I want to coach a team of illegal Somali immigrants who had to swim to shore after their boat tanked in the Mediterranean.
The old pros will look at my club with skeptical eyes, but we'll be on the top in no time.
Swimming *is* good exercise for football players. Are you going for ethnic Somalis, Benadiris, Bantu, or a mixed team? Would you consider getting a goalkeeper from Tanzania? Masai men have a great physique for that kind of thing, but you might have trouble convincing them to swim to shore. Also, don't get pirates. The games will be exciting and fun to watch, but you'll soon either be disqualified or left with a dead referee.
Ha! It's funny how a simple line can trigger a memory - this reminded me of when I was at school, and playing a year 5 v year 6 challenge match: I was in year 5, and was a defensive midfielder. I didn't score many goals, and in this match, hit the bar and post, and had a long-range effort hacked off the line. Eventually, I netted my first ever goal for the year-group, and ran away excited - just for one of the year six guys to laugh at me, saying I had "run away like a pirate". I didn't quite get why he said it, but thanks for reminding me :)