| Winter Land Man 10.12.2007 23:05 |
I've been diagnosed as having Severe Anxiety/Agoraphobia, Panic Disorder, ADHD, and mild OCD. Doesn't help I have severe depression. The doctors have me on 1mg of Ativan four times a day (every five hours), as well as Ritalin (5mg twice a day). Symptoms/info on my problems Constant shaking - Well usually I'm shaking. I feel weak, like someone who is about to be attacked by a dog, or has a gun up to their head. So I feel shaky, and weak. Vertigo - I get horrible vertigio when I have a panic attack, so bad I can't walk. I constantly feel slightly dizzy all the time, and I have a big fear of dizziness. I also fear my anxiety obviously. De-realization.. usually during a big panic attack, but sometimes I get it for a few moments during the day. I'm constantly feeling un-comfortable and out of place. Sometimes it feels like the world is turning sideways when it's really not. I was put on the Ativan in August of 2006 because my girlfriend, Jessica Slattery, and I were going on a trip to VT and I was in bad shape. That summer my anxiety took a turn for the worse... I hardly left my bedroom, except at night. I stopped eating and didn't drink much, and I started smoking cigarettes so much. I'd be too afraid to leave my beds at times, due to these panic attacks I'd have, that would last for hours. I'd piss in cups too. I'd pace around my room. And if I went outside, I'd pace around the yard, or read in my tent which I insisted on sleeping in for about three weeks. I'd constantly move, or contstantly try to find a place where I'm comfortable but nothing helped. Before I was on Lorazepam, I went from 230 lbs down to 160 lbs (in only a couple months) due to my constant pacing, nervousness, shaking, smoking, and lack of eating food, or drinking drinks. I was pretty pale too. A BIG PANIC ATTACK When I first took Lorazepam, it worked great, for quite a while, but gradually it started working less. A few months ago, I was at the computer one night, Jessica was on the couch and I was like "let's go for a ride" and she said okay. I felt funny and riding in cars always calms me down. So we go for a ride and I'm feeling fine. But when we started coming home a couple hours later, when we get about 10 minutes from my house I start feeling anxiety building up. When I got home I felt so weak and shaky. Jessica went into my parents apartment to get something, and I grabbed some Pepsi out of the car and started to walk to our apartment (My parents own the whole building), and when I got half way up the driveway from the parking section, I dropped the Pepsi and fell down due to some violent vertigo, so I got up as soon as I could, ran to the car and held myself up. I waited a minute and felt a little better but still shaking as hell. I go inside to my parents house where Jessica was, and I told her to hurry up (she was in the bathroom), I told her I was feeling like shit. All of a sudden, another round of violent vertigo and I fell to the floor. My heart was racing so fast, so I crawled to my parents bedroom to get the blood pressure and pulse kit. My dad yelled so I finally got myself back up and Jessica came out of the bathroom and I told her. Then I was getting morre severe vertigo. I told her we needed to go for a ride again. So we are walking out the door and I had vertigo so bad, it felt like I was falling through the earth! It was a horrible feeling. I fell and she had to hold me up and she was like 6 months pregnant at the time!!! I could of hurt her by falling on her. But she was worried about me. We finally managed to get in the car. She backed up the car but I felt dizzier, so I told her to call 911. She was too afraid too, she didn't know anxiety could be that bad, she didn't even know if it was even though I'm prone to panic attacks. I didn't exactly know if it was that either, even though I know them so well. Anyway, I finally said "Just fucking drive", and so she did. I couldn't open my eyes, and when I did o |
| YourValentine 11.12.2007 08:35 |
I am very sorry to hear about your condition. It must be terrible to suffer that much at such young age. From what I read in your posting, your treatment is limited to a number of pills per day. You have good chances to recover but you have to makle it your own task to get healthy. Find a therapy that works for you. Get information about alternatives like hypnotherapy, autogenic training, psychotherapy. Try to find a self help group to avoid expensive blind alleys. In a group you feel so much better than trying to beat all this all by yourself. You only have one life, try to make it better. A couple of pills is quite obviously not the solution. Try any possible alternative and be determined to get out of this hell - for yourself and for your little baby. Good luck |
| Winter Land Man 11.12.2007 14:29 |
They say I have a need to constantly keep moving. I'm always on the go... like in traffic, even if I'm not in the hurry to go anywhere, whether I'm the driver or not, at a stop light or in a small traffic jam, I'll get really anxious. Same with being in the same place for too long. If I'm at someone's house, after an hour, I'm like "too much excitment for me" and I want to leave. The psychologist is going to have me in group therapy, as well as a task, in which I must travel to places in the public by myself. |
| deleted user 11.12.2007 14:35 |
A kid in my tutor has that and she always runs out of lessons and has been put in isolation. I feel sorry for her and you but shes my friend and i kind of know what its like but it must be horrid |
| Holly2003 11.12.2007 15:09 |
YourValentine wrote: You only have one life, try to make it better.If only we could all stick to that the world would be a better place. Good luck to young Jake in his endeavours. |
| Deacon Fan 11.12.2007 18:06 |
I'm sorry you're going through this. I just hope you're being treated properly. It sounds like a mess. If you have more than one doctor, make sure they each know everything you're taking. I think I posted before in one of your threads and probably recommended the same thing, but I'll say it again: you can do wonders for yourself just by doing simple things like reducing the amount of caffeine you get, avoid stuff with NutraSweet (aspartame) because many have reported anxiety problems from it, and practice deep breathing exercises which can help you recover from panic/anxiety attacks. |
| deleted user 11.12.2007 18:27 |
Avoid coke and other fizzy drinks. I swear its not the caffine, though that does contribute, that makes you mad or anxious or whatever, its this chemical. I cant remember what it's called but it begins with P and its the last ingredient or it is separate like it says "CThis bottle also contains P........" |
| Winter Land Man 11.12.2007 20:46 |
The Bunny who lost her Golden Pants wrote: I'm sorry you're going through this. I just hope you're being treated properly. It sounds like a mess. If you have more than one doctor, make sure they each know everything you're taking. I think I posted before in one of your threads and probably recommended the same thing, but I'll say it again: you can do wonders for yourself just by doing simple things like reducing the amount of caffeine you get, avoid stuff with NutraSweet (aspartame) because many have reported anxiety problems from it, and practice deep breathing exercises which can help you recover from panic/anxiety attacks.I totally quit caffeine when I went to the hospital when I had that big panic attack. I don't drink much sugar (and fake sugar) products anymore. I used to drink maybe a 12 pack of Pepsi a day, and 1-3 large Iced Coffee's a day. |
| YourValentine 12.12.2007 19:09 |
Maybe I get the wrong impression and I do not want to undermine your doctor - patient relationship but in my experience patients who get involved and look out for more and better therapies have a better chance to get well. Ask your doctor about alternatives. He does not know everything and you may need further help and advice. Mainly support groups are very helpful, try to find one. Don't be afraiid that you might offend your doctor, a good doctor appreciates when a patient wants more information. It's obvious that each panic attack makes you more anxious and insecure. This circle must be broken. Remember it's your health and your life and you have nothing to lose. Make your recovery your top priority. It's not hopeless at all. |
| Winter Land Man 12.12.2007 23:39 |
YourValentine wrote: Maybe I get the wrong impression and I do not want to undermine your doctor - patient relationship but in my experience patients who get involved and look out for more and better therapies have a better chance to get well. Ask your doctor about alternatives. He does not know everything and you may need further help and advice. Mainly support groups are very helpful, try to find one. Don't be afraiid that you might offend your doctor, a good doctor appreciates when a patient wants more information. It's obvious that each panic attack makes you more anxious and insecure. This circle must be broken. Remember it's your health and your life and you have nothing to lose. Make your recovery your top priority. It's not hopeless at all.Well I've got a regular doctor who prescribes my meds and a psychologist, and a counselour. All females. I haven't had a bad panic attack since the one I had when I had to go to the hospitol because of it. But I'm having constant anxiety. Not as bad as '06, but I want it to go away. Since '06, it went away probably 40% |
| josedequeso 13.12.2007 00:33 |
Oh my, reading this topic makes me reflect on my own life. I've gone through the numerous things you've gone through. I've been diagnosed with heavy OCD, ADHD, and I've wnet through depressions, I was heavily medicated throughout my adolescence, I had many problems that you are now faced with. I’ll break this post down if I may, and I mean absolutely no offense if I take anything you say out of context, I’m just trying to compare what you’re going through with what I went through. “I've been diagnosed as having Severe Anxiety/Agoraphobia, Panic Disorder, ADHD, and mild OCD. Doesn't help I have severe depression. The doctors have me on 1mg of Ativan four times a day (every five hours), as well as Ritalin (5mg twice a day).” I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in middle school and I was placed on Adderall, another of the anti-hyperness drugs. I think I was on 20 mgs, twice a day. The consequences of being on this drug for so many years have far outweighed any supposed positives. I started to abuse these medications and ultimately had health problems. I used to not take it for a week and then take many pills at one time. As you can imagine, these constant ups and downs caused many health problems that I now must live with. Even healthy doses on a normal daily schedule will cause health problems. I hope you get some more opinions on these prescriptions you are taking and you don’t just go along with “what the doctor says is best.” If you still feel that these prescriptions are best for you, all I can say is that you don’t feel that you *need* to take these drugs to operate functionally. “Constant shaking - Well usually I'm shaking. I feel weak, like someone who is about to be attacked by a dog, or has a gun up to their head. So I feel shaky, and weak…constantly feel slightly dizzy all the time…De-realization” I still get this constantly as well, the numerous pacing around the house and in the yard, I feel like you’re talking straight to me. I have never drank a cup of coffee, nor do I do drink soda. It’s just (In my opinion) a mind-thing. The only thing I’ve found to combat this is mind-numbing exercise. When you feel this way, just go out and jog a couple miles. That’s what I always do, and it works for me :) “I stopped eating and didn't drink much, and I started smoking cigarettes so much… I'd constantly move, or constantly try to find a place where I'm comfortable but nothing helped. Before I was on Lorazepam, I went from 230 lbs down to 160 lbs (in only a couple months) due to my constant pacing, nervousness, shaking, smoking, and lack of eating food, or drinking drinks. I was pretty pale too.” Same here. There would be days when I didn’t eat anything at all. I normally skipped meals. I also used to chain smoke too. I could never find a reason for why I would do any of this. The heavy amounts of nicotine and lack of nutrients caused a lot of dizziness and outright hallucinations. I lost roughly 50 pounds in a matter of months. I remember those months, I was only 14 (surprised, a southerner smoking at age 14?). I’d never wish what I went through on anybody, and I’m sorry to hear you went through it as well. I’ve never had a panic attack, but it sounds absolutely dreadful and I hope you can get that under control. It’s just in my opinion drugs enable you to think you can’t face it on your own. You’ll never fully get over it unless *you* do it, not the drugs. So, in my conclusion I would like to say that you please don’t use any of you afflictions as crutches and that you find a way to combat them healthily. I won’t proclaim myself to be completely healed or anything like that, I will just say I’ve got it under control. And don’t say that you live in a “constant hell,” your physical health is determined a lot by your mental health, so try and keep a positive attitude. In echoing YV’s words, it’s not helpless, just keep fighting it. |
| YourValentine 13.12.2007 04:46 |
Great post, josedequeso. I think you are on a good way taking control of your health and finding methods that help you. Has any of you guys ever tried autogenic training? It's really quite easy to learn and once you know how to do it you can calm yourself down in any given situation by autosuggestion. Luckily,I never faced such severe problems but I am sure there is therapy apart from taking drugs that get you addicted. Actually, you are not even allowed to drive if you take Lorazepam which is highly addictive, too. |
| Gratzi 13.12.2007 05:13 |
Good luck Jake and take care! :) It'll turn out alright eventually. :) |
| Deacon Fan 13.12.2007 08:27 |
I haven't exactly learned auto suggestion I don't think, but I have gotten to where I can feel the anxiety brewing and I can will myself out of a full-blown panic attack. I walk around, breathe deeply, drink some water, talk to or call someone if necessary and it passes. It's a great feeling to be able to recognize these feelings and take control. In my case it took a long time though. I just eventually realized that I was alright physically and that it would always pass. It took trips to the hospital and lots of tests to assure me about my health but that's what did it for me. Ahh, I just remembered something else. My first attack occured about a week after getting a mercury tooth filling in 1990. I never made this connection until just a couple years ago when I read about others experiencing problems from mercury. I hate to be the type who points to some isolated cases where people blame one thing, but this and the NutraSweet thing made perfect sense and seemed to apply to me so I always casually suggest that they at least be considered when someone's having problems. |
| Freya is quietly judging you. 13.12.2007 08:46 |
EllieTheQueen wrote: Avoid coke and other fizzy drinks. I swear its not the caffine, though that does contribute, that makes you mad or anxious or whatever, its this chemical. I cant remember what it's called but it begins with P and its the last ingredient or it is separate like it says "CThis bottle also contains P........"Is that that Phenylalanine (sp?) stuff? |
| YourValentine 13.12.2007 09:08 |
link I just looked if autogenic training is even known in the US and apparently it is. You start with controlling the perception of warmth and weight in your arms and legs, you proceed controllong your breath and finally your heart beat. If you have some experience you develop formulas for your own problems like for example: "I do not care if I sleep or not" (insomnia). The relaxing effect of autogenic training is very impressive, you can overcome fear of flight, panic in exams and many more situations within seconds. The health care does not pay for it (in Germany), probably because the industry would lose so much by not selling all the sleeping pills and sedatives. Autogenic training is not some esoteric hokus pokus, it's an old, very well documented technique and not dangerous at all. I don't understand why it is not even tried more often since it's so easily available and easy to learn. I am not saying it's the answer to severe conditions but at least worth a try. |