| john bodega 21.01.2015 09:38 |
I must tell you that being thrown under the bus as an almost-30 feels whackily different to how it did when I was 21. Back then my coping mechanism seemed to be 'drink a lot and then do my best impersonation of Jake over on QZ'. Instead I've been staggering around the house like one of those funny film reels of the guys that got shell shock in WW1. (I had quit posting on this place because I got fed up of the Lambert stupidity but I thought I'd offer up this little bit of toss to pass the time). |
| The Real Wizard 21.01.2015 09:42 |
Women are like the bus - there's another one every ten minutes. Being single at 30 is no different from being single at 21 - as long as you're not following societal ideas that we should somehow be married with two kids in a house with a white picket fence by now. I sure ain't, and I'm older than you. Take this as an opportunity to build something. After a big breakup a couple years back, this article worked wonders for me: link Good to see your wit is still in fine order. Now create something. Ever considered being a writer for Cracked? You definitely are good enough. And I hear they pay well. |
| shannaschaffer 21.01.2015 13:03 |
Sorry to hear that. I wish you the best! |
| Donna13 21.01.2015 17:18 |
What?! |
| inu-liger 22.01.2015 03:16 |
If it makes you feel any better Zeb, I also went through a split at the end of November, after over 5 years together (with two kids). I know exactly how you feel, especially with the "shell shock." |
| Togg 22.01.2015 08:03 |
Hang on in there folks, put for early Queen music on and rock out till the mood passes, play guitar hard, drum fast and annoy the crap out of next door. In time all will pass and life returns to normal best advoce I can give is to throw yourself into a project of some sort and keep busy, before you know it weeks will have passed and life will seem much better |
| shannaschaffer 22.01.2015 11:51 |
I'm so sorry, Inu! |
| BETA215 22.01.2015 12:19 |
I hope both of you, find a better partner for your life (not like me, I think I would never find somebody. :/). |
| The Real Wizard 22.01.2015 14:38 |
Togg wrote: throw yourself into a project of some sort and keep busy, before you know it weeks will have passed and life will seem much better^ this. |
| Donna13 22.01.2015 21:54 |
When I have a shock, I think it takes about three or four days of feeling really sad or disappointed or betrayed (depending on the situation), and then - maybe it is just me, but a survival mechanism then kicks in so that I am not feeling so bad. Acceptance of the situation, wanting to eat again, laughing, being able to enjoy normal activities, and a feeling of peace. Maybe it is denial or a suppression of the really sad thoughts, but it happens (for me). I agree that distraction is good after the initial shock wears off. Do whatever is enjoyable. Know that you are loved, you have a great family and good friends. |
| Saint Jiub 22.01.2015 22:34 |
Look on the bright side ... at least you are not out $10,000 twice this month. The first incident was due the arrogance of the power-hungry president of our homeowner's association, while the 2nd incident was due to a cement encased tire that was abondoned in an adjacent unbuilt subdivision. |
| inu-liger 22.01.2015 23:59 |
shannaschaffer wrote:I'm so sorry, Inu!Thank you Shanna. It was pretty rough, but at least now I'm back to at least 90%. If anything my overall stress levels have gone down to a consistency I've not really enjoyed fully in quite some time, which is good for my health. On the other hand, I did pick up extra part time late night work weeks ago, so my energy and stamina levels have been realt hit and miss some days due to working literally working day and night, some days (no pun intended). So....c'est la vie. |
| inu-liger 23.01.2015 00:04 |
Togg wrote:In time all will pass and life returns to normal best advoce I can give is to throw yourself into a project of some sort and keep busy, before you know it weeks will have passed and life will seem much betterThankfully at least when the split happened, I still had two rock shows to go out of the 6 we've played (as Spekters) since last July, so the music was definitely there to help cope and keep distracted initially. Though I felt a very strange kind of weird being on stage on the Dec. 5th show barely a week after the split happened, to the point where I felt like I was really messing up, except when I listen back to the recording I'm actually playing the same as I've always done (if not MORE creative with some of my fills in some songs!), so go figure that one out. |
| GratefulFan 26.01.2015 13:32 |
Zebonka12 wrote: I must tell you that being thrown under the bus as an almost-30 feels whackily different to how it did when I was 21. Back then my coping mechanism seemed to be 'drink a lot and then do my best impersonation of Jake over on QZ'. Instead I've been staggering around the house like one of those funny film reels of the guys that got shell shock in WW1. (I had quit posting on this place because I got fed up of the Lambert stupidity but I thought I'd offer up this little bit of toss to pass the time).Did you get any honest reasons? Anyway, ugh. And sorry. I never post any more either, but wanted to send you a hug. Break ups can be really hard, and you just have to give yourself whatever time you need. Some personalities are not well set up for loss and while I hope you're quickly resilient, don't get down on yourself if you're not. There are usually things you can do to move forward at least a little more effectively and efficiently. And then one day, you're suddenly pretty okay. |
| Costa86 26.01.2015 16:07 |
Zebonka12 wrote: I must tell you that being thrown under the bus as an almost-30 feels whackily different to how it did when I was 21. Back then my coping mechanism seemed to be 'drink a lot and then do my best impersonation of Jake over on QZ'. Instead I've been staggering around the house like one of those funny film reels of the guys that got shell shock in WW1. (I had quit posting on this place because I got fed up of the Lambert stupidity but I thought I'd offer up this little bit of toss to pass the time).I hear you when you say it feels different when you're approaching 30. We start feeling time is running out and we're going to miss our train. But as the Wizard said, none of us have to fit into some made up social norm of getting married and having kids by a certain age. Keep in mind that so, so, many people who get married in their 20s end up divorcing. When it happens, it will happen. Being almost 30 is still a kid by most people's standards. Give time to yourself to heal, and then start venturing back into the world of "meeting someone". Time is all that can really heal the wound of a broken relationship. The initial change and the memories can feel like murder. But they really do subside with time. The only advice I can give is get down and do stuff. Work for yourself - develop yourself - and when the time comes, you will find someone to spend your life with. |
| Donna13 27.01.2015 01:14 |
Nice to hear from you, GF. I missed your contribution to threads. I would find myself thinking that your opinion was missing from topics. Anyway, I am a little behind on my Zebonka video watching and BarryDennen12 video watching, and was trying to catch up tonight. It is quite an accomplishment - all those funny and interesting podcasts, and movies. I really enjoy the humor! Loved the Baby Blue cover also. Amazing! I have to listen to it over and over. |
| tomchristie22 27.01.2015 10:28 |
Best of luck to you Zebonka, and you also Inu. Zeb and GF, it's understandable that you wouldn't want to post here anymore, but you make the place substantially better when you do. |
| inu-liger 27.01.2015 16:37 |
We need more Zeb around here....and fatty too! |
| Holly2003 27.01.2015 17:28 |
Zebonka12 wrote: I must tell you that being thrown under the bus as an almost-30 feels whackily different to how it did when I was 21. Back then my coping mechanism seemed to be 'drink a lot and then do my best impersonation of Jake over on QZ'. Instead I've been staggering around the house like one of those funny film reels of the guys that got shell shock in WW1. (I had quit posting on this place because I got fed up of the Lambert stupidity but I thought I'd offer up this little bit of toss to pass the time).Set fire to things: it worked for me :) I too miss your particular brand of crazy on Queenzone, even if I rarely agree with anything you say :p And I miss GratefulFan a lot: she's a very sharp lady who ran rings round a few knobends on here until such time as she got very tired of their harassment and left :( |
| Saint Jiub 27.01.2015 19:39 |
"And I miss GratefulFan a lot: she's a very sharp lady who ran rings round a few knobends on here until such time as she got very tired of their harassment and left :( " Amen to that. Right now Holly is the only one left that can "run rings round those knobends". |
| GratefulFan 28.01.2015 11:25 |
Thanks to everybody for the hellos. I miss many of you too. :) |
| GratefulFan 28.01.2015 11:28 |
Panchgani wrote: "And I miss GratefulFan a lot: she's a very sharp lady who ran rings round a few knobends on here until such time as she got very tired of their harassment and left :( " Amen to that. Right now Holly is the only one left that can "run rings round those knobends".There was a Holly thing about JSS being on a trader's shelf recently that made me LOL for ages. LOL. There, I just did it again. :) |
| Thistle 28.01.2015 17:52 |
I for one don't miss that GratefulFan lady ;) :p |
| Sebastian 29.01.2015 06:37 |
You are not alone. |
| GratefulFan 29.01.2015 15:35 |
Yeah, I'm an acquired taste. As in those who have actually acquired taste miss me. :p Ha ha! J/K |
| ludwigs 29.01.2015 16:06 |
Erm......sounds kinda odd??? ;-) |
| Holly2003 29.01.2015 16:58 |
GratefulFan wrote: Yeah, I'm an acquired taste. As in those who have actually acquired taste miss me. :p Ha ha! J/Klmao! :D |
| john bodega 13.02.2015 08:31 |
"Did you get any honest reasons?" At the time it felt like 80% trying to talk me into believing things couldn't work, and 20% 'this is too much for me'. Still a very big 20% obviously but something I wrestled with at the time was the feeling that she was trying to sell me on how hard it would be (for those of y'all who probably don't know, we're in different countries). That part didn't resonate with me because I don't really give a shit about difficulty, I will go through Harlem in a Klan hood if I think there's a worthy point to it. Alas, not to be. My Confederate Flag Tricycle will stay in the garage a little longer. Four weeks in and I still feel like I've swallowed polonium. Aside from recording a couple of crap cover songs, I've just not been interested in doing any of my usual things. Thanks for saying hi all. |
| Donna13 13.02.2015 15:40 |
Thanks for checking back in! |
| catqueen 17.02.2015 15:07 |
So sorry to hear that Scotty... hope you are ok. Long distance is really really hard, and people don't really understand how deep a relationship you can have even at a huge distance. Sometimes it's almost harder, because you put so much effort into really communicating properly because you have to. You can't be lazy in a long distance relationship the way you can when it's 'easier,' and that can make it so much more painful when it ends. Thinking of you hun x |
| Costa86 18.02.2015 03:54 |
catqueen wrote: So sorry to hear that Scotty... hope you are ok. Long distance is really really hard, and people don't really understand how deep a relationship you can have even at a huge distance. Sometimes it's almost harder, because you put so much effort into really communicating properly because you have to. You can't be lazy in a long distance relationship the way you can when it's 'easier,' and that can make it so much more painful when it ends. Thinking of you hun xSome real truth right there. |
| john bodega 18.02.2015 10:09 |
For sure, it's definitely a 'shit or bust' affair. |