1] the only german called Schumacher you hated for years was a goalkeeper who ko'ed a frenchman in the football world cup finals.
2] you remember when Bruce Forsyth had his own hair and Elton John didnt
3] you remember Bucks Fizz ripping off their skirts and winning Eurovision for the UK
4] you had no idea where the Falkland Islands were before 1982
5] you were more afraid of an irish accent than a pakistani accent in the UK
6] you used to watch videos on a system called Betamax
7] you thought shakin stevens was gonna be bigger than elvis
8] you saw Madonna at Live Aid and thought "who the fuck is that screaching banshee?"
9] you remember when it was the Russians that were getting their asses whiped in Afghanistan
and
10] you remember when there was only 3 tv channels and they all stopped transmitting at midnight to the national anthem and then a hiss for hours until the testcard girl with her doll appeared
Scotland are playing England at Hampden and after 45 minutes the Scots are getting beat 5-0. At half time the English are in the dressing room and depite the fact they they are five goals ahead, the mood is gloomy. (insert name of current English manager here) says "Why the long faces chaps?"
Wayne Rooney replies "Sorry boss, but we just can't get exited about beating the Scots. They're so bad that I could play them by myself and still win the game."
(Insert name of current English manager here) says "Fair enough Rooney, We'll stay in the dressing room and let you take care of the jocks by yourself."
So the rest of the English squad hang around in the dressing room as Wayne Rooney goes to finish the game. 45 minutes later Rooney returns to the dressing room in tears. (Insert name of current English manager here)says "Well, what was the final score?
Rooney wipes the tears from his eyes and says "We beat them 28-1."
"So why the hell are you crying?" says (Insert name of current English manager here)
"I'm afraid I let you down boss."
"How so?"
Wiping another tear from his eye, Rooney replies "I got sent off 3 minutes into the second half."
fatty.
Speaking of getting old...
When my son was about 14 years old he started getting into heavy metal music in a big way and wanted to grow his hair long. After a couple of months of growing it was still pretty bushy and I told him that he looked as though he was wearing a hairy crash helmet. He flattened his hair to one side and said "Would you rather I looked like this? It makes me look like Hitler."
And I said "Well at least his hair was tidy."
It was at that moment that I knew I had turned into my dad.
fatty.
fatty wrote: Speaking of getting old...
When my son was about 14 years old he started getting into heavy metal music in a big way and wanted to grow his hair long. After a couple of months of growing it was still pretty bushy and I told him that he looked as though he was wearing a hairy crash helmet. He flattened his hair to one side and said "Would you rather I looked like this? It makes me look like Hitler."
And I said "Well at least his hair was tidy."
It was at that moment that I knew I had turned into my dad.
fatty.