| Mr.Jingles 18.09.2008 12:45 |
If so, do you think you did deserve it for being a brat, or do you think they went too far by using physical punishment. |
| Poo, again 18.09.2008 12:47 |
Occasionally. Yes, I deserved it. |
| Matias Merçeauroix 18.09.2008 13:08 |
UNTIL I BECAME STRONG AND KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF THEM BOTH. I BECAME A SUPER SAIYAN. Cheers, Hor |
| Erin 18.09.2008 13:09 |
My dad did. Did I deserve it? No. I don't believe in any physical punishment. Taking away their favorite stuff is much more effective, I think. |
| Mr Mercury 18.09.2008 13:10 |
Mr.Jingles wrote: If so, do you think you did deserve it for being a brat, or do you think they went too far by using physical punishment.Yes they did although it was not that often. And yes I did deserve it. I would hate to be a parent these days since it appears that you cant hit your kids who have stepped out of line (and I dont mean batter them to within an inch of their lives btw... thats waaaaaayyyyy too far) without some meddling do-gooder stepping in and reporting you. |
| Bob The Shrek 18.09.2008 13:12 |
I was smacked as a kid and not just by my parents - my friends parents and my teachers used to give me a clip round the head now and again! Consequently I have never been in trouble with the police, never done drugs, never broken into someone's house, never vandalised or stole cars and I never carry a weapon of any sort. Compare that to the kids of today and I am glad that I grew up in the 60's. |
| Lisser 18.09.2008 13:16 |
I was spanked by my dad with a wooden paddle. My dad was a Marine and took no shit from either my brother or I. We knew what was expected of us and if we did not do that then we were spanked. Did it help me as a parent or as a contributing citizen, I can't say for sure. I think there are better ways of handling children who misbehave but all children are different. I have two of my own and yes, there are times where I would really like to give them a wack on the butt, but I calm down and talk to them about why they should not do what they have done. I will admit I have spanked them both before though and I felt like shit after, that is when I knew spanking was not the answer...for me at least, to get my children to behave the proper way. I feel it is my responsibility to explain to them what is expected of them before any "accidents" happen. If they choose to disobey then they will be punished, but I won't physically hurt them. I'll take something away from them or sit them in time out. Also, the age of the child needs to be taken in to consideration when a punishment is given. I can't sit Anthony in time out for the same time I would Cameron. Cameron is ten, Anthony is 5. Many times if I can see that they are getting ready to do something they shouldn't be doing, I'll let them experience the natural consequence of it, like say if they are riding their bike too fast and they crash. Sure they have a skinned up knee or elbow, but next time they will learn not to be so wreckless. Letting them learn some things on their own is good for them....after all, parents don't know shit anyway right? ;) |
| john bodega 18.09.2008 13:44 |
I'm only an uncle, not a parent, but I have to say there's a hundred better ways of controlling the little shits than smacking them. And that's basically what you want to do, if you're hitting your kids; dumb them down and get them used to a life of being controlled and subordinate. I hate to sound like Treasure Moment but that's the culture we've arrived at, and unfortunately one that we seem to be perpetuating.... Having said that, I think my parents should have beat me a bit when I was little. It's too late now; I'm 22, my life is a failure, and nobody can kick me in the arse to get me moving. |
| .DeaconJohn. 18.09.2008 14:47 |
I was hit once or twice; a rare occourance as I was generally a well behaved child. However I'd like to think that if I ever had kids, I would never hit them. There's a difference between your kids being scared of you and respecting you. You shouldn't have to hit your kids for them to respect you. |
| Janet 18.09.2008 15:06 |
I was never hit by my parents as a child. Nor did I ever hit my son, who is now 21. I believe there are more effective forms of punishment. |
| April 18.09.2008 15:13 |
My parents used to hit me when i was a child, sometimes they slapped me, sometimes hit me with a belt. It was all because I was a very stubborn child and talked back. Probably they got irritated. But I never did anything wrong! Now I think they shouldn't have done it, they should have tried to talk to me, now I understand I would have liked that. |
| Erin 18.09.2008 15:19 |
April wrote: My parents used to hit me when i was a child, sometimes they slapped me, sometimes hit me with a belt.That is exactly what my dad would do. Luckily, my mom kept him from doing it most of the time, though. |
| Winter Land Man 18.09.2008 15:24 |
Yep, I got spankings. When I became a teen, sometimes it was a slap across the head. When I was around 18 or 19, I was shoved down. But it never worked for me, as I'd get violent back, and never do as I was told. Now I'm taller (but thinner) than my Dad, and can knock him down and have. But I don't believe in violence towards kids. Gavyn will never be spanked, and I spoil him. I am going to raise him the opposite way that my Dad raised me, to see how it turns out. I have a feeling he'll be better. It's like this... You mis-tread a dog, and the dog gets angry and violent. You treat a dog nicely, and the dog is friendly. |
| April 18.09.2008 15:25 |
Yes, it was also my dad who did it. My mother admired my dad so much that she never interfered. He is considered to be the utmost authority and the "last-instance knowledge" in the family. Never hit your (future) children! |
| pma 18.09.2008 15:32 |
see my later post... |
| Ms. Rebel 18.09.2008 15:38 |
My mom used to kick the shit outta me 3 times a week (or more), she started when I was three or four years old. Did I deserve it? Hmm... NO. She would hit me because of getting my clothes dirty after playing outside or while I was eating, when I was little I wasn't allowed to hang out with boys, I had to wear clothes that she told me to wear, when I went to school getting a B was totally unacceptable, she would always put too much food on my plate and I had to eat it all... She would hit me whenever she liked to, usually without reason, it didn't matter, she would make out her own reasons. And we are not talking about spanking here, she would hit me with all kinds of objects (belt, piece of wood, it didn't matter), once after slapping my face she had to put an ice on her hand. xD Her quotes were: "I'm going to kill a God in you!" and sometimes before she would hit me she would say "I'm so sorry, but I have to do this.". Today she says she had to do it otherwise I would grow up in who knows what. I personally think that parents shouldn't hit their kids, they should learn how to communicate with them and not raising them in fear. If I ever decide to have my own kids I will never hit them because first of all, I can't hit a dog with the newspaper if he/she pees inside the house lol. I could never treat them the way she treated me because I remember how I felt back then and I don't want my kids to see me as some kind of monster and person of who they should be afraid. Parents should act with their kids like they are their close friends and be able to talk with them about anything, solving problems WITHOUT hitting. :) |
| Ms. Rebel 18.09.2008 16:11 |
This thread is fucking awesome. I feel like I've seen a good shrink. |
| Mr.Jingles 18.09.2008 16:34 |
My dad did beat me a few times, but those few times he slapped me or spanked me were good enough to make me shit scared of him. Once he slapped me really bad when I was 6 because he was trying to explain my homework to me, but I didn't get what he was trying to tell me. I wasn't being a brat or anything, and for a while I held some resentment against him because it's unfair to hit someone when they haven't done anything out of malice or any kind of bad behavior. My mom on the other hand has had plenty of reasons to hit me, but she has never laid a hand on me. She has yelled at me, and threatened me a countless number of times but she never hit me. Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style. |
| Freya is quietly judging you. 18.09.2008 16:40 |
I was a right naughty little shit, of course I was hit. Never hard though. I don't think it's had an adverse effect, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. |
| Smitty 18.09.2008 16:54 |
Ahh, I've been blessed with wonderful parents. When I was a kid, my dad only hit me...maybe three times as I can remember. And those times I really deserved it, because I was a rotten little shit at times. After spanking me, after I had calmed down my dad would talk with me and everything would be cool. I certainly didn't like it at the time, but I can barely remember it now, and I wasn't scared of my dad in the slightest. Yeah. My mom and dad are pretty cool. |
| Mr.Jingles 18.09.2008 17:02 |
I don't believe in hitting kids, but there must be some sort of physical behavior to show kids who is in control. Just like 'The Dog Whisperer'. |
| Erin 18.09.2008 17:12 |
Mr.Jingles wrote: Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.LOL |
| Dan C. 18.09.2008 17:13 |
My Dad was a drunk when I was young, so, yeah. Ha! |
| Sergei. 18.09.2008 17:25 |
My parents didn't beat me enough when I was little. They hardly did it at all. I can remember lots of instances in which they should have beat the piss out of me, but didn't. And look what a prick I've become. |
| -fatty- 2850 18.09.2008 18:23 |
Bob The Shrek wrote: I was smacked as a kid and not just by my parents - my friends parents and my teachers used to give me a clip round the head now and again! Consequently I have never been in trouble with the police, never done drugs, never broken into someone's house, never vandalised or stole cars and I never carry a weapon of any sort. Compare that to the kids of today and I am glad that I grew up in the 60's.My old dad wasn't shy when it came to giving me a dull one around the head and like Bob I had many a clip around the ear from teachers and the like. I on the other hand have been on the wrong side of the law on several occasions and whilst I wouldn't go so far as to call it an addiction, I did have a drug problem. I'm not sure if this had anything to do with being hit as a kid but it's food for thought. Personally I dont hit my own kids (except in self defence) but that's because they've never really given me reason to do so. There are some kids out there (Jake for example) who are in dire need of a size 10 boot up the arse. fatty. |
| its_a_hard_life 26994 18.09.2008 19:37 |
Erin wrote:LMFAO.Mr.Jingles wrote: Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.LOL I fuckin' love that movie. :D |
| queenie-taylor 18.09.2008 20:34 |
I never had the sh*t kicked of me by my folks, but I did get the odd hairbrush round the head (cheers mam) and once or twice I got my dads back hand round my chops (they were like shovels!!) for getting caught drinking and being totally wasted onm white lightening when I was 14 or 15, but I can honestly say I deserved it and that I was a little shit in my teens.... Thank the lord they never found out about the joy-riding!!! |
| YourValentine 18.09.2008 20:38 |
"And that's basically what you want to do, if you're hitting your kids; dumb them down and get them used to a life of being controlled and subordinate." Yes, absolutely right. You teach the child better not to speak up if someone stronger disapproves. I am not saying that beaten children all grow up to be child abusers or wife beaters but all child abusers and wife beaters were beaten in their childhood. And yes, I am probably one of the disapproving "good doers": I call the police without hesitating a second when I see an adult raising their hands against a defenseless child, it's the worst and makes my blood boil. Children need protection and a safe home and beating them means that they have no place to go, they are at the mercy of their abusive parents. There is no excuse for hitting a child, it's mean and cruel. I have 3 sisters and my parents never once hit any of us and we still did not drop out of school or became drug addicts or ended in jail. There is no need to hit children in order to teach them respect or to know right from wrong. They learn it from loving parents, through good example, trust and love. |
| MamaQueen 18.09.2008 21:07 |
Ms. Rebel I want to say that I feel sad about what you went through when you were a child. That is what I call physical and psychological abuse. Personally, my mother used to chase me around with a flip flop and gave me a few swats when she caught me. It only happened if she got very frustrated from me not listening. It's better to teach non violent punishment for kids because some adults can get out of hand. My daughter is 14 now and I have given her a few little spankings here and ther, not as punishment, but I have to recognise it was just a way of taking out my frustrations, she can be very, very stuborn. So, I believe physical violence is not a form of discipline, but is a way of releasing anger, frustration in the part of the adult, it has nothing to do with the child. For example what happened to Mr. Jingles when his father slappned him for not understanding the homework. Probably, Mr. Jingles, your father felt frustrated and angry at himself for not being able to teach you and instead of blaming himself for not being able to teach, he blamed you. Children will tests their parents to no end. I believe that we as parents should have tons of patience and talk to the kids till our tongue run dry, and then talk some more. Teach them by extablishing limits and by example and give them lots of love. That's what I do with my daughter. She's a good kid. Last time I remember I chased her with a wooden spoon, the situation was so ridiculous and funny that we ended up both cracking up on the floor laughing. |
| Carol! the Musical 18.09.2008 21:44 |
I completely agree with Ms. Rebel, this is a absolute therapy thread: Hitting doesn't tend to get to me as much as insults do, but I DO remember getting hit lots for talking back. I never did it rudely- I'd always start my argument with a reasonable voice and something like 'I understand where you're coming from and I respect that, but I also think that blah blah blah...' I was never the little twat that pulled shit like 'I hate you' or 'but my friends are doing it'. It just made me really sad when I did everything that Highlights magazine and shit said and nothing worked in my favour. :( Actually, my dad STILL does this creepy reach-back thing when we're in the car ( me in the seat behind his ) and I won't shut up- he'll shoot his right hand backwards and just slap the shit out of whatever he can reach. That's when I unbuckle myself and move to the seat behind mine, wait a minute, and then continue where I dropped off. I still try the Highlights approach, but I'll get arrogant when I remember that it never did me any good. The part that gets me angry, though, is that they only started hitting when the problems got more complicated than tantrums at a toy store. |
| Ms. Rebel 19.09.2008 10:05 |
MamaQueen wrote: Ms. Rebel I want to say that I feel sad about what you went through when you were a child. That is what I call physical and psychological abuse.Thank you for your sympathies. ;) My dad never hit me. Worse thing he did was raising his voice at me but ten minutes after he would come to my room and start apologizing lol. One time I did something, I don't remember what it was.. He had shaving foam on his face and was wearing boxers and undershirt. He was chasing me around the table in the dinning room with ladle in his hand. He failed catching me, also slipped and fell on the floor. xD |
| Poo, again 19.09.2008 10:23 |
Hopefully I won't be that shitty of a parent that my kids have no manners. But if I'd have to (if they're totally out of control), I could probably give 'em a slap or two. It's probably nothing I'd feel good about though. |
| magicalfreddiemercury 19.09.2008 10:55 |
Hitting children is an 'old world' method that has only recently drawn scorn from society. It's clearly a poor way to teach them right from wrong since it doesn't teach them WHY it's wrong to do whatever it is they've done. It takes more time, effort and patience to talk to little ones when they misbehave but if you start early enough they'll soon learn to think for themselves and (hopefully) make the right choices when you're not there to guide them. And yes, I was hit as a kid. Did I deserve it? At the time I thought I did. Now I know for a fact I did not. |
| Winter Land Man 19.09.2008 13:59 |
YourValentine wrote: "And that's basically what you want to do, if you're hitting your kids; dumb them down and get them used to a life of being controlled and subordinate." Yes, absolutely right. You teach the child better not to speak up if someone stronger disapproves. I am not saying that beaten children all grow up to be child abusers or wife beaters but all child abusers and wife beaters were beaten in their childhood. And yes, I am probably one of the disapproving "good doers": I call the police without hesitating a second when I see an adult raising their hands against a defenseless child, it's the worst and makes my blood boil. Children need protection and a safe home and beating them means that they have no place to go, they are at the mercy of their abusive parents. There is no excuse for hitting a child, it's mean and cruel. I have 3 sisters and my parents never once hit any of us and we still did not drop out of school or became drug addicts or ended in jail. There is no need to hit children in order to teach them respect or to know right from wrong. They learn it from loving parents, through good example, trust and love.I don't blame you for calling the cops. If I saw someone doing that, I would to, I'd probably try to stop them as well. |
| YourValentine 19.09.2008 14:09 |
Nobody deserves it. Every human being has a right to be physically untouched and children are human beings, there is no justification to deny them this basic right. On the contrary: they are small, helpless and dependent, they need to be protected against all kinds of physical and emotional abuse. Somehow many people seem to think that it is okay for children to be beaten for their "own good" but I still have to hear a remotely convincing reason why it should be good for children to be beaten by the parents who are there to protect them and to keep them safe. MamaQueen raised a very valid point saying that often parents just act out their frustration when they hit the kids - how low is that? What do we say when an abusive husband "acts out" his frustration and he hits his wife? Do we wonder if she deserves it? Of course not. The fact that he is bigger and stronger does not give him the right to hit anyone in his family - wife or kids. |
| Lady Nyx 19.09.2008 14:21 |
i was only spanked maybe 2 or 3 times. it was more of a startling thing for me than painful. it never actually hurt. my family is a bit old fashioned. but i actually did deserve it those times. i was told several times not to run in the road, or go into a construction zone,etc and i did it anyway. its that age where you test the authorities of your family, and they taught me to resepct them when we were young. we had the whole 'it takes a villiage to raise a family' aspect, which i feel has sadly been lost. i have a respect for my elders, even if some dont deserve it at times, and im nice to everyone around me and i dont use anyone. i feel psychological abuse is worse. i dont know how many times people (teachers) called me stupid or lazy in school because i asked a question or misunderstood something. or worse, i would be punished for something and not know what i did wrong. they were more about stopping an action instead of telling me what to stop. so i was often sent mixed messages in school and i then became rebellious, since i felt no matter what i did, it was wrong, i might as well had given them a reason to punish me. other than that, it just gave me complexes i will never be able to recover from. (i could go on a tangent about how theres a double edged sword with schools and discipline now but i want to try and avoid that topic in this thread) but i digress. as for my parents, they were neither strict nor lieniant. they knew i was a smart kid with a good head on her shoulders and knew what to stay away from and when to judge when things were ok. i had no desire to run away, hurt, steal, do drugs or any of that, and i still dont. if i did, that would make me an ungrateful brat :) and anything i do at this point is my problem, not theirs haha. but that isnt to say my parents had their moments where they were wrong or stupid on a decision but again, i digress. in a nutshell, i was never beaten, but i also never had a reason to be. those handful of times when i was spanked it was when i was WAY out of line or put myself in danger....in a way, a spanking-2 seconds of a startling sting, is easier to heal than being hit by a bus where i could be crippled or dead. worked for me. if i ever had children, would i do it? yes, but i would never beat them senseless, or harm them in any way, and only if the situation absolutly called for it. my parents also always explained to me why i did what i did was wrong. otherwise, what is the sense in the spanking? the kid probably had no idea why the situation was so bad. and beata, i believe that is why you have a rebellious side, like most others who do. you probably felt at a young age that no matter what you did is wrong, so if you were gonna do anything on your own accord and you knew it was wrong, at least you had a reason, right? cuz thats how i was in school. correct me if im wrong :) |
| Ms. Rebel 19.09.2008 14:31 |
Lady Nyx wrote: and beata, i believe that is why you have a rebellious side, like most others who do. you probably felt at a young age that no matter what you did is wrong, so if you were gonna do anything on your own accord and you knew it was wrong, at least you had a reason, right? cuz thats how i was in school. correct me if im wrong :)Could be... ;) |
| Sergei. 19.09.2008 16:42 |
Mr.Jingles wrote: Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.Hah! A couple of weeks ago my Dad and I got in an argument and I was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table. He got so furious he grabbed the chair and thrust it at me. I hardly ever make either of my parents that bloody mad. XD Carol! the Musical wrote: ... Actually, my dad STILL does this creepy reach-back thing when we're in the car ( me in the seat behind his ) and I won't shut up- he'll shoot his right hand backwards and just slap the shit out of whatever he can reach.My mum and dad did that shit, but instead they'd pinch us. They have iron pincers! xD When we were little and would talk back while in the car a hand would always shoot back and the fingertips would clamp onto someone's leg for like ten seconds. It hurt like hell. XD Once my dad reached back to pinch my brother but wasn't looking and instead got me. Wtf. -_- . . . My Dad also does this dumb thing where he threatens to hit you (But again, only if he gets really really pissed off) by grabbing the nearest thing to him and holding it up like he's going to strike you with it. He's threatened to hit me with pillows, stuffed animals, my Geometry folder and was once going to whoop me with a towel. When he got really mad he snatched this Teddy bear off my bed and held it up in the air like he was going to whack me with it. I went from being scared at the threat of him hitting me to actually laughing because it was so absurd. XD I also remember how he was once washing the dishes and I was standing at the counter and said something fresh, so he tossed a cup of dishwater in my face. And my mum. . . Once she beat my ass with one of my dad's belts (Which, my God, hurt like hell XDD) because she was so pissed at me, and then I was too prideful to take the hint and shut the fuck up, so I shouted from my room after she went downstairs "IT DIDN'T HURT AT ALL!! IT WAS LIKE A BUTT MASSAGE!". O_o And then I heard "Oh, REALLY?" and the sound of feet coming back up the steps and the jingling of the belt buckle. I think that was my last belt whooping. XD |
| iron eagle 19.09.2008 17:43 |
i got the belt, hairbrush and hand slapped a few times growing up as someone else said afterwards there would be a talk--expectations laid out etc. my parents never beat me just to beat me or vent out frustrations. i turned out ok oh yes a PS-to a lovely lady that has sent me a email through the zone..you know who you are...i tried to respond back but it doesnt work for me... i miss ya...miss our emails and talks and wait patiently for the day we finally meet.... |
| Winter Land Man 19.09.2008 17:46 |
iron eagle wrote: i got the belt, hairbrush and hand slapped a few times growing up as someone else said afterwards there would be a talk--expectations laid out etc. my parents never beat me just to beat me or vent out frustrations. i turned out ok oh yes a PS-to a lovely lady that has sent me a email through the zone..you know who you are...i tried to respond back but it doesnt work for me... i miss ya...miss our emails and talks and wait patiently for the day we finally meet....It will work if you erase the message they sent you when you reply... |
| KillerQueen840 19.09.2008 20:38 |
MMM, dey hit me nice and hard. I like, I like. |
| Crazy LittleThing 19.09.2008 22:56 |
Mr.Jingles wrote: Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.You are such a rock star, Jingles! |
| Saif 21.09.2008 03:06 |
My mom used to hit me, yeah. My dad, never. |
| Carol! the Musical 21.09.2008 15:00 |
Sergei? wrote: I also remember how he was once washing the dishes and I was standing at the counter and said something fresh, so he tossed a cup of dishwater in my face. And my mum. . . Once she beat my ass with one of my dad's belts (Which, my God, hurt like hell XDD) because she was so pissed at me, and then I was too prideful to take the hint and shut the fuck up, so I shouted from my room after she went downstairs "IT DIDN'T HURT AT ALL!! IT WAS LIKE A BUTT MASSAGE!". O_o And then I heard "Oh, REALLY?" and the sound of feet coming back up the steps and the jingling of the belt buckle.Oh my God, butt massages and dishwater. I did something like the former, but I locked my door and pressed myself against it in case my mother took out the key. XDDD |
| The Mir@cle 21.09.2008 15:06 |
The still do v link |
| Ms. Rebel 21.09.2008 15:37 |
The Mir@cle wrote: The still do v linkLMAO!!! You should call social security for that! |
| The Real Wizard 21.09.2008 22:17 |
Erin wrote: My dad did. Did I deserve it? No. I don't believe in any physical punishment. Taking away their favorite stuff is much more effective, I think.Agreed. No authority figure should ever teach children to act out of fear of the alternative. Teaching kids that they can't have everything they want and to respect the needs of those around them, and effectively... that's the way to go. To be both liked and respected is a hard balance to achieve, but it's always possible. |
| Sergei. 21.09.2008 22:55 |
Ms. Rebel wrote:That wouldn't do much, they'd say "Wait til you're sixty-seven and we'll give you your damn check for five dollars".The Mir@cle wrote: The still do v linkLMAO!!! You should call social security for that! xP |
| Yara 21.09.2008 23:49 |
Wow, they did, and then some! But the funny thing is that they always regreted the fact and tried to compensate for it in some way or another - they were conscious that what they were doing wasn't really proportional to whatever bad I was causing, but sometimes they just got pissed off and couldn't avoid it. |
| StoneColdClassicQueen 21.09.2008 23:53 |
Yara wrote: Wow, they did, and then some! But the funny thing is that they always regreted the fact and tried to compensate for it in some way or another - they were conscious that what they were doing wasn't really proportional to whatever bad I was causing, but sometimes they just got pissed off and couldn't avoid it.XDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hate the way parents bribe you afterward.. It's like George Lopez says. "Freakin liar, I barely touched you! You wanna go to McDonalds? You wanna go to McDonalds? Then walk right. Walk right cabron! Why you crying now? I barely touched you!" |
| Bo Rhap 22.09.2008 06:08 |
I believe in spanking as a last resort. I'm not against anyone who does it.I'm only against them if they use excessive force. |
| Q4E 23.09.2008 18:29 |
i was abused...punches belts...hangers shoes...from my mom |
| StoneColdClassicQueen 23.09.2008 18:30 |
Q4E wrote: i was abused...punches belts...hangers shoes...from my momouch. I feel bad for those of you who have been abused... :'( I hate that treatment. I will never ever hit a small child. |
| Winter Land Man 23.09.2008 20:16 |
One time my Dad punched me and knocked me down to the ground with that punch. He did it because I accidently set off his car alarm. I must of been 15 at the time. My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny" |
| StoneColdClassicQueen 23.09.2008 23:36 |
Jake? wrote: One time my Dad punched me and knocked me down to the ground with that punch. He did it because I accidently set off his car alarm. I must of been 15 at the time. My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny"uh-huh.. |
| Sergei. 24.09.2008 13:14 |
Jake? wrote: My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny"Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we? Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. |
| -fatty- 2850 24.09.2008 14:04 |
Jake? wrote: One time my Dad punched me and knocked me down to the ground with that punch. He did it because I accidently set off his car alarm. I must of been 15 at the time.Your father could have punched you to the ground, kicked you in the stomach until your arse bled, shot you point black in the face with a 12 bore shotgun, doused you in petrol, set fire to you and pissed on your charred corpse. And I still wouldn't call that excessive. fatty. PS It's all a load of old bollocks anyway as neither you nor your mother have the faintest idea who your father is. |
| Mr.Jingles 24.09.2008 14:26 |
fatty wrote:ROFL!!Jake? wrote: One time my Dad punched me and knocked me down to the ground with that punch. He did it because I accidently set off his car alarm. I must of been 15 at the time.Your father could have punched you to the ground, kicked you in the stomach until your arse bled, shot you point black in the face with a 12 bore shotgun, doused you in petrol, set fire to you and pissed on your charred corpse. And I still wouldn't call that excessive. fatty. PS It's all a load of old bollocks anyway as neither you nor your mother have the faintest idea who your father is. |
| Winter Land Man 24.09.2008 16:05 |
Sergei. wrote:IT WERENT ME! IT WAS BRIAN MAY!!!Jake? wrote: My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny"Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we? Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. |
| Winter Land Man 24.09.2008 16:06 |
fatty wrote:YOU ARE MY DAD! I LOOK JUST LIKE YOU!Jake? wrote: One time my Dad punched me and knocked me down to the ground with that punch. He did it because I accidently set off his car alarm. I must of been 15 at the time.Your father could have punched you to the ground, kicked you in the stomach until your arse bled, shot you point black in the face with a 12 bore shotgun, doused you in petrol, set fire to you and pissed on your charred corpse. And I still wouldn't call that excessive. fatty. PS It's all a load of old bollocks anyway as neither you nor your mother have the faintest idea who your father is. |
| Sergei. 24.09.2008 16:09 |
Jake? wrote:You fail at life.Sergei. wrote:IT WERENT ME! IT WAS BRIAN MAY!!!Jake? wrote: My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny"Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we? Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. If I could vote more than once on the "Should Jake Kill Himself" Poll I would indeed. |
| Winter Land Man 24.09.2008 16:51 |
Sergei. wrote:Are you gay? I'm just curious.Jake? wrote:You fail at life. If I could vote more than once on the "Should Jake Kill Himself" Poll I would indeed.Sergei. wrote:IT WERENT ME! IT WAS BRIAN MAY!!!Jake? wrote: My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny"Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we? Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. |
| Sergei. 24.09.2008 17:49 |
Jake? wrote:Gayer than Nureyev, mon chéri.Sergei. wrote:Are you gay? I'm just curious.Jake? wrote:You fail at life. If I could vote more than once on the "Should Jake Kill Himself" Poll I would indeed.Sergei. wrote:IT WERENT ME! IT WAS BRIAN MAY!!!Jake? wrote: My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny"Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we? Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. |
| Brandon The Great 25.09.2008 02:18 |
I believe I was a few times. It took a bit to stir up the folks. Now, the cattle prod on the other hand... I'll not hit my kids until they're eighteen. Then I'm gonna take out eighteen years of frustration on their ungrateful asses! ;-) |
| Winter Land Man 25.09.2008 02:21 |
My girlfriend spanks me. |
| littlekillerham 17.07.2010 18:58 |
yes once for being adamant about using condinitoner in my hair after i washed my body (i was 5 and my dad was helping me shower that night) and another time for telling my brother to get out of my room, something that i had done many times.... he was kinda pissed at my brothers already so..... |
| catqueen 17.07.2010 19:32 |
I got smacked -- sometimes i deserved it, i think more when i was fairly young i was pretty lively and got myself into some major trouble (eg, i now know it is NOT a good idea to throw stones at cars just cos the big boys up the road do :/) But i dont rly remember being smacked much as a small child, more when i was 7 - 10... think my mum had read some heavy handed parenting books or something around then! Sometimes i deserved it, but remember two times when i didnt -- accidents, being 'disrespectful' (by using an expression that my mother used herself :/ ) , stuff like that, and i remember being rly rly upset abt that. But it wasnt over the top or anything. I work with kids so i'm pretty much against smacking -- but if i had a child and the child was doing something dangerous, idk, i dont think a tap on the hand does much harm, esp if the child is reaching constantly for dangerous or 'forbidden' stuff or a child who is pinching. In my opinion that can make the link in the child's mind between the action and remembeing not to do it - i pinch and my hand is sore makes sense. I think in general tho there are far far better ways to deal with misbehaviour - time out, natural consequences (i once knew a child who could throw her dinner on the floor and was then given ice cream! - not a good consequence!) , talking or similar, without the need for violence. We wouldnt hit an adult who was talking back or something, so why hit a child, just because they are smaller. It is so easy for discipline to become a power struggle, and this does no good for either the child or the parent. |
| Brian_Mays_Wig 18.07.2010 13:01 |
Did I get hit as a kid? Yes......and Im a better person for it. Thats why there are so many little scrotes running around the UK now cos its outlawed. |
| pma 18.07.2010 14:04 |
Yes, I received my unfair share of physical punishment. Being pulled from my hair was probably the most common punishment. The occasional fillip was also administered by my father, my mother preferred the hair method. My grandfather event gave me a taste of a birch branch. I was physically punished by grandparents, parents and close relatives, basically by any close (trusted) kinfolk. In my childhood in the 80s It was (and is) dangerously common, even though it is was outlawed here in 1984 (the parent's right to "discipline" their children was abolished in the late 70s). In retrospect I think what my parents did was disgusting, I think part of it was their own upbringing. They simply continued the tradition they had been brought up on. You did not mess with your parents or elders, or you got whooped. Part of it was, that my parents were much younger than most people today who have kids. They were immature young parents, and I guess they were venting their frustration over their youth being cut short. Yes, this almost sounds like I'm making excuses for them. But I do want to understand their behaviour. It's not as if it was a daily or weekly thing, to get punished like that, but the fact that it occasionally happened, and that they thought it was a good decent thing to do, to hit your own child, I simply find it hard to understand. I now have a son (1 year 4 months), and my wife has grown up without physical punishment. She can only roll her eyes at the things I've experienced in my youth. And yes, she is the sane, much more stable person in our family ;) She also has never done drugs, graduated from university, works with children (kindergarten teacher), never committed crime. And all this without being beat on by a parent! There is no way I would ever hurt my son, it is simply ineffective, traumatizing and brutal. A parent is someone a child should be able to trust, someone to receive unconditional love and support from. Hitting someone is not a display of love, it's a display of force, control, hatred and other negative things. I suppose today people do not hit their kids as much, not at least in public. Parents tend to use more emotional violence and control over their children. For example, any time I visit a supermarket with my son to shop for groceries, I can probably hear at least one parent threatening their kid with abondonment. "I'm going to leave you here if you don't start behaving". That sounds very familiar. Once in my childhood, me and my brother fooled around a vegetable garden, and my parents were packing their things into the car to leave home. This place was in the middle of nowhere, at least for two small children it was. When we failed to come back to the car as they had asked, and were coming back, walking slowly, since kids aren't that fast anyway, my parents simply took off without us. They drove into the distance, we burst into tears, thinking they were going to leave us there, and then they stopped the car into the distance and we ran like crazy to get to them. Then we got into the car and I think our parents told us to "do as we're told" in the future. Would I ever do this to my child? No-farking way! First off, it is illegal to dump your kid like that, and secondly, clearly it has caused me a life-long trauma, since I can still remember this incident, even though it occurred when I was around 4 years old. My wife, who literally raises other people's kids for a living, has one good solid argument against violence over kids. I have grown to like it. It simply states; if you disagree with an adult, or an adult is not behaving in the manner you want them to, do you walk up to them and hit them to make them alter their behaviour? Of course not, because an adult might defend themself. However, the only reason you do this to a child is, because a child usually cannot defend against you. |
| Freya is quietly judging you. 20.07.2010 17:21 |
Once, my Grandma hit me over the head with a big china bowl. |
| john bodega 21.07.2010 14:32 |
Yes, and now it's payback time. My Dad is 70 and let's just say I'm the one who does the punching now. One of these days I'll probably throw in a roundhouse kick for good measure. People, you know, they complain when the elderly are abused but I put it to you that it's great fun - and so easy. Next time I beat him up I'll probably drag him out onto the lawn in the middle of a wintery night and put the garden hose onto his ass. That'll learn him! |
| greaserkat 21.07.2010 16:35 |
Being Hispanic, there is no way that I wasn't going to be spanked by my parents. My dad has never laid a hand on me, the spanking was always done by my mom and it was always with what ever object was nearest to her hand. Thats why I I tried to not get her mad when she was in the kitchen as I was little. the most embarrassing hits were when she would pinch me, pull my ears or smack me in the stores with other people around; some of you might relate to that lol. I remember I would run from her when she was going to spank me and She would say "If you run its only goint to be worse" and she would also say "come here now" and I would reply "No your'e going to hit me" she would then put down whatever she was going to hit me with and say "Im not going to hit you anymore," believing her I would go to her and then she would grab me pick back up whatever she was going to hit me with and BAM!!! "Keep trying to run!" I laugh looking back at it now on all the crazy shit I would do when I was little. |
| catqueen 21.07.2010 17:58 |
Someone mentioned emotional violence and that is a rly good point. I am not a fan of hitting chidren, like i said before, we dont hit adults. But imo, it is no less harmful for a child to constantly be put down and belittled and humiliated verbally then it is to get smacked. An occasional smack is probably (imo) less harmful then constant 'blaa blaa blaa u useless fucker, would u get out of my way'. At least a smack can relate to specific behaviour (eg a child deciding i wont spit in mums face because my hand hurt when she smacked me, or even learning watch out when ppl are stressed out after work) as opposed to general feelings of uselessness and like the child is a worthless nuisence who just gets in the way all the time and isnt particularly wanted. And there is no law against narking at ur child. And even tho ppl agree its abusive, it is nearly impossible to build a case against someone for that because its so subjective. |
| its_a_hard_life 26994 21.07.2010 18:46 |
I have magical powers. I'm untouchable. |
| Holly2003 21.07.2010 18:58 |
The problem with hitting kids as a form of punishment is that there is nowhere left to go except hitting them harder. It's counterproductive. Shouting at them is the same: what do you do next time, shout louder? I fnd withholding games/treats/tv time etc is more effective. But I admit I have shouted at my youngest because at age five he still hasn't the wit to realise cars will kill him if he wanders onto the road. I will gladly shout at him if it will save his life. |
| Lady Nyx 22.07.2010 21:06 |
i was never beaten, but verbal and emotional abuse from dad was blatant. i feel that is worse than anything a hand could do. i have a twisted confidence level because of it. my mom never really disciplined me. she knew i was smart and wouldnt do anything TOO stupid. and if i did, her thought was 'thats your own stupid fault', since i always felt bad enough for doing something wrong. dad usually got to me first anyway. my parents were never bad, i was only spanked a handful of times (no pun intended), and it was usually if i was mean towards someone, or put myself in danger. the way my parents saw it, was a swat in the ass was better than several broken bones from running into the road. i learned. and it never really bothered me. i was startled at the time, but i was always told why i was spanked, so i wasnt living in fear. however, there were many times my dad would come home and yell at me for god knows what petty stupid thing. if i did something wrong, i never heard the end of it, and never did it right. at least i was lucky to be rewarded when i did something right the first time. anyway, thats my say. |
| ParisNair 23.07.2010 14:03 |
This is one of those threads which amazes you to realize how similar day-to-day life all ove the world. I am 29 years old now and have been hit many times during my growing up years in the 80s and early 90s. I never got hit for no reason, it was always for something that I was not supposed to do- not studying, mispalcing and losing stuff, not being back home from school/play on time, fighting with otehr kids, etc. My mom used to beat me more than my dad and her fav weapon was a plastic water hose- when she cut loose with it, every hit felt like a burn. It was excruciating. Dad had to just give me a cold glare and that was enough. Mom somehow lacked that kind of control so she had to adopt other means, I guess. There's one particluar beating which I remember vividly. I was maybe 5 or 6 and while playing I pushed another boy, who fell into a puddle of dirty water. This kid went crying to complain to his mom, and the lady happened to be with my mom at that moment. So when my mom heard what had happened, she went in to get the badminton racket and gave me such a beating that it brought tears to the eyes of the other kid's mom. She tried to stop my mom but she just went on. Finally when she stopped, the racket was broken - yes, the metal bent and finally broke into two. Surprisingly I have no scars to show for it. |
| magicalfreddiemercury 23.07.2010 18:10 |
>> ParisNair wrote: There's one particluar beating which I remember vividly. I was maybe 5 or 6 and while playing I pushed another boy, who fell into a puddle of dirty water. This kid went crying to complain to his mom, and the lady happened to be with my mom at that moment. So when my mom heard what had happened, she went in to get the badminton racket and gave me such a beating that it brought tears to the eyes of the other kid's mom. She tried to stop my mom but she just went on. Finally when she stopped, the racket was broken - yes, the metal bent and finally broke into two. Surprisingly I have no scars to show for it. <<< This is so sad. I can't help ask - what, if anything, did you learn from that punishment? And afterward, like later that night, what did your mom say to you? Was anything ever said about it? I have to ask because I wonder why we can't just talk to our kids. There have been times when I considered giving my kid a swat - not a beating, mind you, just a swat - but I never did. She trusted me to take care of her, how could I betray that trust? Instead, I always told her exactly what she did that pissed me off and why - no matter where we were. I didn't berate her, I explained it. Sometimes through gritted teeth. From that, she learned there were consequences for her actions and sometimes the consequence was as simple as seeing how her actions upset the people she loved. Maybe that doesn't work on every kid, but it worked on mine. I'm not saying I'm the perfect parent - not even close - but I think "hitting" and "parenting" are two completely different concepts. Or should be. |
| ParisNair 24.07.2010 13:17 |
magicalfreddiemercury wrote: This is so sad. I can't help ask - what, if anything, did you learn from that punishment? And afterward, like later that night, what did your mom say to you? Was anything ever said about it?I got beaten a lot as a kid, but I can't recall any discussions or explanations happening later. It was like I did some mischief and I got beaten. Only, I think most time the punishment was inproportionate to the "crime". And another interesting thing- whenever I did soemthing really wrong like lying, stealign money from my dad's or mom's purse, or use bad language, etc - I never got beaten. That's when the lectures happened. It was like as if my parents were really hurt by my action. And if I remember right, I never did repeat those things once I was caught and reprimanded in this way (except the bad language, which I do use outside the house). |
| magicalfreddiemercury 25.07.2010 06:39 |
>>ParisNair wrote: That's when the lectures happened. It was like as if my parents were really hurt by my action. And if I remember right, I never did repeat those things once I was caught and reprimanded in this way. << That's what people should take from this conversation. That explaining reasons - though it takes more patience, time and thought than lashing out - is the greatest way to teach our kids proper behavior, respect, etc. But maybe that's the problem. Maybe parents who regularly hit their kids do so not as a way of teaching them but of controlling them. |
