scornfully but playfully reject advances; "who is he?". Lose a turn. [rimshot]
Your bassist has split his trousers in the middle of the show and your singer is dying laughing. Spend 100$ in the next clothes store.
Your guitarist has stormed off your studio session for the 17th time in a week. Spend 10000$ for another week studio rental and lose a turn.
Your bassist has said his first word in 15 years. Good job! Gain 100$.
"You decide to tour for first time in 19 years, only to find your chosen singer wears a wig/weave, leather trousers, and over elongates every vowel. Lose half a US Arena of ticket sales. You alienate half your audience and do not get another throw of the dice until you find another replacement, who alienates the other half".
"You record a Christmas single but stupidly do not release an accompanying video for it. Lose 10,000 TV Music channel airplays and associated royalties".
Band decision: forthcoming album will share authorship, all players collect $12,000
- You've won an Ivor Novello award for your new music video!; sales spike; collect $20,000
- Barry Williams (*of Brady Bunch fame) covers your song. Collect $450
- Your new collaborative commercial hits SUPER BOWL SUNDAY; audience disinterested. Lose fans, angrily cash PEPSI cola cheque. Earn $45,000; lose a turn.
- Musical Theater singer proclaims his love for Queen, Brian and that other guy. Sales spike; Earn $15,000
- Bassist proceeds with first solo effort; band in distress, Lose a turn.
- You've shunned completing a collaboration with Michael Jackson; Lose $5 million/or lose the game.
Nice one! My go at it:
- A midget steals all your coke at your birthday. Lose a turn
- You grow a moustache. US popularity down the drain. You lose $ 10 million.
- Your guitar player drops off a skateboard and injures a shoulder. Lose a turn
- Your base player retires. You can continue as if nothing happened.
- You wake up between 7 naked guys and you don't even know their names. Pick a STD card or pay $ 5000 doctors fee.
Alright, the last few were meant to diffuse the fact that the first were kinda. ... mean
- But! funny is funny
- IT'S LATE and you shag a call girl one night at the hotel; wondering aboutit, you write a song that the public doesn't remember; feel disparaged and lose a turn.
- ACROSS THE SEA you bang a groupie in a hotel in Japan and write a song about it; it's only remembered for it's middle eight and bass line. Feel disparaged and lose a turn
- ROLLING STONE magazine rates you "26th greatest guitarist ever". Feel discouraged, lose a turn.
- You compose a musical score for live performances of MACBETH; it's never released. Lose $40,000, and lose a turn.
- You greatly champion a new performer in the press. Guest star in resulting DAPPY video; just lose a turn already
- Your record company puts together a LOT of all your recorded solo efforts. They've sent you an approval copy; it is empty. Lose a turn.
- The cleaning lady has swept out your mountain of coke from your bed. Lose $5,000, and lose a turn
- You've been been replaced on nearly all 80's output with a programmed machine; lose a turn.
- Your doctor says you've gained too much weight; insurance company requests additional performer to the tour. Take your son to work; lose a turn.
- 1980's: Another drummer has taken your fame and your name; feel out of touch, lose a turn.
matt z wrote:
- Your record company puts together a LOT of all your recorded solo efforts. They've sent you an approval copy; it is empty. Lose a turn.
- The cleaning lady has swept out your mountain of coke from your bed. Lose $5,000, and lose a turn
- You've been been replaced on nearly all 80's output with a programmed machine; lose a turn.
- Your doctor says you've gained too much weight; insurance company requests additional performer to the tour. Take your son to work; lose a turn.
- 1980's: Another drummer has taken your fame and your name; feel out of touch, lose a turn.