| last-horizon 42265 29.01.2011 19:39 |
Let's say that you are given the chance to choose between one of these eleven gifts. The one you choose can be used as many times you want during the rest of your life, but you can never ever change your choice. Which one would you take? 1) You will feel no pain again in your life (either sentimental or physical) whatever you have to face. 2) You become immortal (but still get older). 3) You never get older (but you are not immortal). You live a natural life time, only that you do not age. 4) You can become whoever you want in the world (one day you can be Paul McCartney, next day you can be Hugh Hefner, then Donald Trump, etc). 5) You can fly. 6) You can travel in time (back & forth - however what you do in the past does not affect the present/future - let's says that it opens a parallel world and when you return to the present nothing has been altered). 7) You can teletransportate yourself to wherever you want to. 8) You have access to best / all kind of exclusive areas in the world. For example: you go to a concert, you have access to backstage and best sittings. You take a fly, you go to business. You are near a TV station, you have instant access to attend whatever show you want to plus backstage, etc. You are near a recording studio, you can attend your favourite band's recording or reharsal, etc. 9) You will no longer need money again in your life (this is even better than being a billionaire). You can have whatever you want to, and you do not need money to have it. You just can get it. You go to the most fancy and exclusive restaurant and order for free, you can travel for free, get clothings, electronics, cars or houses for free, etc. 10) You can have sex with whoever you like, wherever you like, whenever you like, how many times you want and in the scenario or way that you want - including with more than one person at a time. In other words, you can make all your fantasies true. And you are guaranteed that, in case that you are involved, married or whatever, it is permitted by your partner and this choice won't affect a hair of your stable relationship with the person you love. 11) Heal people from all kind of deseases or pains (important or insignificant). Note: it is not permitted to interact between the choices. For example, not because you have access to option #9, you have high chances for #8 or #10. That is not the idea, so please do not consider your choice with that in mind. Think about these as isolated choices. |
| -fatty- 2850 30.01.2011 05:15 |
I like these kinds of questions so hypothetically speaking, I'm going to pretend I tried all eleven options. Okay so I chose option 1and the first thing I did was plunge my hand straight into a deep-fat fryer to see if it worked. It was great. I never felt a thing. Mind you, a day or so later my hand had swelled up to the size of a Christmas ham and was covered in weeping sores. This is ,of course, never bothered me in the slightest and it wasn't until the next evening while I was sitting watching Eastenders on television (another example of my amazing ability to endure pain) that my hand exploded and covered my family in a shower of blood, bone and yellow pus. Had it not been for the fact that I was completely immune to emotional pain as well as physical pain I might have taken my wife's hysterical screaming as an indication that all was not well and sought medical attention. Alas I sat in my armchair in a state of bliss and looked forward to the two and a half hour omnibus edition of Hollyoaks while the infection crawled up my arm and eventually stopped my heart. Looking back on it, I can now see that option 2 was a big mistake. I'm now 288 years old and live in a large fish tank filled with formaldhhyde. My great great great great great great grandchildren never come to visit me and Queen still haven't released those fucking box sets. I wasn't in what you'd call "great shape" to begin with when I signed up for option 3 but I'm still surprisingly fit and healthy for a man in his late eighties. However I spend 24 hours a day looking after my wife who is blind, incontinent and suffers from Alzheimers. The past 50 years have been a complete waste of time and I'm looking forward to the day I die. Option 4 was great fun to begin with but boredom soon set in and I now use my gift for malicious purposes. So far I've been the Pope and raped a nun. Told racist jokes as Bono and Nelson Mandella isn't quite as respected as he used to be since I appeared on telly in his body and suggested that the holocaust was a myth. I should have read the terms and conditions a little more closely before taking option 5. I was looking forward to flying through to Grand Canyon just like Superman but in order to get there, I have to fly across the Atlantic Ocean. I'm now less than thirty miles off the west coast of Scotland and my arms are fucking knackered. I don't think I'm going to make it. Option 6 is without a doubt, the best so far. I've been back to see the dinosaurs, witnessed the birth of Jesus, and had a front row seat at the battle of Hastings. I tried to do some good by warning people about things like Hitler, the death of Princess Diana and the World Trade Centre attacks but when I get back, things have alaways happened so there'd not much point. I now just travel forward in time to check next week's lottery numbers and see if the Queen box sets have been released. So far I've gone as far as Doomsday and there's still no sign. Option 7 is great as well. I suppose I should be using this awsome power to help people but to be honest I just use it to steal things and look at women getting undressed. To be honest I couldn't see the point of Option 8 at all so I never even bothered. Option 9 was brilliant. I travelled the world, first class of course. I stayed in the fanciest hotels. I ate gourmet food, drank fine wine and enjoyed the company of many many beautiful ladies (prostitutes). However, that kind of power can corrupt even the most moral of men so you can only imagine how long it took for a scumbag like me. I'm now serving a life sentence for conspiracy to murder but on the upside, I don't have to pay for my tobacco, shoe-polish hooch or dirty books. I took option 10 and within a week, my willy was red-raw. I had Reece Witherspoon, Keira Knightly (and daily) Jessica Alba, That Indian girl who used to be a nurse in Casualty. I think she was in Ideal as well, Minnie Driver (twice in one night). Then I got drunk and had a threesome with Lady GaGa and Anne Widdicombe. To be honest it's just no fun anymore, So I'm stuck with Option 11 and I never get a minutes fucking peace. fatty |
| lalaalalaa 30.01.2011 08:17 |
I'll take option 12 Death |
| Major Tom 30.01.2011 09:44 |
7, FFS! ZAP! > Fort Knox, in and out within 10 seconds. ZAP! > Sell the gold and have a fucking steak dinner at my fav. restaurant. ZAP! > Empty my locker, take a giant dump on my bosses desk. ZAP! > Check in at Caesars Palace and never leave the room. |
| thomasquinn 32989 30.01.2011 12:00 |
I wouldn't be much of an historian if I *didn't* say 6. So option six it is. Now I just have to decide where (when?) to go first. Perhaps I'd better start by traveling forward in time ten years to see if I've decided yet. |
| Sebastian 30.01.2011 21:35 |
Sex of course. And Kristen Stewart would be the victim, most of the times at least. |
| lalaalalaa 30.01.2011 22:30 |
Jesus already had number 11 |
| pittrek 31.01.2011 00:54 |
Who wants to live forever ? |
| Thistle 31.01.2011 11:18 |
Sex, obviously. And pretty much always with this girl.... link Actually, it would be time-travel. I know it wouldn't alter the present, but there are so many people I miss that I could do with talking to right now. |
| greaserkat 31.01.2011 17:28 |
I would do the travel through time. I'd take recordings of what is going on in the world now and travel back to when Jesus was alive and ask what he thinks about all this "religious people" and their faith and actions. I'd also go back to the signing of the Declaration of Independence and show the founding fathers of the U.S. how modern times has translated the constitution, and also to see the look on their faces when I show them we have a black president now. I'd then video record what they have to say about the modern times and show their responces to the world today, |
| YourValentine 01.02.2011 03:50 |
Great post, fatty - and so educational:-) We should really be careful what we wish for. |
| Amazon 01.02.2011 12:00 |
Fatty, brilliant post as usual! :D You're a fucking genius!!! :D :D :D |
| john bodega 06.02.2011 02:57 |
9) sounds alright, but not the way you describe it. I don't see the fascination with spending money. I'd love money if it didn't run out, but as for actually spending it on more things than you really have a use for - yuck. |
| Freya is quietly judging you. 06.02.2011 05:55 |
I'd pick 4, because if you're clever with it, you can do a lot of the other things on the list with it. |
| Thistle 06.02.2011 19:21 |
Freya is quietly judging you. wrote: I'd pick 4, because if you're clever with it, you can do a lot of the other things on the list with it. ============================================================================================= Would be nice! But apparently it's not permitted to interact between the options lol |
| thomasquinn 32989 07.02.2011 06:45 |
Thistleboy 1980 wrote: Freya is quietly judging you. wrote: I'd pick 4, because if you're clever with it, you can do a lot of the other things on the list with it. ============================================================================================= Would be nice! But apparently it's not permitted to interact between the options lol ===== Yeah, but to name just one example, if you choose no. 4 and decide to be, say, Johnny Depp for a day, who is going to stop you from a) having sex with anyone you like b) getting into "exclusive" areas anywhere, etc.? |
| Thistle 07.02.2011 10:11 |
ThomasQuinn wrote: Yeah, but to name just one example, if you choose no. 4 and decide to be, say, Johnny Depp for a day, who is going to stop you from a) having sex with anyone you like b) getting into "exclusive" areas anywhere, etc.? ============================================================================================= The one who gave you the power in the first place hehe |
| thomasquinn 32989 08.02.2011 10:59 |
Thistleboy 1980 wrote: ThomasQuinn wrote: Yeah, but to name just one example, if you choose no. 4 and decide to be, say, Johnny Depp for a day, who is going to stop you from a) having sex with anyone you like b) getting into "exclusive" areas anywhere, etc.? ============================================================================================= The one who gave you the power in the first place hehe ========== Interesting. I hadn't thought of the 'power' having a personified origin. I just assumed them to be random weird stuff that happens all the time. |
| Thistle 08.02.2011 12:18 |
Well, the thread started with "let's say you were given the chance to choose", which kind of suggests that someone is giving you your chosen power. Also, the closing line of the opening post told you about the rule of not interacting between the choices. I know it's just all fun, but I've always been one who played it by the book lol |
| lalaalalaa 08.02.2011 14:56 |
4) You can become whoever you want in the world I'll become the person that gave me my power............. |
