john bodega 09.02.2008 12:53 |
OKies, just finished my birthday party and I'm quite drunk. Quick question; girl I've been in love with for a year, can't get over, she left my birthday early to go spend it with her BALD BOYFRIEND twice her age, I'm cold and alone and it's 3 in the morning I should get over her, right? What the fuck do I do. Someone give me some ideas, anything will help. I'm well past the emo 'cutting myself' point, I just need some kind of constructive idea for what the fuck to do next I remind you I'm drunk. |
magicalfreddiemercury 09.02.2008 13:20 |
Confidence, baby. Confidence. Women like men who are proud but not arrogant. Humble, not self-deprecating. Not sure if you realize it, but you do tend to put yourself down. You have a lot to offer - you're funny, you're talented, you have sexy hair. :-) Now - when the buzz has worn off - get to work on your self confidence. When you do, women will stick a little closer to you and stop going off with their 'bald boyfriends'. Sorry that doesn't help with this particular woman, though. :-/ |
JoxerTheDeityPirate 09.02.2008 13:58 |
go to bed dude and sleep it off.youve had an emotional day with your birthday and everything. you will think more logically in the morning with a hangover.. |
Woodie 09.02.2008 14:24 |
There's just one thing you can do... Shave your head! Kidding mate, get yourself another gal, bet they're many out there loving your music and who'd wanna take you upstairs ;) |
-fatty- 2850 09.02.2008 14:29 |
Go round to her house and put a brick through her window. fatty. |
Music Man 09.02.2008 16:03 |
Keep getting sloshed. |
Janet 09.02.2008 16:32 |
fatty wrote: Go round to her house and put a brick through her window. fatty.Listen to fatty. He gives the best advice. ;-) |
Winter Land Man 09.02.2008 16:48 |
get down on your knees and tell her you love her |
Freya is quietly judging you. 09.02.2008 17:16 |
Come to England and we shall get married and live in a castle and live happily ever after. Failing that, Fatty's idea is worth a try. |
yamaha 09.02.2008 17:52 |
Try a different booze? |
Donna13 09.02.2008 17:54 |
It's your party, you can cry if you want to. Hey, nothing good ever happens at parties anyway. The good things happen when you least expect them to. I think. Not sure. Yes, that settles it. You shall move to England and marry Freya. Or fatty's idea. |
beautifulsoup 09.02.2008 18:25 |
Zebonka12 wrote: OKies, just finished my birthday party and I'm quite drunk.Did this party last four days? XD |
Raf 09.02.2008 19:06 |
I don't wanna sound cheesy or anything... But if you're really good to her (from your other posts about yourself and girls, I got the impression you treat girls very well, and they end up going for "bad" boys) and she doesn't recognize it, then it's her loss, she doesn't really deserve you. Enjoy life as a single man while you can, and when you finally see a real chance of getting yourself someone special, grab the chance. |
JoxerTheDeityPirate 09.02.2008 19:10 |
Donna13 wrote: It's your party, you can cry if you want to.you'll always find me in the kitchens at parties.. |
...assdude.... 39702 09.02.2008 19:11 |
<font color="lime">Raf840 wrote: I don't wanna sound cheesy or anything... But if you're really good to her (from your other posts about yourself and girls, I got the impression you treat girls very well, and they end up going for "bad" boys) and she doesn't recognize it, then it's her loss, she doesn't really deserve you. Enjoy life as a single man while you can, and when you finally see a real chance of getting yourself someone special, grab the chance.fuck i dont wanna agree with you, but Raf is right.... Chicks love that bad boy syndrome..but those chicks dont really get far..as raf said, doesn't recognize it, then it's her loss. Id say try to move on... as its hard to time, but time will soon be on your side... then who knows, this chick might fall pregnant and be a juno... then you will thank god it wasnt you who got with her. |
QueenMercury46 09.02.2008 19:22 |
Shave your head! DUH! No no just kidding, don't. |
Carol! the Musical 09.02.2008 19:23 |
Woodie wrote: Kidding mate, get yourself another gal, bet they're many out there loving your music and who'd wanna take you upstairs ;)The truest thing here yet! You're not the one getting anything wrong, it's them. |
@ndy38 09.02.2008 20:12 |
Girls, can't live with em, can't live without em.... Some girl chose my friend over me last night, and he's a sleazy bastard, nice guys finish last i tell ya.......become a prick and you will get where you want! |
Lisser 09.02.2008 21:15 |
Well, I don't like bad boys. Back in my dating days, if you were nasty to me or got a cocky attitude with me, you were completely embarrassed soon after. Z, is this the same girl that is/was gay? I think I remember you liking a girl that you said was gay? I might be wrong. Anyway, the right person that is deservant of you will come when you least expect it and you are not looking. If this girl has her attention on another man, leave her be. Things might change and work out between you but I find that if you let things go on their own they usually work out for the best. I do love the idea of you marrying Freya though. You two would be an EXCELLENT couple. My blessing has been given. :) |
john bodega 09.02.2008 22:37 |
I'm a little hungover and my stomach is making funny noises, but there's always time to answer QZ posts, I think.
magicalfreddiemercury wrote: Confidence, baby. Confidence. Women like men who are proud but not arrogant. Humble, not self-deprecating. Not sure if you realize it, but you do tend to put yourself down. You have a lot to offer - you're funny, you're talented, you have sexy hair. :-) Now - when the buzz has worn off - get to work on your self confidence. When you do, women will stick a little closer to you and stop going off with their 'bald boyfriends'. Sorry that doesn't help with this particular woman, though. :-/I do put myself down..... I'm only trying to be realistic, though! I know women aren't all as shallow as some of the ones I've met, but even the down-to-earth types have real life considerations to make.... I'm never going to be rolling around in cash, put it that way. Nothing's going to help with this woman, of course.... I knew that a year ago. Tis just hard trying to move on. There isn't anyone I've met that can figure me out in a matter of seconds the way she does :( JoxerTheBeachcomberPirate wrote: go to bed dude and sleep it off.youve had an emotional day with your birthday and everything. you will think more logically in the morning with a hangover..Doing that now... ha-ha. My left thumb is twitching uncontrollably. I don't think I drank enough! I couldn't sleep after the party, was too depressed, so I watched TJ Hooker until fatigue took me. How funny is that? TJ Hooker is terribly written, but I still say Shatner is the best cop on TV. Woodie wrote: There's just one thing you can do... Shave your head! Kidding mate, get yourself another gal, bet they're many out there loving your music and who'd wanna take you upstairs ;)HAHA... oh if only. There's probably a few who like the covers I can play, but my music itself.... Nope :/ Not that I disagree with them there, but that's a different kettle of fish. fatty wrote: Go round to her house and put a brick through her window. fatty.I was going to try that on her boyfriend... <font color=666600><b>Music Man wrote: Keep getting sloshed.People gave me wine for my birthday. I don't have a choice! ! Jake ! wrote: get down on your knees and tell her you love herTrivia : even on my knees, I'm taller than she is. The time for a move like that would've been... oh... fuck, how long now.... 2006. Don't you know it ; back then we'd only just met and I was too unsure to DO anything. By the time my mind was made up on how I felt, she'd made up her mind that we're 'best friends forever' material .... *puke*. <b><font color=007788> ?Freya? wrote: Come to England and we shall get married and live in a castle and live happily ever after.I don't want to give a wrong impression of myself, but that really is the best idea I've seen in here. To paraphrase Wayne's World, though : "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! I suck!" yamaha wrote: Try a different booze?I was drinking Smirnoff all night.. it's those beer-sized bottles that taste a bit like lemonade. Donna13 wrote: It's your party, you can cry if you want to. Hey, nothing good ever happens at parties anyway. The good things happen when you least expect them to. I think. Not sure. Yes, that settles it. You shall move to England and marry Freya. Or fatty's idea.I'm thinking they're both pretty awesome ideas, actually! beautifulsoup wrote:Zebonka12 wrote: OKies, |
john bodega 09.02.2008 22:37 |
Lisser wrote: Well, I don't like bad boys. Back in my dating days, if you were nasty to me or got a cocky attitude with me, you were completely embarrassed soon after. Z, is this the same girl that is/was gay? I think I remember you liking a girl that you said was gay? I might be wrong. Anyway, the right person that is deservant of you will come when you least expect it and you are not looking. If this girl has her attention on another man, leave her be. Things might change and work out between you but I find that if you let things go on their own they usually work out for the best. I do love the idea of you marrying Freya though. You two would be an EXCELLENT couple. My blessing has been given. :)This isn't the gay one, who is more or less my best friend these days. After a long time rewiring my head, I came to realise that I just wasn't used to the idea of having a female friend who was that close, but not being her fuckbuddy. I really didn't love her in 'that' way, and I'm glad I realised it because we're good friends. This other girl is different, and I know that seems ludicrous, but yeah.. everytime I start to get over her, the feelings come back as soon as I talk with her for any length of time. So... how much does it cost to fly to the UK, anyway? (Hehe. Don't anyone go and get a restraining order on the strength of that last comment, I'm too poor for that caper at the moment). |
AspiringPhilosophe 09.02.2008 22:59 |
Glad to see your hangover isn't so bad that you couldn't function...yours must be better than mine. Last two times I was completely smashed, I had a hangover so badly the next day I spent the entire day in bed (only moving to run to the toilet). As far as the girl thing goes...you've been given a lot of good advice already. Confidence (take care it doesn't cross over into arrogance), being nice, all that good stuff. There is always the saying that nice guys finish last, but I'm not always sure that's the case. A relationship takes a chemistry between the people, and I know a few really nice guys that I'm friends with that have been interested in dating me. I've always had to turn them down, because the chemistry just wasn't there; you can't have emotions that just aren't there. Sure, you can fake it for a while, but it blows up in your face. As far as the girls go...well, if you are looking at younger girls that could be the problem too. Anyone under the age of about 25 or so still has TONS of maturing and growing up to do....hell even a few of the 25+ crowd does as well. But you seem nervous and pre-occupied about all of this. So here is my advice. You have to be genuine.....be yourself. If you are nervous or anything like that or trying to be something you are not, girls pick up on that right away. Just be yourself. Second piece of advice is to go with the flow...you have TONS of time left. Believe me, I know it's hard; I'm 25 and figured I'd have someone by now and even possibly be married, and I've had more than a few break downs over that in the last few years. But after my last break up I realized that it wasn't healthy to keep doing that...having break downs over something you can't control. It just plays games with your mind, and trust me, no one wants to be with someone who has a bunch of mental issues from stuff like that. So I took a page from the play book of a very good Dutch friend of mine who was studying here last year: Go with the flow. No point in worrying about something you can't change. It's a kind of c'est la vie attitude that I've found helps me out a lot. |
...assdude... 39830 09.02.2008 23:54 |
I don't ever think I'll be glad that I didn't wind up with her, she's a rare one. This is all rather pathetic of me, but... you know.... you bump into someone you can talk with for 8 hours a day and not get bored, 'n' you sort of start to want to be around them?? Forgive me, I'm hungover. Ha-ha. ehehe all good... these thigns to happen man... I know just what you mean and how you feel... but soon enough, you will be able to feel better and move on. |
Music Man 10.02.2008 00:08 |
Don't listen to these guys. Glenfiddich is as good a girlfriend as anyone. And she'll never cheat on you. |
john bodega 10.02.2008 00:50 |
Cheers all, much obliged. :) |
Lady Nyx 10.02.2008 17:32 |
what do you think you should do now that youre sober? ;) |
john bodega 10.02.2008 22:30 |
I'm going to alphabetise the suggestions on page 1 and try to implement them until life stops sucking. Actually, I'm going to go hand some forms in and then go 'looking' at guitars. Gee, I wonder if I'll buy one. |
Olavi 11.02.2008 09:31 |
You know what man, I was her bald boyfriend. |
john bodega 11.02.2008 10:23 |
Olavi wrote: You know what man, I was her bald boyfriend.You're all heart, baldy. What was your favourite band, again? |
Donna13 11.02.2008 11:12 |
Ah, nevermind. I admit ... I don't have any answers. You're doing pretty well, I think. |
Olavi 11.02.2008 17:29 |
You have missed your chance, you should have called him when you were very drunk and told her that you love her. No seriously, try smirnoff vodka (45%), it gives you better ideas.. Well, if the baldy, (thats me) is really twice over her age, i suppose that their relationship won´t advance very much further. When they break up, wait that she gets over it, and then aproach her or something like that, and tell her about your feelings. It always helps to tell about your feelings at some point, if she rejects you, well at least you tried, but that doesn´t mean you should stop trying. It means try again and this time harder. Remember, it´s not the bald guys fault, or is it anybodys fault.. But anyway, wait for your chance, and then at the right situation steer the conversation little, very gently of course, and tell her how you feel about her. I really don´t believe in these young-twice as old relationships at all, well in some cases they may work, but not usually. Cheer up. I know how you feel. |
john bodega 11.02.2008 22:24 |
I told her about a year ago.. hehe, I wouldn't be so depressed if I thought there was a chance, see. I'm figuring he'll die around ten years before she does, so I might get pensioner-sex out of it in years to come... outside of that, it ain't gonna happen. Ah well. |
iGSM 17.02.2008 11:13 |
Mmmmm-mm. Pensioner sex. I thought that was hilarious and appropriate actually! I would do the same thing. Move to England and get interactive with an American girl. Yes, yes. That's right. Also Get Happy!! |
john bodega 17.02.2008 11:19 |
You scoundrel!! Under what rock were you hiding?? Moving to England, or at the very least Scotland. BAM |
Adolfo and the spiders from Mercury 17.02.2008 19:52 |
whats wrong with being bald? |
john bodega 17.02.2008 22:59 |
Adolfo wrote: whats wrong with being bald?On a basic level, nothing. Get a load of Patrick Stewart, he looks pretty cool. This other dude is creepy bald. There's a difference, I wish I could explain it. |
Olavi 18.02.2008 18:18 |
Zebonka12 wrote:You mean like Pierluigi Collina bald?Adolfo wrote: whats wrong with being bald?On a basic level, nothing. Get a load of Patrick Stewart, he looks pretty cool. This other dude is creepy bald. There's a difference, I wish I could explain it. |
john bodega 19.02.2008 03:27 |
Now that I know who that is, I'm going to say Yes. |
The Mir@cle 19.02.2008 03:51 |
<font color="lime">Raf840 wrote: I don't wanna sound cheesy or anything... But if you're really good to her (from your other posts about yourself and girls, I got the impression you treat girls very well, and they end up going for "bad" boys) and she doesn't recognize it, then it's her loss, she doesn't really deserve you. Enjoy life as a single man while you can, and when you finally see a real chance of getting yourself someone special, grab the chance.Best advise so far... well, Fatty's came close. And after reading Freya's post, I would have been in the airplane already! xD |
john bodega 19.02.2008 04:32 |
Now now, with her history of weirdos from QZ that she's put up with, I wouldn't want to add to the irritation!! Hehe I have a bad habit of buying myself nice things when I'm depressed. I now own another guitar. Geeze... |
Donna13 19.02.2008 08:58 |
Zebonka12 wrote: Now now, with her history of weirdos from QZ that she's put up with, I wouldn't want to add to the irritation!! Hehe I have a bad habit of buying myself nice things when I'm depressed. I now own another guitar. Geeze...I used to do that with clothing. Ha. At least a musical instrument is a good investment. Anyway, I assumed your next international trip would be to India, for some reason. Freya could meet you there. I'm full of ideas and only one cup of tea so far this morning. |
john bodega 19.02.2008 09:26 |
Oh I'd love that, but I get funny in big bunches of people... if I could find a quiet corner of India, then definitely I'd go. |
john bodega 19.02.2008 09:27 |
Actually while I'm here, help me with some role-playing. I'm the girl that cut me out of her life because I'm too much of a depressed pain in the arse to have around, and life is obviously much more fun with a boring baldy.. OK, I'll be her. Now one of you be me - how do I tell this girl to get out of my life because she's killing me? |
Donna13 19.02.2008 09:38 |
Zebonka12 wrote: Actually while I'm here, help me with some role-playing. I'm the girl that cut me out of her life because I'm too much of a depressed pain in the arse to have around, and life is obviously much more fun with a boring baldy.. OK, I'll be her. Now one of you be me - how do I tell this girl to get out of my life because she's killing me?This is not role play, but I can tell you that if she were thinking of you, she might realize that she is causing you pain by staying in your life. I don't know. You need to tell her, I guess. |
john bodega 19.02.2008 10:17 |
I don't want her gone though :( I suppose I'm getting bogged in the short term consequences, huh? Hmmm. |
magicalfreddiemercury 19.02.2008 10:23 |
Zebonka12 wrote: I don't want her gone though :( I suppose I'm getting bogged in the short term consequences, huh? Hmmm.You might not want her gone, but you need her gone. You need to see you WILL live without her... in fact, without her, you stand a better chance of living happy since she's only a reminder of what you want but cannot have. |
john bodega 19.02.2008 10:28 |
Yeah.. You're right. :( It's hard to let go of. Despite all of this, we still had so many little plots and schemes, all these quirky things we were going to do. She was never in love with me but goodness we were close. I miss it. Still.... well anyway. Thankyou. You bastards are right :( hehe. |
Lisser 19.02.2008 10:40 |
Don't tell her anything, just do what you can to avoid her. Don't call her, don't email her, don't text her. Nothing good can come out of you telling her that you need her out of your life for your own good. That will only piss her off. If you need her out of your life, just let that happen. Act as if she doesn't exist and soon you'll be ok. If she is the one for you, it will happen no matter what. She will either realize that she needs you or wants you in her life, or she won't care. Either way you'll know. The hard part though is if you disappear from her and then she calls you still wanting you around as a friend. That will be a very difficult situation for you to handle knowing that it hurts to see her with someone else. My advice to you if that does happen is to just apologize for not calling, say you've been busy, and ask her how she's been. Keep it short and nice. You'll do fine and I'd like to hope she is not out to hurt you or to keep you hanging around. If she is then avoid her like the plague. |
john bodega 19.02.2008 10:56 |
Lisser wrote: The hard part though is if you disappear from her and then she calls you still wanting you around as a friend. That will be a very difficult situation for you to handle knowing that it hurts to see her with someone else.... I've been putting myself through that for a year. Heh... I know it's pathetic compared to most peoples problems, but I don't cope well with stress. It's been a sucky time. What I hate admitting (even to myself) is that it's partly my ego stopping me from moving along. I really feel like when it does happen, it's going to hurt me a lot more than it does her, and something about that just makes me feel stupid. Like slamming a door on a roomful of assholes, and the door only going ".... clunk". |
Lisser 19.02.2008 11:37 |
Zebonka12 wrote:Your problems and life issues are not pathetic! You have the same right as everyone else to ask for advice or opinions!!! It is gutwrenching to watch a person that you feel should in every way be with you but they are with someone else. The only thing I can say to that is that time heals all!!! It does!!! Do not feel stupid. Your feelings are very valid and real but for your own good and later on down the road, you should not voice them to her again, bc you already have right? That is all you can do.Lisser wrote: The hard part though is if you disappear from her and then she calls you still wanting you around as a friend. That will be a very difficult situation for you to handle knowing that it hurts to see her with someone else.... I've been putting myself through that for a year. Heh... I know it's pathetic compared to most peoples problems, but I don't cope well with stress. It's been a sucky time. What I hate admitting (even to myself) is that it's partly my ego stopping me from moving along. I really feel like when it does happen, it's going to hurt me a lot more than it does her, and something about that just makes me feel stupid. Like slamming a door on a roomful of assholes, and the door only going ".... clunk". Oh and slamming a door on a bunch of assholes and only hearing clunk is still enough for me! :) |
Donna13 19.02.2008 11:41 |
Maybe overall avoidance would just be the best thing (Lisser gives good advice). You don't want to destroy yourself over this or cause an uncomfortable scene. And maybe I was being too harsh when I suggested this girl might not be considering what it is doing to you. I don't know her. I'm sure she is a very nice girl, or you wouldn't like her so much. (Sorry.) Whatever you do, we're all behind you. |
john bodega 19.02.2008 12:04 |
Donna13 wrote: I'm sure she is a very nice girlShe is, she is... too nice, sometimes. Heh Thankyou for listenin'! |