Twas the night before Christmas and it was as quiet as a mouse...
according to Cornish Legend this is the true story of why we have turkey for Christmas in the UK and not rabbit...
Jesus was hosting his annual Christmas "works" party and had invited all his mates around his place for a glass of JD and a mince pie.As usual Matthew had decided that for the feast he would bring chicken pate,Jesus was not a fan of Matthew as he kept sending him TAX collection forms every november and tried to grab every penny he could from him.
so this year Jesus had decided to get his own back on Matthew and had sent John[Jox] out to get something different to eat ie a rabbit.Jox was a Pirate and a good one at that and had decided that he would get a goose instead to impress Jesus and get in his good books for once but Jox had never seen a goose before so the night before the party he went searching in the middle of the night around Porthleven looking for one..
eventually he stumbled across what he thought was a "goose farm" at the back of the old Methodist Chapel,what he didnt realise though that it wasnt the "goose farm" but Judas' back garden full up with his prize winning "free range orgasmic" Cornish turkeys..
Jox grabbed the nearest bird with the longest neck but little meat on it [named Posh Spice] and took it back to Jesus' kitchen for the feast.The food was devoured within minutes and Jox was in Jesus' good books for once until Judas left and went home...
when he got home Judas noticed that "posh" was missing from his back garden and went looking for the bird,on his travels he bumped into Jox who by now had drunk a few JD'S and was quite merry.Judas asked him what they had eaten that night and Jox being the pirate that he is told him that Jesus had sent him out to get a decent meal and that he had found a goose just around the corner from where they were.Judas flipped as he realised that the goose they had eaten was in fact "posh spice" his award winning turkey,Jox Skipped off drunkenly into the shadows and left Judas fuming on his own.it was at this time that 2 roman centurians passed him with a "photoshop photfit" of Jesus in their hands and showed Judas the pic...
"yes" said Judas " i know him,he's just eaten my award winning turkey worth 30 pieces of silver.he lives over there"
the romans handed Judas 30 pieces of silver as compensation and the rest is history...